She's 20 months old. The type of situation I am referring to is one that happened afternoon: I am sitting on the floor with my son and daughter. My 8 month old son is on the floor, laying on his back. My daughter reached down and basically clawed his face. Her thumb went in his mouth and one finger went in his eye. And then she squeezed. So I snatched her up and spanked her butt. She cried and came to me for hugs and kisses. I comforted her and then made her kiss him and be gentle. I told her why I spanked her, because she hurt her brother on purpose.
Should I comfort her like that after she's been bad?
2007-04-05 14:29:20 · 21 answers · asked by BellaJ_DDils 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I think you handled your situation perfectly. Yes, you should comfort her after...she still needs to know that you love her.
The point of discipline is that a child understand what is right and what is wrong. They need to know what is expected of them (which you did), they need to know that there is a consequence (check), they need to know how to behave next time (yup) and then there needs to be an increase of love (ta da!)
You did it right, mommy! Keep up the good work!
2007-04-05 16:40:37 · answer #1 · answered by Fotomama 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Since the question you asked isn't whether or not to spank...which is your own business (although I agree with you that there are certain good reasons for spanking), I will answer the question you asked. Should you comfort your daughter when she cries after she has been punished by you? I agree that you should.
Give her a minute or two to realize the effects of the discipline and then sit next to her. Explain why she was disciplined and what the correct behavior is. Tell her how much you love her and then give her lots of hugs and kisses. This will reinforce that although you don't like the behavior, you love your daughter unconditionally. Kids need to know that they are not bad but their behavior can be and it needs to be corrected. There is nothing wrong with comforting them.
2007-04-05 23:35:29 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely!! You need to show your child that you do still love her, but just didn't like what she was doing. You are doing exactly what you need to do. After any form of discipline you should talk to them about why you did what you did, how they can avoid that again and show and tell them how much you love them. Especially when it comes to spanking. Without the comfort later your child will think that you don't like them. Take this from someone who was spanked as a child without the discussion and comfort afterwards. I have a 5 mo. old and a 2 and a half year old so I know the exact situation. You are doing the right thing and don't let anyone tell you different.
2007-04-06 19:02:28 · answer #3 · answered by ensain_angel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES!! It is great to set boundaries but it is even better to let your baby girl know that no matter what you are still her loving mama. I think you handled it perfectly, just the way I do. One difference is My daughter is 3 and her sister is 18 months, we have had a problem with biting once or twice, I do not spank my 3 year old since she understands consequences, I take away a toy or television privileges. For my 18 mth old a light tap in the hand with a firm no no seems to work. I always snuggle and kiss after a situation is resolved, I fear that if i don't, the girls may develop an insecurity about my love for them.
2007-04-06 00:22:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change the spanking to time out. The isolation and exclusion from the family for 2 minutes will probably upset her and make her understand better than the spanking. Otherwise, you did great. Once the point is across there is no reason to prolong the "mean" part.
2007-04-05 23:43:30 · answer #5 · answered by ljc1410 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I make my almost 4 y ear old daughter go to time out in her room when I punish her and I wait about 5-10 minutes before I go in and talk to her. That gives everyone time to think and not be as mad and time for them to think about what they done. I go in and tell her why it was wrong and explain why she shouldn't do it. Then I tell her I love her and give her a hug and let her know that when she is ready to say she is sorry for what she done to come and talk to me. Then I leave her room. She will come out a few minutes later after she has quit crying and wiped her face off and say she is sorry.
2007-04-06 00:58:20 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 4 y/o and a 2 y/o and a 10 month old. Those things happen all the time. My older children are boys and try to wrestle with her or give her full body hugs which could squash her. Long story short I don't cook much other than microwaveable food as I have to keep an eye on them. YOu totally did the right thing. Everybody should have been hugged in that situation.
2007-04-05 21:34:45 · answer #7 · answered by mamato3 3 · 2⤊ 4⤋
Yes. Spanked children need lots of hugs afterwords.
2007-04-06 18:31:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
She is too young to understand "hurting someone" It is your job as a parent to keep the baby safe .She is just exploring her brother. A swat on the butt on the other hand is teaching her to hit when someone does something she doesn't like. So please give her a hug and tell her you love her and her brother.
2007-04-05 21:48:08 · answer #9 · answered by weswe 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Later, a long time later. If she starts to throw a fit, ignore her. I also agree. I was a good job to explain why you punished her. But comforting her right after you punished her doesn't send a good message.
2007-04-05 23:36:06 · answer #10 · answered by kat_katty_chic 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋