i'm pragnant at 9weeks,i have been married for 5 1/2years and i'm 24&he is 27,i'm scared if he travels & leave me alone like every year for at least 1month to his country.
since we married we had this problem of him travelling with his family and i'm always left her behind to rebook my mother-in-law hospital' appoi,and check on the rest of them' bills and i was studing in uni,which him mum was always chossing either to travel during me uni time cuz the weather is nice in there.
he then promised me never to leave me again, but when i travelled with them last year for the first time to see his country,she made my holiday hell and instead of staying there for 2 months i came back after 5weeks, i even didn't go out with him once alone.he had to drop me back and take his aunti for his mum'sake, which it did badly effect us financially till now.
all i'm scared of is as i'm pragnant she will take it as a chance to get him travle with them this year, if it happen i'll leave for good, help!
2007-04-05 18:45:17 · 12 answers · asked by great woman 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Wow, I'm really sorry for you. Those mother-in-laws can really be a pain in the neck sometimes. It sounds like daddy's having a hard time cutting those apron strings. I've been happily married almost 16 years and 4 children later. When we were first married I had a problem with his mother trying to be way to involved with our life together. The Bible says the man is to leave his father and mother and become one with his wife. I held onto that advice and told my husband to choose. I now have a son, and I have to say that I called my mother-in-law one day and apologized for my actions years ago. My son is a mama's boy and I love him soooo much. I would be heart broken if he forgets about me or doesn't want to be large part of my life when he gets married because his wife doesn't want him to. I know it's hard, I've been where you are. The ultimatum I gave my husband wasn't fair........His mama gave him life. I would have to say, wait until after the baby is born. Use the time you have when your husband is away for yourself. Spend extra time with your family and friends, watch what you want to watch on t.v., go to bed when you want to, eat when and what you want to, see the movies you want to see, do things that you really enjoy doing but can't when he's home.....HAVE FUN!!!! Send him letters often expressing your love for him, talk to him on the phone late at night like you did when you were dating. Turn it into a fun game of life and when he gets home make his favorite meals and make him feel like he's king of the world with you, his beautiful happy (remember all the fun you had while he was away) queen by his side. I'll pray for you; that God will give you wisdom.
2007-04-05 19:16:34 · answer #1 · answered by ivebeenredeemed2 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I am in the same situation right now. I wanted to leave but I am really afraid. Not that I'm afraid not to be alone because that not the case for me, i know I am not going to be alone, I am worried about what will happen if I leave. I am so attach to his family especially his mother. She is the sweetest woman I have ever meet. I don't know what to do at this point. All my friends and sister are telling to leave because they know I am very unhappy,but i just can't get up and leave just like that with no reason. I've don't have the chance yet, I wish I would. Yes is like you're stuck or in prison. Some times in my quit moment I cried and ask God when is he going to take me out of this miserable life. I believe the day will come when I wouldn't care or be afraid any more.
2016-05-18 02:58:19 · answer #2 · answered by dimple 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, I want to ask you about the rest of the year which is 11 months.is he good with you the rest of the year? if you and him has a good life together and you are already pregnant and both of you love each other , why don't you let him go on vacations with his family and at least he will be busy taking his aunt , uncle,grandma out so what is the problem? if he travels alone to other countries with friends I will tell you that you should leave him now, you can do one thing, tell him, (in a very nice way) and this time you use your pregnancy..lol , that it will be hard for you to travel and that you want to spend with him few days alone to enjoy before you have the baby, and maybe he will have 20 days with them and 15 with you or even 10 days is better than to go and sit at home, for me I used to go with my husband every year to family house but this year I decided I will do something that I will enjoy , why not :-) I can see that his mom likes to control him, and you have to deal with her in a very special and clever way. why did he dropped you to take his aunt couldn't you go with them? I don't understand? so stay away from hell and enjoy heaven with him...good luck
2007-04-05 18:51:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok first off if you're in school you have to realize that you have to make sacrifices. You can't just pick up and go whenever you want, you have class. Also, it's his home country. You can't expect him never to see it again just because you don't like it. That's not fair. Especially if he was raised there. Another thing is that you can't expect them to go when the trip is going to be bad just to accomodate you. Why should 5 people suffer for the sake of the one person that DOESN'T even like it.
If you want to leave him then fine. Leave. But be enough of a woman to support your child if you're going to do it. You've already proven yourself to be a spoiled child with this question.
Think about it like this: Would you really respect and love a man that completely threw over his family for you?
2007-04-05 19:43:57 · answer #4 · answered by The Bride 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello! you were only married for 51/2 years that means you are both still adjusting and getting to know each other still. If you love your husband so much, you should love everything about him, I think your husband is a good man because he love his family specially his mother. A person who loves his mother/parents will be blessed. Don't be so jealous to your in-laws, remember they were first before you. All you have to do is learn to love them and it will turn out okay. Remember that women are the foundation of a good family. Family depends on every women. Don't leave your husband just because he loves his mother that much. Remember he married you, that's why he loves you that much, beside you will soon to be a mother and you will feel what I'm talking about. Don't you think that when your little baby inside you grow up you want him/her to love you and respect you just as what your husband is doing to your in-law? That's not a problem as long as your husband loves you so much.
2007-04-05 19:06:55 · answer #5 · answered by sweetzolober 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, we need to get you some help on your vocabulary. No offence, I only understood about half of that. Well my opinion is, let him go away for a month every year. It gives you guys some space, but no longer than a month. Sounds like the mother doesn't like you? Talk to her, set up a lunch. You need to tell your husBAND how you feel, honesty is the key in relationships.
Good Luck Darling!
2007-04-05 18:52:36 · answer #6 · answered by Elley s2 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would tell your husband that he's going to have to put you before his familly. You are his wife and it's about time he cuts the cord from his mom. You are having his child. If he doesn't agree with you than you may need to take a drastic step and scare him. it's not right that they treat you like that! The more you let them walk all over you the worse it is going to get
2007-04-05 20:55:24 · answer #7 · answered by miarae 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why did you wait until you got pregnant to worry about this? He should be putting you ahead of his parents--you are his wife. Your biggest problem now will be whether he will try to take your child to his country if you leave him. You need your family to rally around you, and get a VERY GOOD attorney.
2007-04-05 18:51:21 · answer #8 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well not sure what you are american? well if you married someone out of the country and now you dont' like the way they are well get out of it now and leave and dont' tell him pg and go.
2007-04-08 17:18:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to get an abortion and a divorce, in that order.
2007-04-05 18:59:39 · answer #10 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋