How do I deal with a sister-in-law I can't stand?

Question

I guess I should probably give a little detail.. She thinks that I am controlling. My husband works graves and I asked her nicely, once, to please not wake him (by calling in the mornings) and she flipped out. The problem escalated from there. She has since called me names, said rude remarks to my face, told my husband that I am brainwashing him, so on and so on... I have always kept quiet, out of respect... But how much should I have to put up with before I just SCREAM! My husband has my back 100%, but I hate to put him in that situation. Just looking for ideas that I may not have thought of.

Answer 1

Without knowing why you can't stand her, it's hard to say. Let's figure it's nothing major, she just irritates you...

So how's your relationship with her brother? If you're on good terms, generally, with him, how about putting up with her in order to make his life easier? You do this by:

1) admitting to yourself that all people, yourself included, are flawed. Imperfect. Have room for improvement.
2) forgiving her for just being human (see above).
3) tell yourself that no matter how long it seems when you're together, it isn't eternal. At some point, it comes to an end. You just have to get through the next hour, day, whatever.
4) determine that you are not going to let her get to you - you are going to rise above it and be calm and polite.
5) make plans to do something fun for yourself, whether it's rent a movie you want to see, or go out for lunch, following the visit. During the visit, remind yourself that you are "earning" this treat by putting up with her with a smile on your face (or at least politely).
6) Remember that any argument needs two participants. She can do whatever she likes but it's not an argument until you respond.
7) Remind yourself as often as you have to that you love her brother and this makes his life easier, that you're not going to let her drive you to be anything other than kind, and you have a treat coming for being so good, and you'll be able to really enjoy it, knowing you deserve it.

Good luck!

Answer 2

HEY! Read this,we are in a very similar situation. My sister-in-law is a psychopath, I'll try not to get into it too much, she's just pushy, rude, and loves to make trouble. My husband has always been wary of her,and now she's always going behind my back, making fun of me to my friends (of course it all gets back to me),and she tells people I am the reason my husband isn't close to his family, and she wants to have a girl (she has 2 boys) because women always steal mothers sons away from their family, I know she's meaning me..the thing is, I have never said or done anything rude to her. She always goes back to her family and makes things up that she says have happened, and I try and stay out of it, so our side is never ever heard. I can't stand being around her. What I do to cope, is try and avoid her as much as possible.It's hard being in the same town, but as often as I can, I avoid her and get out of plans that include her. It's her fault for being so horrible. I also try not to complain to my husband about her too much (unless he brings it up) because it feels unfair. I feel so sorry for him, he is so amazing and understanding,I would love to be close to his family, but how much crap and abuse can I take? Why can't they all just be happy that he and I are happy together, because we are! Good luck...

Answer 3

Smile and nod. Then go home and write in your journal.
My stepdaughter drives me up a wall. She thinks I'm stupid. I just let it go because I love my grandchildren. It doesn't do any good for me to react to her. It simply makes things worse.
My husband is totally on my side in the matter and would stand with me if I told her off. But he really appreciates that I can be the bigger person.

Answer 4

The best thing to do is grin and bear it. No one says you have to do things with her, or be around her... but when you do just remember that its a short period of time. You don't want to treat her bad because that will just put a damper on your husbands/Brothers relationship with her.

Answer 5

I even have been interior the comparable boat for 5 years now yet thankfully she moved 0.5 way around the country reason her husbands interior the army and replaced into stationed in texas. yet my gosh she replaced into so stressful, nosey and impolite and ive heard her communicate crap approximately her very own relatives and he or she heavily acted like she replaced into greater efficient then easily all and sundry else she even talked all the way down to her husband all of the time in front of easily all and sundry guy i've got confidence sorry for him yet they are mormon and have been sealed interior the church. and my husband finally snapped at her and informed her approximately how shitty her existence is and what has she performed that makes her sense she could take care of easily all and sundry this form. and the relatives close thiers mouths and did no longer say a be conscious i myself think of i heard her mom giggle in the different room no humorous tale and eversince she has straightened up exceedingly as quickly as I hit her inlaws van that she borrowed on christmas day it replaced into an twist of way forward for direction yet guy they threatened to sue me. her husband did and that created an entire challenge together with her and her relatives and now her relatives hates her inlaws its kinda humorous reason thier all mormon and here the place i stay all of them think of they are greater efficient then easily all and sundry else even in thier very own church. i dont understand if this tale facilitates yet whilst she tries to tell something lower back or perhaps though she does and you sense the could get it out DO IT.. thier relatives wont carry it against you for long exceedingly if it occurs after your married. easily all and sundry needs to be put in place each now and then.

Answer 6

You must remember this sister-in-law is your husband's sister. For the sake of your marriage, you need to treat her with respect and kindness. You're not responsible for her behavior; you're only responsible for how you react to her.

Answer 7

Just keep to yourself. Try to avoid being near her at all costs.....be corial when you see her but nothing beyond that.

Answer 8

just ignore her remember she is your husbands sister, i would make a point and tell him you cant stand her

Answer 9

do what i do hon,when she visits go along with the flow for the sake off your hubby,she'll soon go home,

Answer 10

uh well you can do something thats illegal but i wouldnt recommend it unless you want jail time or you have somehwere to hide the body