I am depressed, does anyone have some funny jokes?

Question

I am sad :[ . can u guys or girls tell me some funni jokes to cheer me up?

Answer 1

A man walking on the sidewalk noticed Little Johnny was a block ahead wearing a red fireman's hat and sitting in a red wagon. It appeared that the wagon was being pulled slowly by a large black Labrador Retriever.

When he got closer to the lad, he noticed that Little Johnny had a rope tied around the dog's testicles, which probably accounted for why the dog was walking so gingerly.

Smiling, he spoke to the little boy, "That's really a nice fire engine you have there, son. But I'll bet the dog would pull you faster if you tied that rope around his neck."

"Yeah," Johnny replied, "but then I wouldn't have a siren."

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The kindergarteners were now in the first grade. Their teacher wanted them to be more grown up since they were no longer in kindergarten. She told them to use grown up words instead of baby words. She then asked them to tell her what they did during the summer.

The first little one said, "I went to see my Nana."

The teacher said, "No, No, you went to see your grandmother. Use the grown up word."

The next little one said "I went for a trip on a choo-choo."

The teacher again said, "No, No, you went on a trip on a 'train.' That's the grown up word."

Then the teacher asked Little Johnny what he did during the summer. Little Johnny proudly stated that he read a book. The teacher asked what book he had read. Little Johnny puffed out his chest and in a very adult way replied, "Winnie the Sh*t."

Answer 2

Somebody say something funny! I mean this is the joke place. Don't let the lack of a quick response dim your hopes of humor. Wouldn't you know that you're on YA and you see all of these jokes all of the time and yet when you're all bummed out and need a joke they are impossible to come by. I would help but my despair is the failings I constantly have in attempts to be funny. One time I told this friend a joke and he stopped me midway and said dude it's not going to be funny. I said how do you know? Let me finish it and you might laugh. I finished the joke and he didn't even crack a grin. He just sat there nibbling on a triscuit or wheat thin or something out of a yellow box. I was forced to promise him I would never tell him another joke. By default I've extended that promise to everyone so you should feel relieved that I am keeping my promise to you (by default of course). I wish I could think of something funny in a non-joke-sort-of-way but I'm afraid my sense of humor precludes "funny" in the traditional sense. Merely as an example I share this; I think it would be funny to see Burt Reynolds without his toupee. Not to humiliate him. Not in public. I would just like him to take me in the back of a restraunt and show me how he would look. See? Now you realize why I can't share "funny" thoughts with you. Hope by now someone has sent you a joke. Have a good one.