I'm a mother of a 17yr daughter, a 15yr son and a 12yr daughter. In Sept, my son started making friends with the wrong group of kids, getting into serious trouble and doing horrible in school. To fix his problem, I was told by many to just "talk" to my son about his behavior and how it was unacceptable. I believe though that at 15, you should already know what behavior will and will not be tolerated so my husband and I punished him with a "house arrest". He wasn't allowed to leave the house (unless it was to go to school or work with my husband), have friends come over, lost privileges and our trust until he turned his goals and grades around. After 6 months I was happy to see him make an almost complete turn around in his life and slowly earn back everything he had lost. I spoke about how I brought him to success at a school meeting about a week ago and was surprised to hear a couple of parents and teachers say that I was too harsh on my son. Anyone else agree?
2007-04-05 16:14:27 · 19 answers · asked by Carrie R 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i believe what i did was right and could careless what others think of my parenting skills. i just wanted to what others thought of this punishment. I tend to be a fun loving person with my kids, but a very strict person if they act up and always wondered why parents don't always step in when their kids are in over their heads.
2007-04-05 17:26:20 · update #1
I completely 100% agree with you. I don't think you were too harsh at all. I'm not a big believer in the "talking" solution because it very rarely fixes anything but small problems. At 15, your son should know the difference between right and wrong. If he was having difficulty fixing his problem on his own, at his age, he should have came to his older sister, a teacher, your husband or you for help. Since he failed to do this, you did the right thing by stepping in and punishing him for his behavior and irresponsible decision making. The punishment obviously made an effect on him because he turned himself around and got back onto the right track. He matured and learned the importance of trust and privileges. I don't see your punishment being too harsh in any way. If it worked, it worked and that's all that matters. You should be proud of yourself and especially your son.
Best wishes to you and congrats =]
2007-04-05 16:30:48 · answer #1 · answered by Sam 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no dont ever let anyone tell you how to raise your kids or that what you are doing is wrong. Look how this turned out...he is just fine and doing so much better. At 15 your child should know what not to do and you remind him when he slips up but it got far past that point and you had to do something. WHat you did was amazing becasue you helped him turn around. These ppl that say you are wrong will have their kids turn into drug dealers or worse. Next time they say somehting like this to you give them the finger and say screw you. Your child was not in danger and you did not hit him. Just because he could not go out and have friends over will not in any way harm him. You fixed him! Be proud and stand up for yourself NEVER second guess yourself again. You cant please everyone, and we all have the right to raise our kids how we want. My inlaws learned very quickly not to ever doubt my parenting and if they do they keep it to themselfs
2007-04-05 17:24:49 · answer #2 · answered by I hate stupid ppl like you 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing and it shows your the results. Good job :)
You would still need to monitor and give him freedom bit by bit as he can be revert back to his previous behaviour. (sorry to be frank).
Constant communication with children is the best approach. It is always a balancing act between work and home and everything else.
Remember, no single approach is the best method. We always need to have an open mind and try different approach if the current does not work.
Good luck !
Father of 3 :)
2007-04-05 17:44:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't agree at all. More parents need to do exactly what you did in that same situation.
When you run into one of them after their kid has been arrested, be sure to say "Oh, well, maybe you just weren't harsh enough". What idiots they are! We don't have to wonder what's wrong in America, the answer is parents like them.
2007-04-05 16:26:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You were not too harsh! You saw a problem and you took control and made him earn back his privileges. If every parent did that there would be less of those "wrong group of kids"
congrats to you!!
2007-04-05 16:25:45 · answer #5 · answered by samira 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No i don't think you were to harsh on him it sounds like you stopped from creating a problem just keep an eye on him and don't bother with what the other parents say.
2007-04-05 16:40:03 · answer #6 · answered by chiefs fan 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do not think it was harsh at all-it worked, and it's better that you did it, versus him getting in trouble and going to juvenile hall.
More parents need to intervene like you. You did the right thing!
2007-04-06 04:15:04 · answer #7 · answered by Lori C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a criminal viewpoint it could make experience to alleviate overcrowding in jails for non-violent offenders. As in the circumstances of Ms. Lindsay Lohann or Pairs Hilton and different celebrities who've been given "abode Arrest" of their lawsuits. Such "punishments" are generally given via judges to those which at the instant are not considered a danger to the customary public protection. From a private viewpoint i've got self belief the courtroom equipment could stick to the philosophy of television cop Baretta. "in case you may not do the time...do not do the crime"! in case you're convicted of a criminal offense, your status in existence or your seems shouldn't shop you out of reformatory. Politicians, celebrities and entertainers or somebody from an impoverished community could all be taken care of alike. If justice is definitely blind, it is going to be completely blind with the intention to be honest.
2016-10-02 06:13:06 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I think you did what needed to be done. It worked! Good for you. I think people who have yet to walk in your shoes are the quickest to judge. Keep your chin up you are an inspiration!
I'm betting your son will REALLY think about his actions now. He knows you mean business. At some point he'll thank you!
2007-04-05 19:14:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It apparently worked, so who are they to criticize? I admire you for having the courage to do what your son needed. Many children act out to get their parents' attention, to test their love. Believe it or not, a child feels more loved when we go to the trouble to discipline.
2007-04-05 17:08:18 · answer #10 · answered by Patsy A 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋