My sister and I have't spoken in months due to rift that was caused by her and her boyfriend. It was bad and hurtful enough for me to want to cut her out of my life for the time being. Well, low and behold she is now pregnant. Just looking for some opinions on how I should handle this. Should I pretend everything is okay for a new babies sake. And additional question. I hate the babies father. Like if he died tomorrow I'd laugh, kind of hate him. How do I deal with that in conjunction with my neice or nephew. This is a new experience for me so I'm not sure what's what. Thanks for all you help.
Ps. I'm not an ordinarily mean or hateful person. But he's a drug addict and on welfare so maybe you can see what I mean. He's also a mean son of a *****. And trying to convince her to leave him isn't going to work. It's been tried buy multiple family members and she's an adult so we don't get any say in her life.
2007-04-05 16:10:27 · 6 answers · asked by korngoddess1027 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Forgive her for the rift. Don't pretend that everything is OK, make it OK. The first step often is swallowing your pride. Family is very important, especially when there's a new baby. Remember, blood is thicker than water. In the long run, it's your sister (and other family) that you can still talk to when all your friends are gone, can call in an emergency, and count on to be there for all of life's ups and downs.
You can be an enormous help to her and the baby simply by being there for her. Tell her that you love her, and though you dislike her partner, you will respect her. Tell bluntly that you don't like him, and you seriously think she'd be better without him, but you are still her sister, and that you will ALWAYS be there for her and she can talk to you without fear of judgment. Listen to whatever she has to say, and don't don't criticize. If you feel you must offer your opinion, try to do it politely and diplomatically. Follow these steps correctly, and the trust between you (and your entire relationship) will improve, so that when the s*** does hit the fan with her boyfriend (which it probably will soon, it sounds like), she can be comfortable turning to you.
After the baby is born, it will be a difficult time for her (especially if there's trouble with the dad), and make sure to be there for her more than ever. Do simple things, such as bringing over something for her to eat, do some dishes, or watch the baby while she takes a shower. Or even just sit down and chat. As a young woman who recently had a baby who's father sounds similar, I assure you that she will need a friend now more than ever. Try to ignore the dad. Don't be rude to him, but there's no reason you have to be nice either. Do it for the sake of your sister, the baby, and the whole family. Also, do it for yourself, and the rich, rewarding relationships you will have with your sister and niece/nephew for the rest of your lives.
2007-04-05 18:17:05 · answer #1 · answered by typeogirl999 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really think you should try to resolve this issue with your sister and put it behind you. Maybe you could talk or write her a letter about your feelings and that you are ready to move on and be sisters again. You will want to be a part of your neice or nephews life and there's no need to hold a grudge forever, especially with your sister. Be the bigger person and see how she responds. The relationship you are trying to fix is between you and your sister. Unfortunately the guy she chose is a loser, but she made that decision. Don't hold that against her. Be there for each other before something happens that you will regret. Forgiveness is a freeing experience. I wish you the best of luck and hope you get things worked out. You will be glad you did in the long run.
2007-04-05 16:20:08 · answer #2 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate only hurts your heart. It does nothing to the one you hate. Your in a tough situation. Mend what you can with your sister, she's probably gonna need you more than ever. Let her know you don't condone her choice and that you want nothing to do with him. Try to make the grass look greener on your side of the fence without throwing any garbage on her side. Don't put her in a position to continually defend him, she'll start believing her own lies. The only thing you can really do is be around and ready to help her pick up the pieces. Good Luck
2007-04-05 16:31:22 · answer #3 · answered by Smilinez 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Apologize for the fight even if it was not fault. Let the rift go, tell her you still don't trust the boyfriend. She will always be your sister and let her know that you still love and care for her. Don't get into leaving the guy she will back him up in a heartbeat. She might end up and realize the deal and all her bridges are burnt. Try to have minimum contact with the guy.
The baby needs all the love s/he can get.
2007-04-05 16:24:39 · answer #4 · answered by mamacow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-02 06:12:51 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love her, don't leave her. Hopefully, she'll come around.
2007-04-05 17:50:20 · answer #6 · answered by monalisa_2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋