I just moved into my first apartment, by myself. I have a boyfriend, and he's been staying over, which is fine with me, but I'm at work, and he has my apartment keys so he could drop off something at my place for me. However, then he went for some drinks with a buddy. He had him over, and now he's going back there with him for another drink. I dunno why, but it kinda irked me. It's my apartment, not his, shouldn't he have at least let me know, or asked?
2007-04-05 12:13:12 · 25 answers · asked by universitystudent 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Get your keys back ASAP before he turns your apartment into party central.
2007-04-05 12:18:10 · answer #1 · answered by NickyO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should he have let you know? You know he goes and has drinks with the guys, lives there at least part time and you gave him a key. It was a forgone conclusion that he would bring the guys over for drinks.
If you don't like it tell him, if he doesn't like it then you need to decide if it's a big enough deal breaker.
This is a good signal of what is to come with this guy, learn from it. He clearly is self-centered and drinks too much. Is this really what you want in a boy friend?
2007-04-05 19:23:37 · answer #2 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's what I would do:
Change the lock(cheap for a new cylinder) and wait. If he's going over there alot without you, you'll know next time he does 'cause he wont get in and odds are he'll call you to let you know something is wrong with the door lock. When that happens, explain that you felt "odd" and for security reasons had it changed.
That way you dont have to go into alot of discussion and problem with him (unless he asks for a new key) and he cant hang out without you.
If he asks for a new key, explain to him that the key was originally for emergencies, not party central. Either he'll understand or get mad, if he gets mad, he can go anytime and not come back. If he understands, well, that's one hurdle you got through ok. Relationships are uncharted territory, each one is different depending on the people involved.
2007-04-05 19:27:01 · answer #3 · answered by Ann S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he feels free to extend invitations for people to come over when you aren't home. I don't know why he feels so free with your place. Maybe it's because he thinks sense he stays there too it's just as much his as yours. Does he help with rent and household bills? First rule if you don't pay you don't stay. Even then you respect each other. If you have a problem with your b/f having people over you and he should talk about it. Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship. Good luck.
2007-04-05 19:26:41 · answer #4 · answered by TURBOSC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not overreacting. Put your foot down now, or before you know it, your boyfriend and his buddies will be there all the time, eating your food and spilling beer on your carpet.
Tell him nicely something like "I'm afraid you got the wrong impression when I gave you a copy of my key. No one is allowed in my apartment unless they ask me first."
2007-04-05 19:19:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all...he's kind of like a girl roommate. He has gotten too comfortable with you and feels that this behavior is acceptable. If I were you, I would let him know now because the long you wait the more it will eat you up until you just blow up. When the situation could have been handled a lot sooner and calmer. Good luck, and I really do strongly suggest putting your foot down.
2007-04-05 19:24:25 · answer #6 · answered by bAmA cHiCk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He crossed a boundary, and if you dont communicate, it will happen again. He should have ASKED, and not assumed it would be fine with you.
Talk to him about it, explain how you feel, and if he doesnt comply, take the keys back.
Dont let this small thing pass, it will grow into a bigger annoyance and continue to affect your relationship negatively.
Good luck, sweetie.
2007-04-05 19:18:19 · answer #7 · answered by love anyway 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is invasion of your privacy and your apartment. He should have asked you if it would have been ok to invite his friend to YOUR PLACE, not let you know but asked. I would speak with him about this and tell him how you did not like this and in the future he needs to ask your permission first.
2007-04-05 19:18:35 · answer #8 · answered by bbinqueens33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got all the peliminary makings of a complete loser...Let him know the rules early before he takes it for granted and does it all the time....better yet? Take back your damn key!
2007-04-05 19:18:26 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your not willing to share whatever yours then you shouldn't give him an extra key, because the mere fact you gave that, he was given permission to do anything outside of your premises. better talk to him and tell all your concern regarding inviting his friends. good luck
2007-04-05 19:19:50 · answer #10 · answered by taurust_girl27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋