Does our society have no room for melancholia?

Question

As soon as someone is slightly sad or melancholy do they receive a prescription for anti-depressants ? or they are told to buck up.

Is our society trying to hard to be happy all the time? do we lack any time for introspection & melancholia?

Answer 1

I think that there is money involved in this and some unfortunate to say ignorance and untruth. Money and greed, and it is easier to push a pill on someone then to allow them to have any actual feelings. It is true that we expect people to say "oh, I am okay" all the time.

It is sad that now that one can't even say that they are hurting without hearing "oh there is a pill that can make you feel better".

I had a housefire about a year ago and everything that I had burned to the ground, it really frustrated me that others did not or could not understand that the feelings that I was having were completely normal and appropriate feelings for those circumstances. No, I didn't like them and they were up and down and here and there and all over the scale of things.

I wasn't allowed to mention how I really felt or cry around anyone unless the pills were pushed on me not by doctors, but people in the general public, "oh they will make you feel better".

My house was destroyed, I lost nearly everything that I had except mine and my little boys life and I was grateful that I didn't lose those, I could have, it could have happened in the middle of the night. I had all kinds of feelings all normal feelings. I can't lie about it, this fire was devastating to me at the time, but getting trapped back in this culture of so called "mental illness" would have been even more devestating.

Those pills or getting addicted to those pills wasn't going to fix that. It took time, and getting things straightened out. I was lucky I had some insurance so I could replace some of what I lost, not all of it, but enough to get mostly resettled. Some people might not have been that lucky. Each step was a struggle for me, but each step helped me to be stronger too.

I realized that I had to tell people that I didn't want to talk about it, it only made me more upset having to go over things so many times, going over and over it in my mind and wondering what people were going to say to me or ask me next. It was hard enough as it was.

I had to learn to tell them that I didn't want to talk about it, I am not a liar so if me telling them that I was not emotionally good meant them telling me to get help then I was having to lie to them, and continually having to relive the memory of that fire wasn't good either. I needed to move forward.

If you are helping someone move past a crises, don't keep asking them how they are or what they have, let them tell you what they want and need from you and do only that for them unless you want to do something and then just do it. Just let them know that you are there that you care.

There are somethings that all people need that are just simple things, first we all need shelter, clothes, and food, then we might need paper and pencils or pens to take notes with and something to keep our stuff in and for those that don't have it they may need transportation, some people may need access to a computer if most of their friends are on the computer or calling cards are another good thing.

If we make sure a person has these things and they don't feel like they are a burden or that they are obligated or that we feel like we are only helping because we are obligated then they can get through almost anything. People have been for centuries without most of this so called mental health stuff.

Often times we forget about the basic needs of common decency, mutual respect, need for privacy, caring, and sharing, with others.

The good thing is that I never went for the help that many of them suggested I go for, I didn't start taking the pills as many of them suggested and now thankfully I have my life back and am still clean and sober and things have nearly all been worked out and I am okay and so is my son. It could have been just the opposite I could have been trapped back in counseling, I could have been on pills, I could have been severely disabled again.

The thing that did help was having some good "friends" there that I could actually turn to and know that they would listen to me without pushing crap on me when I needed them. Then too having the money to get my life back together. Some people are not that fortunate.

Sometimes bad things really do happen to good people and there is no set time limit for getting things back on track and getting over it. I still have times when I miss things that I had that I lost. That is normal, but I am able to deal with it and am probably stronger for it. It has built on my knowledge base for how to help another or help myself to get through other things that happen in life.

Thank you for asking this question.

Answer 2

Melancholia is a personal affliction, which is a private affair with yourself. It is not a social condition. Therefore, society as a whole has no room for melancholia. However, within society individuals can use melancholia as a great creative force.

If it was not for periods of great sadness, or depressions, then many of the greatest artists or musicians in the world would have nothing to be creative about.

As I said at the beginning, society as a whole has no place for group melancholic sessions. However, within societies there are places of isolation for those that seek to explore their dark islands.

Answer 3

I am glad you asked. I think that too often prescriptions are thought to be a means of making the problem go away for the short term. Doses gradually increase, and so too do the effects of taking medication for so long on our bodies. Then we need more meds to take care of the long term problems the meds for the short term caused. I feel that society has got itself in a big damn hurry, and we have to keep up. If we don't we fear we'll be left behind. We fear that if we ask for help, we're thought of as weak, and again, left behind. I'm no Darwinist, but I have to give the man his props, it is a "survival of the fittest" at times. We have to be wise enough to know to pause and take time for introspection and giving ourselves a rest. We've gotten very used to being spoiled by the advancements of all aspects of our lives. Would you totally die without your mobile? 20 years ago, what did people do? Perhaps if we started taking time for ourselves each day, just to be alone with our thoughts, and passing that habit on to the next generation, perhaps there will be a decline in patients taking anti-depressants. It's got such a stigma attached to it, they're so common, yet it's thought of as shameful to have to rely on meds to be tranquil. When we remember to be kind to each other, I'd bet that would add to a rapid deterioration of melancholia. Just a thought. Cheers.

Answer 4

Sadness, melancholy & true depression are not easily tolerated by some as they really don't have time!

How often do we ask someone "How are you?" and expect them say say "Fine, thanks." even though their left leg just dropped off!

I really couldn't give a short(ish) answer to your question about society trying too hard to be happy because it is a DEEP question but I think we are expected to be more extrovert now than perhaps we were in the past. Even so, introverts have always been seen as a "bit odd" I think!

I think you are right that pills are given out too easily sometimes. Years ago after a huge disaster in my life I went to my doctor to tell him I felt depressed. He took a quick recent history from me, said he wasn't surprised I was depressed, told me to come back in four days and sent me home empty handed. Once I had permission to feel that way it almost seemed OK.
I think you have hit the nail on the head with that word "time". That is what seems to be really missing from many people's lives now. That and the fact that we live in a greedy, commercial society which denies most of the finer feelings that human beings have.

Answer 5

I like to feel melancholia sometimes. It keeps me in touch with who I am and what pleases and displeases me. I think its a crime against nature not to be able to feel it. It generally passes in a few days. (I am well aware that this is different to clinical depresion). Whenever it happens I (and close friends and family) know that I will come out the other side a better person, and a hell of lot healthier than if I had gone running for some pills.

Good question by the way.

Answer 6

Its Society that makes us unhappy - its not that we are striving for ultimate happiness - we are striving for some vague resemblance to happiness and some sort of quality of life.

Generally speaking people are unhappy! In all honesty how many people do you know of that you would describe as a truly happy person?! When surrounded by a melancholy attitude its harder be upbeat so people just slip in the same mudane patterns! i guess we liek to deny this to a degree so an ouvert unhappy person makes us feel uncomfortable because they represent what we feel inside. Rather than get root problem many take "easy" option and get anti depressants. (Granted i do realise there are people who are gueninely depressed and need them)

We are to a degree, conditioned to always be dissatisfied with what we have! How much better would we be, I wonder, if we recognised the simple things we take for granted or if we contented ourselves with what we have?

Answer 7

It does! It depends on people's attitudes and choices towards their problems, feelings! Some people who may have a light sadness go and see the doctor. The doctor instead of giving advice, he/she may prescribe anti-depressants. But then in this case one must think and agree to take them or not!! Some people agree to take them, continuously when they are not supposed to and they shouldn't have needed any medication in the first place. So introspection is really important!

Answer 8

Good question. I think there is always too much emphasis on conforming and censure (drugs,shrinks,detention) for too many people who simply see the world as a very dangerous and depressing place - I challenge anyone to tell me they are wrong.
So many of our great artists would have been committed to asylums were it not for their talent (sometimes not even that saved them). Literature and Art would be meaningless without tragedy and so would life. We should always resist the inclination to view those of a cynical or paranoid outlook as somehow "broken" or "unwell".
I am not saying that some people aren't mentally ill, only that just because you think maybe there won't be a happy ending it doesn't mean you are mad!

Answer 9

Is it normal to write 'normal' in block capitals? Who can say?

Melancholia and depression are parts of life... I've had brushes with depression, and struggled to avoid getting on medication for it. According to the doctors I saw, it's a partly mental and partly physical condition, and whilst they can't necessarily sort out the mental side, they can perscribe drugs that will sort out the bodies chemistry to give you a chance to get your head together.

I don't think introspection and melancholia are the same things necessarily. At the same time, I think it could be true that trying to be happy all the time leads to a crash... but being down for a short time and being down for extended periods are quite different things. With extended periods of depression, treatment of both mental and physical aspects may be necessary, but it's not like doctors come running with pills the moment you feel down. Still, I think there's a feeling that doctors can be a bit quick to perscribe anti-depressants when you go to them feeling run down... and that can be a slippery slope, because it's easy to get dependant on those things.

There's space in society for feeling down and taking time out... but I think a stigma remains against people who are reliant on medication in their daily lives... of course, if someone's feeling down, people are less likely to hang around them; then again, maybe the melancholic fellow would prefer to be left to his own devices? It's hard to be introspective when people are talking in your earhole and demanding attention...

Answer 10

Hello,

(ANS) The trouble as I see it is we have become a far less caring society, capitolism is more concerned about making money than the real & deeper needs of human beings. You can see that often because in business morality frequently goes out of the window when theres a profit to be made.

**We have no time to be concerned any more about our fellow human beings, as we rush from work to shoping, shoping has become a weird kind of therapy, a therapy that is supposed to make us happy, a therapy that is supposed to be on a par with sex, is supposed to reflect our status & lifestyle. But shoping only leaves us with more debts, more unhappy & more unforfilled, shoping can never fill up the spiritual hole lots of people feel inside, cannot take away the sadness, the melancola, the sense of emptyness.

**Materialism has an extremely limited value in making us happy, that can be seen in why people shop. i.e. to try to make themselves happy by having that next must have item. Its just like a dog chasing its own tail IMO.

**Anti Depressants or prozac cannot make us happy, they might at best help us to cope a little better with the sadness.

**When I'm sad or depressed I dont want drugs, I dont want people to try & cheer me up. I just need friends, family etc to allow me to be my sad self.

**The problem isnt with myself (isnt my own sadness or depression) its other peoples reaction to how I'm feeling.
Its other peoples feelings about how I'm feeling (if that makes sense?).

**Happiness is abit of a mythe in my opinion, you cannot chase happiness as if it was some ultimate destination that you arrive at like when you go on holiday. & no! you cannot turn happiness on or off at will in my opinion. No! you cannot gain happiness through taking drugs or pills either.

**Happiness is a state of being, a human condition. Happiness only arises if the circumstances are right for it to happen. Happiness is what you are left with when there is a lack or absence of fear or anxiety, or anger, when all other needs are taken into account or fullfilled.

IR

Answer 11

In the past GPs were happily prescribing anti-depressants to quickly despatch the melancholic patients without offering them any real practical help, but nowadays I believe they do refer them to counselling or some kind of therapy.

As for being told to buck up...that is usually us ordinary folk who are too wrapped up in our own lives to care too much for others or lack any sympathy/empathy for others. I actually people complain more..they are 'too stressed', 'going to have a breakdown', or 'they feel depressed' when really it's not that bad.