Ok, brace yourself - Me and my boyfriend have been together over 2 years (living together) we have a gorgeous son (8 months) We fight everyday - yelling, screaming, putting holes in the wall, it's just ridiculous- I told him that I was leaving him - moving out - and he (who lost his job due to a drug habit) is begging me not to go - because he can't make it financially and he wants me to stay until he gets his **** together - but EMPHASIZE that we are not together. I'm suffering - but I can't "abandon" him - I do care about him but I'm sacrificing my life and I'm so tired of putting my son through this - what do I do to make sure that he will still be OK? Help!
2007-04-06 05:35:27 · 15 answers · asked by Sweetness 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are not sacrificing anything other than your son's well-being. Who decided that you are responsible for others? That is a co-dependant trait and I would suggest that you find an Al-Anon meeting to start attending. Also - you are enabling him by letting him stay as he doesn't have to suffer the consequences of his drug addiction.
Take care of yourself and your child - he can take care of himeslf.
2007-04-06 05:40:22 · answer #1 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you abandon him, he abandoned you and your son, when he lost his job due to his drug habit. You are not his mother, you are the mother of his son, your only owe your son a life without stress, fighting, yelling, putting holes in the walls, you don't think that even at 8 months this doesn't affect him. Get out of that relationship, now, don't look back. You and your son will be just fine with out all the drama. God Bless.
2007-04-10 06:33:29 · answer #2 · answered by Bethy4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl get out I have learned from much experience that if it is not making your life better get out. I understand completely about wanting to make sure he's ok but whos more important him or your son. From experience I lost both of my boys not to the state but they wanted to leave because of the constint fighting its no place for the child. I chose to stay with the man and my boys stayed with my sister. My life went down hill tremondously and now I am at the very bottom because I stayed do you and your son a favor and get the hell out.
2007-04-06 12:46:47 · answer #3 · answered by proudmombg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By staying with him you are enabling him. He will never come to terms with his drug habit unless you force him to make some decisions. Leaving him until he cleans up his act is the best possible thing you can do. He will either shape up or continue - it will be his choice and there is nothing you can do to force him to make the right decision. Regardless - your son should not be exposed to the constant arguing and the drug use. Doing what is right for your son is your number one priority.
2007-04-06 12:51:49 · answer #4 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should take your son and get out. You do not need to put your son through this nor yourself. He needs to get his act together on his own without hurting you or your son in the process.
2007-04-06 12:47:30 · answer #5 · answered by TeaLiLMsBlond 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch you are in a bad position. You need to do what is best for yourself and your baby. Once he gets his life in order then see where the road takes you. Fighting all the time is not healthy for you, him and the baby. You need time to get your life in order. Remember the saying if you love someone let them go if it was meant to be they will come back. I think that is the way the saying goes.....if not I like that way I said it.......anyhow, good luck to you and your baby. Do the right thing
2007-04-06 14:23:41 · answer #6 · answered by Stephanie P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there done that: your main concern should be your son because if you keep on in this relationship, he will grow up and think that this is how a relationship should work. and we both know it isn't. tell your boyfriend that you are going to walk away until you both can work on your communication skills. you need to worry about the violence.It's never good for either person. you can still be together, but please move while you still can
2007-04-06 12:44:42 · answer #7 · answered by kel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about your son. He should not be growing up in an abusive household like that. You should move out until your boyfriend gets his act together.
2007-04-06 12:40:52 · answer #8 · answered by <~*Megan*~> 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't fix a drug addict until they want to be helped. For your sanity and your son's well being, get away from him and force him to face reality. He can't have you supporting his bad habits. He won't fix them until he realizes he has no crutch to lean on. Of course you care, but he has to take responsibility and until he is drug free, he will not.
2007-04-06 14:18:28 · answer #9 · answered by rac 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him for the sake of your son.if neighbors or family members know about the fighting,screaming and hole punching they could call child protective services and you could loose your son over this drug addicted man who is most likely abusive in other ways to.let him figure out his own crap and you pack up you and your sons things and move on .
good luck!
2007-04-06 12:43:16 · answer #10 · answered by tia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋