Who is invited to the wedding rehearsal dinner?

Question

I am the single parent of a son who is getting married. I know that I am responsible for paying for the rehearsal dinner but the bride wants it to become a party for all of their friends. She is inviting every body she knows. I don't mind paying for a few extra people but not for her entire family and friends.

Who is technically supposed to be invited to the dinner?

Also, is there anything else that I should be financially responsible for?

Thanks from a very stressed parent.

Answer 1

My understanding was that the wedding party is all that gets invited to the rehearsal dinner. It's kind of a "thank you" for taking time out to rehearse for the wedding... Anyone else who wants to party should do so after the formal dinner and foot the bill themselves.

Answer 2

There is nothing concrete but I think it is appropriate for the spouses of those in the wedding party to attend the rehearsal dinner as well (we also included the Pastor and his wife). Some people do include all members of the immediate family into the rehersal dinner (brothers, sisters, aunts, uncle, out of town guests), even if they aren't in the wedding party. However, that can get expensive VERY quickly (to the point where it is patently unfair to the grooms parents). Edit: After the rehersal dinner, we had the out of towners and others meet at a local bar / pool hall to just meet, socialize and screw around for the eve (they had to pay for their own damn beer though).

Answer 3

The only people that should be invited to the rehearsal dinner are the people who are actually rehearsing something, the people that are a part of the wedding, parents, bridesmaids, groomsmen, and some close family members like sisters and brothers! Tell your son to tell your new daughter in law that you have no problem paying for the dinner, but it has to be intimate and that you cannot afford to pay for everything. You shouldn't pay for everyhting. Aren't the parents of the bride paying for half of everything? IT used to be tradition or customary for the parents of the bride to shoulder the costs of the wedding but nowadays it's whoever can afford it, or both party's families help. Your son should understand your situation and he should tell his bride to be!

Answer 4

At my rehearsal dinner we had obviously our wedding party and also invited the few guests that came in from out of town. My in-laws paid for the rehearsal dinner and the alcohol at the wedding reception and wedding brunch the next morning.

Don't stress! My mom was also a single parent because my father passed away and she just gave us a lump sum of money that she could afford and we spent it where we needed it. My husband and I were both adults and felt it was our responsibility to also help pay for our wedding so we covered what our parents couldn't. Your son will understand. He doesn't want you to go broke or get stressed out.

Answer 5

The rehearsal dinner is supposed to be just that, a rehearsal of the wedding ceremony and dinner. It would be difficult to practice with lots of guests who are not in the wedding.

Traditionally the people who are invited are as follows:
Bridal party & dates
Parents of bride & groom
Flowergirl & ringbearer & parents
Grandparents of bride & groom
Readers/ushers

Optional people to invite traditionally are out of town family who are staying at the house with any of the above people.

You can should invite any out of town family who will be in town that day OR you should plan something for them to do (such as have in-town family members host an informal dinner/BBQ at their house, or simply give them a list of fun things to do in town.)

And yes the groom's family is traditionally responsible for the rehearsal dinner.

Today, who pays for what is not set in stone. No one says you have to pay for anything. But if you want to, traditionally (according to the knot, but other sites say different things), groom's parents pay for the marriage license, officiant's fee, corsages, boutonnieres, the bride's bouquet, groomsmen gifts, liquor, and the reception DJ or band. And the bride’s parents pay for everything else.

Basically pay for whatever you feel you can afford and want to pay for.

Answer 6

Technically it is only for the people that are actually a part of the wedding and the parents of the marrying couple. A lot will extend it to the spouses or partners of the participants, but that's the only exceptions I would make. The wedding reception is for all the family and friends to celebrate, not the rehearsal.

Answer 7

Gee, these days the couples pay for their own weddings!
The rehearsal dinner would normally just be for the wedding party and their spouses (not bf and gf), the parents/grandparents on both sides, and immediate family members.
If they want a full "party" that's a horse of a different colour. They can throw one somewhere else at someone's home and just have drinks and snacks.

Answer 8

It should only be the bridal party, parents and the person conducting the ceremony. If she wants to make it a larger party, let them know that they will have to foot that part of the bill. The rehearsal dinner is supposed to be part of the final rehearsal. Good luck.

Answer 9

The rehearsal dinner is for the one's in the wedding party sometimes you can invite their families if they are married but i have seen it both ways where its just for those in the wedding party and then other's were if someone was married their mate could come your putting it on its really up to you

Answer 10

Only the people in the actual ceremony. It's a rehearsal, not a pageant. There shouldn't be any audience.

Invite the bride and groom of course, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, the minister or official and the parents of the happy couple. If you have a flower girl and ring bearer, then them and their parents as well.

Beyond that, it will distract from the rehearsal.