Why does it seem LDS men and women get married with very little knowledge about their bodies anatomically?

Question

It seems that while most have had "the talk" like anyone else and they may have even had anatomy and physiology in High School...they still enter into marriage with a HIGH level of naivete or innocence as far as how the female body works, where everything is and when they hear the parts of the female or male body they seem turned off completely. At what point does talking about the female body or male body for that matter become science? Why is talking about sexuality so wrong and why does it make people so uncomfortable? Are we in our church so afraid to learn something? are we afraid that sexual education taught properly will lead to perversions? Why is it that learning more about her body and his so taboo? I would think that learning more about the body and its capabilities could only improve intimate relationships. and it may be something more comfortably spoken within the bedroom, and it may be sacred in nature, it is still important to know as much as possible. am i wrong?

I am LDS..I married an LDS girl and it is a constant from most girls I have met..they are either offended of hearing about the female reproductive system from men and I have met several women who just seem completely innocent and naive when it comes to this subject....I am just curious as to why that is...it isn't a generalization...I AM aware that it isn't every woman..that would be ignorant..but to say that it doesn't occur...is also false...

Answer 1

This is actually a known and recognized problem that church leaders try to help new couples with. The problems that arise from the complete naivete of both people in a new Mormon marriage often leads to pain and hurt in their intimate relationship, which then often leads to divorce.

A few years ago, several BYU professors co-authored a book entitled Between Husband and Wife to address this very problem and to give couples knowledge ahead of time, and for those that had already hurt their marriage, to help them heal their marriage.

There is also the issue that it is not uncommon for inexperienced youth leaders to use 'scare tactics' about sex to keep the teenagers from experimenting. Instead of giving them the facts and letting them know what an important aspect of a celestial marriage intimacy is, they scare the youth and make them think sex is something that is inherently 'bad'. From experience, this is done more with the Young Women then with the Young Men. While growing up, I was in Young Women's in three different wards, and went through seven different presidencies. All but one told us how terrible sex one. Only one YW president broached it as a beautiful thing between husband and wife, but not to be abused outside of marriage.

Answer 2

Well, are you being a perve about "her body parts" or are you being kind and sensitive? Some people are just more naieve than others, as you must know we are encouraged to treat our bodies like a temple, not an amusement park...
I think it really depends on the person. I am sure it is quite a shock to a person to hear their whole life "don't do anything sexually" then after an hour ceremony - anything goes! If you haven't noticed by now, women are different than men, not just in the obvious physical ways, but we are so different when it comes to sex. We have to feel emotionally close to the person, "in the mood", not forced, we have to feel good enough about ourselves to be naked in front of someone! In my experience and with talking with lots of girlfriends, women don't generally think the male "anatomy" is all that attractive - atleast not in the same way men love the female body...sorry guys.
It's harder for most women than you might think - and some just take a little longer to enjoy it than others. Why not try talking to your wife, ask her if she has any insecurities and ask her what YOU can do for HER...
Sure, it's good to know about each other's bodies - but not from or to your buddies over a cold drink... The beauty of sex and marriage is you get to learn all about eachother, you get to know everything personally and hopefully it is special.

Answer 3

I didn't have that problem going into my marriage. I paid attention in school, and my dad even gave me a book called "and they were not ashamed" (which is essentially a religiously sensitive sex book) right after I got engaged just to make sure I was prepared for all the details.

The thing is, I think you'll see this come up quite often in ANY religion that teaches fornication is a sin. Some parents and Sunday school teachers just give the message "sex is dirty, it's evil, it's wrong, and you should save it for the one you love" (which is a totally mixed message).

I think religious parents absolutely do need more council and direction in how to properly teach sex in a way that can align with their religion, but doesn't approach the subject with such fear or distaste.

Thanks

Answer 4

What you said in your question is soooo wrong. There is nothing wrong with learning about the body, but what is wrong is fornication.
I don't know where you got your information. But when I got married, I knew where everything was, and how it works, and how babies are conceived, and so did all my friends.
Your experience seems to be more of a personal thing, rather then a church thing.
LDS=The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints(mormons)

Answer 5

Well, I grew up in a house with a nurse for a mother. I was well aware of anatomy and physiology. The only thing was that I didn't study it by Braille.

How do you know this? Did you marry a Mormon girl? Are you generalizing? And if so, what difference does it make to you?

Answer 6

Yes you are kind of wrong. Our bodies and how we have sex with them isn't really that important when you step back and look at the big picture.
How about if we learn how to interact with others and respect others for who they are----focus on others instead of ourselves all the time--man was able to procreate on his own way before sex education was taught in class.
And by the way Mormons don't have any problems in the number of children they produce.
And wouldn't it be nice if a husband and wife could bond by experiencing their bodies for the first time with each other?
Kids now days are too comfortable with their bodies---they are using them all the time.

Answer 7

I don't know about this, the women I know pretty much know their bodies and how they work.

There are SOME things that the only man I would discuss them is my husband. Just being prudent, I guess.

Answer 8

Who decided that having sex before marriage was abusing it????? I was LDS and went without SEX for over 8 years... gradually became a constipated B*THCH. Then I went out, got drunk and laid, and I've been having a great time! I feel better to!

Answer 9

Charlest..., LDS is the abbreviation for Latter-day Saints, another short term for a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The common nickname for such a member is also Mormon.

Answer 10

Are there still people living in such denial? So depressing.
I am all for sex before marriage, provided all necessary precautions are taken. It is really THE way to assess whether one is an ideal partner. Not that sex is the be-all-and-end-all in a relationship but it IS very important. Secondary to one's personality and character.
I still don't get the point ... the silly bible states that man was made in the image of the fake creator ... thus, it naturally follows that the god looks like we do ... well, maybe he looks like primitive man, all hairy and with a prominent brow.
If this is accepted, then what do we have to be ashamed of? Our bodies and all its constituent parts were designed by the 'perfect' creator ....
See how stupid it all gets?

Hey, god! If you don't like us enjoying sex, why didn't you make it really painful?

Religion - viewed by the common people as true, seen by the wise as false, accepted by the rulers as convenient.