why do men not get emotionally attached? Are men machines and women the real humans?

Question

I still havnt had a proper relationship. And didnt start dating till I was 24. The relationships ive been in are destructive. Im a passive and quiet person. But it seems men are only superficially intrested in me. I never really thought I was that pretty. But people always tell me Im attractive. I see it but it took a while. Im 27 now and it seems like ill never be able to have kids and settle down. Is this life

Im not male bashing at all. I just havnt had a good experience.

Answer 1

There are a lot of men who go into a relationship not expecting anything long term. As far as some are concerned, it will either work, or it won't. Finding the right one can take time, but there are men who are interested in being emotionally attached.

I myself am crazy about a girl. I'm not with her, but I'd like to be. We talk all the time, questioning and having long discussions. It is her personality that draws me to her. For some of us, that is very important.

And with any girl I have ever dated, I have always wondered how things would turn out years from now. Yes, some of us are looking for something that will last.

Perhaps you can try doing something new. Try and meet people in a place where you don't usually go. It may be at work, a local pub or at a book club.

Trust me, the right men are out there. Sometimes they are just a little hard to find. Don't give up yet, but, if you haven't already, consider taking a break for a while.

Answer 2

Whoa there. My marriage and my last relationship both ended because I was too emotional and I loved them too much. How can you love somebody too much? I think that you may just be looking for love in all the wrong places. You sound a lot like me. 27, passive, quiet. Don't count yourself out on the being pretty thing. Beauty is all about how you carry yourself and the vibes that you give off. Don't give up and don't put a time limit on how soon you need to get married and have kids. When the time is right it will happen.

Answer 3

That is NOT true. Men can be emotionally attached. Usually when you're involved in these 'destructive' relationships, you are probably bringing them on. Since 80% of your question was about your looks, I'm guessing you yourself are a pretty superficial person and don't want to admit it. Maybe if you start focusing on something other than looks, you'll find a man that will love you inside and out.

Answer 4

Men can be and often are every bit as emotional as women. You have clearly met the wrong type of men and to change that you have to change yourself or your expectations or where you go socially or how you meet men. This is easier said than done but still true.

The most important thing for you is to strive to be happy now regardless of the circumstances and then this change in the present you, might just change your future.

I am 53 and have only recently (nine months ago) met a really good woman.

I wish you luck for your future.

Answer 5

There is nothing passive about you as it seems. You can be modest, pretty good and interestingly calm where there are men of you type or at least like the way you are generally.
And yes, unfortunately, not all men are romantic in a way that they are more sensual than being romantically patient with their girls. Women naturally are romantically higher than men, they go for soft and melting love words whereas men can't bear such stuff and get into action. so its not either our or men's fault.
You can find a man respecting your emotions and still be a man, until this time comes, trust yourself and who you are.

Good luck.

Answer 6

I would be more sympathetic to your question if you didnt insult men just because you cant get one! This reads as "if men dont like me they are not human".

27 is still young so dont panic. From what you are saying you are probably average looking which is what 95% of women are, they are just good at makeup, clothing, posture, confidence etc.
Maybe you're just pitching yourself at the wrong level, most people sure realistic about how they look and what partner they expect to get. The dating game is a market like any other and if you're expecting Brad Pitt but you're not Angelina then you will have problems.

Answer 7

1. You're picking the wrong men

2. It doesn't sound like you're making much of an effort. It's not a one way street, you're supposed to contribute to the relationship as well. It's not just going to fall into your lap.

3. Men have just as many emotions as women, we're just taught from an early age to repress them. In general, we don't overreact nearly as much, we're generally calmer and realize that letting all our emotions out in an orgy of tears ("why me!!??") doesn't usually solve anything. If something goes wrong, we prefer to see the funny side of it than the depressing side of it. That's just how it is, and if you can't accept that men think differently than women, then you will be doomed with your relationships. At best, you'll end up being like Debra from Everybody Loves Raymond. You'll have a great husband, but you'll scream at him night and day for not living up to your womanly standards.

Answer 8

Thinking negatively will not help, I always think I will not have children with someone either, it used to get me down now I accept that what will be will be but, I never give up hope when I do that then I fear my life will have nothing,selfish maybe but, that`s me at this very moment.(Bad Day) 2morrow may be better I might meet that someone! You are not to old to have children,so hang on in there.

Answer 9

Lots of decent looking women with big t*ts say the same thing....men might just see the obvious physical side of you and immediately get attracted to that, rather than want any emotional attchment

Answer 10

beleive it or not men are more attached than you think...especially at the very beginning stages of a relationship. We all act like a girl is ours before we even ask them out.

A very small percentage of guys are very sensitive and emotional...if you find one...don't let him go...he will love you forever.