Ex-Mormons or inactive Mormons: What was the 'last straw' that finally made you decide to leave the Church?

Question

Also: Mormons, have you ever considered leaving the Church? For what reason? Why did you decide not to leave?

Beta-Fishy: That's cute; thanks! Keep in mind though, that Satan inspires just as much hatred against the Muslims and JWs (if not more at times), so it can't be used as the basis of an argument.

PS I liked your old avatar better with the short haircut and big smile

Beta-fishy: Well... not exactly. I have asked several JW questions, but for right now I like the Mormons. I have also asked Catholic and Muslim questions.

The problem is that all of these other religions (except maybe the JWs, to an extent) acknowledge the problems and embarrassments of their religion, so it's generally a "yeah, I know, why keep bringing it up?" type of thing, whereas the LDS tend to dance around the question or deny it, either because they don't know or because they don't want other people to know.

Pinkadot: Yes, actually, I have attended several LDS Church meetings. Keep in mind that I studied with LDS Church members and missionaries for awhile. I read the entire Book of Mormon, and upon praying several times (and even fasting) to know if it was true, I did not receive a response. Doubting my sincerity, I read the entire BoM again, this time with the PoGP and the D&C. I also watched General Conference. I prayed throughout, fasting again at times, to know the truth. I decided that if I did not get an answer after finishing the BoM the second time, then I would turn to the Bible again and pray for answers on the LDS faith. I finally did so, as a "last-ditch effort" to be touched. I found that I was much more at peace with the Bible. I was excited to finally know through the Bible that the LDS Church was true. What I found, however, is that I was touched by those verses that contradict the LDS faith, rather than the ones that support it. (out of space, will continue in new post)

After spending nearly two years of my life believing it, having made the decision that it was true and then looking to confirm that truth with God, only to find out that it was false was a huge blow to my esteem of the LDS Church and what it claims to be. I highly doubt that there's a person who sought more sincerely than I did. I had heard and read anti-mormon material before, but only after this experience did I take it seriously rather than assume it was false.

Well, there you go. There's a pretty good summary of my Mormon experience. It had nothing to do with the people, nothing to do with the scriptures, nothing to do with living the standards of the Church (I have always been faithful to my wife, and even before meeting LDS had never drunk nor smoked; I even paid some tithing during my second BoM reading!). I just found out for myself that the LDS Church wasn't God's true Church. That's when the anti-LDS claims began to make more sense. Now you'll know where I'm coming from.

Answer 1

Maybe some of these people know you a little better than I do, but hey, why can't we give a brotha a break? This man has questions about our faith and we insult him? I don't see anything perjorative about his question...

Anyway, no I have not left the Church, and no, I'm not planning on leaving it, but I can say that my testimony has seen its share of opposition.

Doctrines such as polygamy and Plurality of Gods can sometimes be difficult to accept if you're not prepared. This is how it was for me at the beginning. I thought "How can the Church say there is one God out of one side of its mouth while claiming that Abraham, Isaac and Jacob have all become gods (D&C 132) out of the other?" I also had big issues when I learned that Joseph Smith himself had had many wives (some of them very young), and that the practice hadn't started with Brigham Young, as I had previously believed. Just because D&C says David's wives were given to him, and BoM says they were "unrighteous wives", doesn't necessarily mean that it's contradictory or that there are problems. We don't know the situation. Maybe one was referring to David's pride in taking wives where the other referred simply to the wives the Lord gave him.

Anyway, people who leave the Church over questions like those just don't take enough time to think about it. I'd recommend relaxing about your doctrinal questions and giving it another go.

Answer 2

For me, I was a very strong believer and my life pretty much revolved around the church. After coming back from my mission I really wanted to convert more people to Mormonism and I remembered reading about how the Nephi in 3rd Nephi could teach the gospel so strongly that people had no choice but to believe him. I wanted to be like that, too, so I studied and prayed a ton, even more than I did before. I decided to start really reading the New Testament since those were supposedly Jesus' exact words and I figured that should be the foundation of what I believe and tell others. I had read the gospels before, but this time I really took it to heart and started to realize the differences between what Jesus taught and what Mormons teach. Long story short, I realized what Jesus taught and what Mormons teach are two completely different things. I left the Mormon church and was a Christian for about a year but dabbled in Buddhism as well. I realized after studying more that all religions are made up and became an Atheist. Nope, I still don't drink much. Maybe champagne for New Years but that's it. I just don't like the taste.

Answer 3

Good question. I've often wondered myself.
I've never considered renouncing my faith, however, I was inactive for 5 1/2 years. Let's just say I was relatively new to the church, and moved back home with my parents who were and are VERY anti-Mormon, and I felt like I had to choose between having a place to live, and using their car and gas to go to a church they were/are very opposed to. As soon as I was able, I return to church and shortly thereafter moved out. My faith was still strong during this time, and for a while (about a year or so) I continued to pay tithing and reading my scriptures. But eventually I stopped both. It was sort of difficult to go back to church, but only in that I didn't want to have a fight with my parents. Eventually my mom noticed my attitude change and told me I should go to church. I asked if that included a church they didn't agree with. She said that she saw how my whole attitude and personality were better when I first moved in and those few times I went when I first moved in with them, and that now (back then) she saw that I was in a dark place and my whole personality had changed for the worse. She said that where ever it was, as long as it made me better. Shortly after that I began to think about going back. That was almost 7 years ago.

For me, the reason I sometimes can be accused of "dancing around an issue" is because I'm not sure what good my answer would do. I certainly don't want to encourage someone to go inactive or leave the church or not come to the church. And sometimes the full on uncensored truth can be a little meaty to those who aren't familiar with our doctrines, or who is on shakey ground. If I were to meet someone face to face, I could gage their reaction and adjust my words accordingly, but online I don't have that luxery.

I've gotten the distinct impression that Mr. Penguin is a former member.
Penguin? Are you a former member?

Answer 4

I have never denied my priesthood and the truthfulness of the Church, yet I fell away for 30 years because of commandments I had broken.

My first wife had fallen away first and circumstances led me to sway too. Those commandments I had broken were committed in and out of the Army and I could not forgive myself nor did I expect the Lord to forgive me.

Surprisingly, it was my second wife--a non LDS member--that convinced me that I had to forgive myself before the Lord could. She was right. I lived a life not recommended from 1973 to 2004 which included riding partnerships with Hell's Angels and the like.

In last month's Ensign magazine is a great article by Elder Richardson about "Forgiving Oneself." It is a powerful testimony for those feeling not good enough to return to church. I only wish I had the article to read decades ago.

I know the Lord has forgiven me of my past sins and so have I and that is because of the Atonement through which our Savior sacrificed all.

Answer 5

Shortly after having been baptized, and confirmed I became inactive. During the time that I was inactive I lost faith in God and reverted towards the atheistic and materialistic views I had prior to investigating the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints. I at the time found that belief in any supernatural entity was out of blind faith, that the Bible was just written by a bunch of goat herders to explain the unknown, and the stories were all made up, that the archaeological evidence for the Bible could have been found in any texts at that time, it was not at all proof but just the location of cities during such time. I found that creation was an utterly ridiculous concept, that the Earth was not created in seven days, that a tower could not reach the Heavens, that no one could survive three days in the belly of a whale.. It is impossible for a species to exist sprouting from just two people (Adam and Eve) science clearly shows because our DNA would ultimately not support it. It was all absolutely ridiculous that Christians could possibly believe this stuff.. I found that it was quite evident that through evolution that Adam and Eve never even existed, thus the need for Jesus was not there. I was rather upset that the Christianity Cult could possibly mislead so many people into a violent lie that had no justification. How could these people possibly believe this garbage I thought to myself, how can they be in such denial.

I felt bitter, and saw things on my own terms. I did not want to believe in God, nor did I want to devote my life living for Him. Does the above look familiar? I could easily revert back to Atheism, I hang on a thread of hope and am putting my trust in the Bible, God and Jesus and our living prophets but it is not easy. I can not relate with the just the Bible. I do know that when I pray to God, I read the BoM, I am around Mormons that I feel a very powerful spiritual presence. My mind is opened to possibilities that did not exist before I was baptized nor while I was in denial for the several months after. I don't carry with me the testimony that so many others do. I am working at it, but I have doubts but my hopes out weight them and my willingness to trust the church assists me. My faith like a mustard seed is growing and no longer shriveled up as it was for a long time. I have been through the difficult times in my beliefs I have seen many conflicts of my religion as well as Christianity compared to what Science shows to be truth. I could just give up on it all and become an Atheist again, but such a life did not suit me it was an awfully depressing way of life for me. I felt hopeless, and without purpose. The idea that God does care about us by providing us direction through prophets, and Jesus saved us keeps me hopeful, and much more fulfilled. I came back because after I left the church I saw how hard my heart had become, how resentful I was towards theists, and how believing in God, Jesus, and the prophets made me feel, a very wholesome and wonder experience that materialism could not give me. I stayed because trying to keep in line with commandments makes me a better husband, father, and son. I stayed because I believe that the Church is true.

Answer 6

My husband and I had a disagreeement with our bishop. We had a really hard time sitting through meetings with him on the stand, and we felt so guilty about it. It was a terrible time and it would have been easier to stay home.

But we didn't because we believe that it's the Saviour's church, not the bishop's church. And then we moved. We moved to a little, tiny branch. It takes us an hour to get to church. And the branch president was my cousin. (We didn't plan that!) The issue we had been having with the bishop melted away and in its place was peace and hope.

We are both glad that we perservered through the bad time. And we have learned a few things about people in the church:
Sustaining your leaders does not mean blindly following them. It means working with them and helping them where they need help...because they are human and fallible. And no matter how miserable people become, the Gospel is still true. It's not a social occaision. It's a spiritual occaision.

Answer 7

I was baptized at age eight and have remained a HIGHLY active member my entire life. I served an LDS mission to a foreign country. Each and every day I seek to feel the spirit and ask Heavenly Father for opportunities to HELP someone else. It may be simply letting a car slip in in front of me during heavy traffic, it may be seeing a motorist stranded on the side of the road and stopping to help, or make a cell phone call for them, it may be visiting someone and hearing them say how their plumping just backed up and they need help with it. Somehow, by praying to be guided to help someone very day, I feel "led" to help.
That reaffirms my faith everyday. AND, most importantly, it helps me be focused on others and not worrying about my own self, my own needs all of the time. I feel I try and be a better person every day, to grow somehow, and as I look back over time, I think it is working.
No, I have never thought about leaving. I have it good (been blessed beyond the ability to contain it all) and have no need to look elsewhere.

Answer 8

You are so funny... have you ever truly investigated the church? And by that I mean - attended a meeting? Read the Book of Mormon start to finish? Prayed sincerely to your Heavenly Father about the truthfulness of the gospel?

Why would I leave something I know is absolutely 100% true? That would make me foolish... I have a knowledge of the gospel, I know it is true. Do I claim to know or understand every doctrine it its entirety? No and I probably won't gain a perfect knowledge in this lifetime...but that is where faith in my Lord and Savior comes in. I have faith that the answers I have received have come from Him and I do not doubt what has been quietly yet confirming to my heart and mind.

Answer 9

I was inactive for a couple of years. I think this was mostly being away from home for the first time.(even though I didn't go all the time growing up). I always believed but just didn't want to go all the time. I also got involved in the wrong kind of life style too.

Now I've been sealed to my wife, and we both enjoy attending all church meetings and as much activities as we possibly can.

gw

Answer 10

I have read and studied some of the things you posted and followed the links and you either flat out lied or you just misunderstood what you were reading. You know some of the things you post are lies and most are exaggerations. Why do you believe the things you read from anti-Mormons--being one yourself? When you know first hand that some of the things you post are lies?

You are and were looking for excuses to not believe. This is evident in your original question when you said 'last straw.' You were searching for excuses. Do you really think you're going to get an answer when you are really only looking for proof against it?

I was born in the church, but I hated church. I hated my parents for trying to force me to go. I hated life. I wanted to do whatever I wanted to do... whenever I wanted to do it.
As you know this doesn't go over well with God or His church.
My Dad is in the military so I've moved around a lot. 8 times to be precise. I wasn't able to keep friends for very long and I resented my parents for it. I blamed everyone else for my problems(esp. my family and the church for my problems).

When I turned 13 I became tired of the hate that consumed my life. I was tired of the way I felt about myself and my relationship with my family. So I decided I'd read the Book of Mormon and Pray every night-To see if there was any truth in what my family believed. Just two nights into it I was overwhelmed with love from my Heavenly Father. My life immediately changed for the better. I did better for a while about 5-6 months, but I was worn out and just was too lazy to continue to do things that brought happiness.

Again I fell away and went right back into the same situation just worse this time--because I knew for myself that God did exist and He blesses those who try to do His will. I knew I was doing things that were contrary to His will. I battled with the decision to follow my heart and follow the Savior. I attended other churches and I was shocked at the empty feeling in the church's.
During my late teens (16-19) I became very depressed. I even contemplated suicide.

I finally decided to give it one last chance about two years ago. I was 20. I really wanted to know. I told God I would follow His commandments and I asked Him to bless me as I did so.

To make the rest of this short--I now know that the LDS church is God's only church. I also know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. I know the Book of Mormon is God's Word. I have recieved witness after witness after witness.

Heavenly Father won't force knowledge on us--He won't try to prove His point--esp. to someone who doesn't want to know it. If you would stop trying to prove it wrong and ask will real intent. Then you would know. I know it's hard and scary too, but it's worth it.

Life makes sense now, I have ten times the confidence and 100 times the peace.

I hope you can humble yourself and try to prove it right through the power of the Holy Spirit instead of trying to prove it wrong and somehow get a positive answer.