How do you control your attitude and mouth at work when you need to keep quiet? What tips can you give?

Question

There is a lot of office politics and power struggles going on at work. So many times I have the chance to gossip or say something that I know is inappropriate. 99% of the time I keep my mouth shut. How do I control the other percent? I need some serious suggestions or ways to control my behavior.

Answer 1

When I get mad at work, or feel like joining in the gossip (like about customers, or stuff that goes on between us and them,) I say quietly out loud to myself "God, save me from being angry." Or, God, grant me the serenity". Works for me. Sometimes I have to say it over again and focus on it instead of everything else, it always fixes things, I don't say something I'll regret, or spread a negative attitude, that way.

Answer 2

If you're able to refrain from the gossip 99% of the time then I would say "Bravo!" to you :) It's not easy all of the time to keep our mouths shut when we have an opinion, especially when we feel strongly about something such as maybe work ethics. That one always gets me...who's not doing their job, or who you saw steeling from the break room closet...etc. Try caring a little less about it all, if that makes any sense. If you find yourself in a conversation with someone else about someone else, play dumb about the issue or quickly change the subject. As long as their name (the subject of the gossip) doesn't cross your lips in the conversation, you're safe. Good question, by the way.

Good luck :)

Answer 3

I handle precisely this situation in 4 ways:
1. I take megadoses of vitamins before work--4-6 multivitamins at a time, plus a Stresstab and an Eye-Vite. This has been shown to help reduce aggressive behaviors in both humans and pigs.
2. Outside of work, I spend lots of time doing things that I enjoy.
3. I walk away from a lot of situations that upset me, and come back when I've cooled down.
4. If I ABSOLUTELY have to say something right then, I say it in French. There really are benefits to speaking a language that no one around me knows.

You might ask your doctor for a trial of antianxiety or antipsychotic medication. A little Xanax or Depakote before work cn go a long way.

Answer 4

I wish I knew the answer to this one. I fall into that trap often. All I know is the people that I have admired on jobs are the ones that dont gossip. They wont buy into it. They are often postitive people that change the subject quickly when gossip comes up. I wish I could be more like that. I guess its just a bad habit thats hard to break. Remember, closed mouths gather no feet.

Answer 5

Actually your doing that right thing.. Ignore those ppl.. they want to talk politics let them.. You can say nicely to them.. That your not interest in the discuss and please take it somewhere else. I am working and that discussion doesn't belong her at this time nor and other time.

Everyone is entitled to there opinions. You can right in a journal when you come out and get out your frustrations.

Sometimes when you don't know what to say.. silence is golden. I just like to think ppl think i'm listening and I say what did you say or lunch gotta go now bye.

sometimes saying something so off beat is makes them go huh? it works I've done it many times before.

Answer 6

You can try keeping things in your mouth, like gum or something to chew on, and you can keep a 'diary' or 'journal' in your workspace and write down every time you feel like something dumb is occuring, you can also call up a trusted friend outside of work at break and talk about it, but try not to depend on them too often or you will end up complaining and pushing your friend away. Also, if you have a trusted co-worker, talk to them, make sure that its just between you two, but they will understand the best. Good luck

Answer 7

Wow I am so with you on this one. First, I commend you on your 99% success rate. That's better than most people can do. I think, in order to give good suggestions, I need to know exactly what provokes your 1% slippage.. Usually when people who don't ordinarily "gossip/say something inappropriate" do so, it tends to be because 1) strong emotions are involved or 2) their integrity is being questioned.

I am not a big gossiper but my main method of coping with stress is to talk about it (a carryover from being in therapy for so many years.) So what helps me is to have a person in reserve, someone who I do not work with, who I can call up and vent to a little, until the intensity of my feelings diminishes and/or I am feeling less impulsive and likely to act on my feelings.

Sometimes, if you have a manager you report to who is very good with employee relations, he/she can be a sounding board and assist you in seeing things from a better perspective. This is something you must be careful with, though, because they may not want to hear this stuff or may simply feel it is your responsibility to cope with it. I work in the training/customer service field so there's alot of support and encouragement to speak with management about such issues. Not that they should always intervene with other people causing you problems, but again, they can advise how to best handle certain things. Sales-type jobs tend to be very cut throat and usually management doesn't care about anything other than making the money so they aren't worried about having a warm/fuzzy working environment and don't want to hear about people issues.

I would not suggest quitting your job, necessarily, because petty nonsense and low-grade harassment happens everywhere you go. Very serious harassment that creates a hostile work environment for you should be brought to the attention of your HR department.

You can contact me if you ever need to vent about something. See my profile. (Unfortunately , I do not have access to personal email at work, so I can't reply til evenings.)

Hope that helps somewhat. I feel your pain!

Answer 8

Always remember that if it isn't your problem then you don't have to worry about it. Don't take ownership of problems that aren't yours. I would say 1% isn't that bad. I have a problem giving my opinion about things when it wasn't asked for. That always gets me in trouble.
If you see yourself in a situation where you might just say something, just walk away, say you have to go to the bathroom or something. That's my best suggestion, just don't let yourself get set up in once of those situations. And if by chance you do say something, just remember that by next month it probably won't matter anymore.

Answer 9

I consider Nino she has the right idea, in simple terms be your self...i'll bible study via my college and each and each and every unmarried individual in there's a professor and their spouse who's a instructor, i'm the in simple terms student there, yet I nonetheless talk up because we've all had diverse lives, and all of us can study a touch something from one yet another..

Answer 10

Boy do I know what you mean! I have a plague in my living room and try to remember it all the time "Lord put one arm around my shoulder and the other across my Mouth" Try it!!