My pastor told me that as a christian i should never kiss or hold hands with opposite sex before marriage?

Question

he said when i see my boyfriend it must be in public

Answer 1

Your pastor has issues.

Answer 2

It sounds like your pastor is giving advice without explaining the reasoning behind it. I know some Christians who avoid kissing because it is a form of sexual contact and they want to save themselves for marriage. However, I have never heard that holding hands is a problem. Heck, at social dances I hold hands with girls who I have no interest in other than dancing for two songs.

If your faith is important to you, I suggest looking into what the Bible actually teaches on the subject.

Also, when you talk with your pastor challenge him to separate what the bible really teaches from his opinion.

Answer 3

Well, this is not really a question, but you seem to imply the question, "Do you agree?" I can answer that: no, I do not agree.

Frankly, the idea of so completely suppressing your emotions and emotional responses to that extent seems to me the height of foolishness. On what basis do you choose a marriage partner in such a situation? Or is he promoting the idea that you have some more appropriate way to choose a mate? Have your parents choose for you, perhaps? Or choose on the basis of the man's income, or his (apparent) piety?

I understand those who argue that you should not have sex before marriage, but only if they facilitate very young marriages. And in the modern world, that is rarely the case. The idea that you can't even kiss or touch one another is just too much stress. All it does is make you feel guilty.

The fact is, you have hormones, they call out to the primative mating urges which lie in your hind-brain, and you need to learn how to control your behavior. Not simply REPRESS, but control. That is, decide with your mind what you will allow your body to do. But if you love someone enough that you are at least contemplating engagement, let alone marriage, not being allowed to touch him, to be tender with him in private, would soon make you obsessive.

People who have such strict guidelines are not really expected to conform to them. They are expected to feel guilty, perhaps go to confession and vow not to do it again, do it again and feel all the more guilty. People who feel bad about themselves are so easy to manipulate.

Answer 4

Yes, I was told the same thing when I was younger - a christian should never kiss or hold hands with the opposite sex before marriage? So me and my girlfriend just had to settle for oral sex and intercourse before marriage. After we married we were so glad that we waited to be married before we held hands.

Answer 5

Sex is a gift of God to married couple. We all use this gift somehow wrong.

My pastor tells dating rules as follows ( these are guidelines, not directly from the Bible ): No kissing below neck. No kissing while laying down. All the clothes need to stay on the whole time.

My daughter is actually telling these rules to her boyfriend candidates. Unfortunately they cause relationship to break fast,but she is only 14 and I kind of want her to wait with serious relationships. She is worth the wait. Let's see what happens.

Answer 6

Ignore him.
Could be that he's just envious - or twisted - or both.
Go for the sex thing but be protected.
Sex before marriage was made a sin by ancient men who didn't have condoms or any other contraceptive means.
It is the pregnancy and resultant children that is the reason for such caution. An unwanted child is a disaster.
Sex before marriage is highly recommended fthese days for a few very valid reasons.
Do you really want to know why?
Ask the question.

Answer 7

Your pastor is wrong. If that's what you want to do, go ahead. The Bible talks about greeting each other with a kiss, and in many cultures, holding hands shows unity and friendship. Though it is more with your boyfriend, kissing and holding hands aren't ruining your purity.

Answer 8

Your age may be the factor. How ever the practice of abstinence until marriage was only accomplished by 15% of the population born after the year 1950.
In other words, truth be known,chances are they did not practice what they preached.

Answer 9

certainly refraining from such activities will help keep you from having sex. Fornication is a sin. I do not believe that holding hands and kissing are.

Answer 10

I grew up Baptist and holding hands and kissing was fine but it can lead to other things, perhaps that is why he said that. It is best to wait for marriage for sex and if you can control yourself there shouldn't be any reason to avoid holding hands and kissing

Answer 11

Its only to avoid the temptation of sex. Its not to be a prude. If you know you are a bit weak, maybe thats not a bad idea. The choice, however, always is and always will be yours. Choose careful sweety.