If the wedding is about the bride and groom why do they HAVE to cater to the guests?

Question

If a wedding is the bride and groom's day, why are there so many who think that the couple should cater to the guests' wants?
Why should they have to play music that all of their guests know are not their style?
Aren't the guests there to celebrate the happiness the couple has brought to each others' lives?

The only people coming into town are staying with relatives... and as for the new clothes thing, I know for a fact most are not and we aren't having groomsmen or bridesmaids, so no one even has to pay for that!

who's putting out money? WE ARE PAYING!!! It's their prerogative to bring a gift, no one told them to!

Answer 1

it should absolutely be about the bride and groom. sometimes it seems like guests keep getting pickier and pickier.

Answer 2

The reception is meant to be a celebration for the bride and groom - put on FOR THEM not by them. The host is responsible to cater to all of the guests, including the bride and groom who are the honored guests. Now we run into a mix up today because most couples are both the HONORED GUESTS and the HOSTS all at the same time!!!

As the hosts of the event, it doesn't matter that you are paying, you are still responsible for being a polite and kind host, and to make the time enjoyable for the guests - not just for you.

Of course, there is one thing brides tend to forget about as well - weddings are NOT just about you! Weddings effect your families, your friends, and your community. It is a celebration that is centered on the couple but is not ONLY about the couple.

You are right about one thing though - the guests bring gifts has nothing to do with it. Guests are not required to bring a gift - in fact, it is considered quite rude to in anyway indicate that a gift is expected or anticipated from a wedding guest. So, no matter what gift they bring, if any, you as the host are still responsible for making sure that their time is enjoyable and pleasant.

And NO - guests have not gotten pickier! If you go back 20-30 years, you will find that weddings used to be MUCH stricter and brides today get away with doing a lot more about themselves and a lot less for the guests then they used to when etiquette and politeness came before personal gratification.

Answer 3

We invite guests to the wedding so they can celebrate the union of the couple. Guests attend the ceremony to witness the vows, then later at the reception they celebrate the marriage with the couple.
The bridal couple IS host to all of their guests at the wedding, and as a good host, it is their duty to try make everyone comfortable and have a good time, to the extent that they can. That includes providing choices for food and drink, etc. When families come to my home for a meal, I don't blast my favourite ska music, but might put on something more genial to the occasion.
You are wrong thinking that the wedding is about the bride and groom only. The wedding is for family and friends to celebrate WITH the bride and groom. If you wanted it only about you, you would be just going to a jp or courthouse on your own, and have that be it. This is totally a matter of you not being mature and being selfish. Don't know where you got your misunderstanding.
Good luck to you, and especially to the groom to be.

Answer 4

i'm having a themed wedding, because i am a period reenactor, so the music will be nothing that many people there are interested in. for a moment i was worried about this, but then i thoguht, you know what, who cares?! they don't have to stay the whole time if they don't want to, and i'll be too happy with my husband to really notice if they don't like the music. it's your day, play what music you want, have what food you want, the guests are exactly that, guests. no one is there saying go to this wedding or else. if they think they will not like it, than they should decline the invitation. they are there to support and celebrate the couple, because he couple loves them and wants them to celebrate their relationship. if that measn the guests have to put up with country music when they like rock, then oh well. they are there to say i love you two, good luck to the couple. the way some of the people are saying is that the party is about the guests. while to an extent you can't be totally oblivious to guests (remember you do want them to stay and enjoy themselves) the wedding is for the couple, not for the guests. perhaps have some silly games that can keep people entertained. we're having a mock joust at our wedding. for some reason mild violence seems to amuse most people...

Answer 5

If the boyfriend replaced into already invited, you may no longer get rid of the invite, esp if his gf is interior the bridal social gathering. in case you do exclude him, you would be frightening the gf and commencing each and every thing off on the incorrect foot. The day is relating to the bride AND groom yet in addition it is a social gathering for the visitors. do no longer make the errors of doubtless ruining a friendship and a extensive day over a remark some catering agency. The bride would desire to upward push above and concentration on greater substantial issues, like the surely rite.

Answer 6

Anyone who has ever been to a medium-large wedding knows what a guest has to go through to be there - travel, buying new clothes, hotel room, gifts, etc.
It is the bride and groom's day, but it is nice to show your guests how much you appreciate them being there to share it with you. Playing a few songs you don't like doesn't seem like a big deal, and it would be well worth it if it will make others happy.

Answer 7

I think there needs to be a compromise. You should be able to have some things that are yours but you do have to think of your guests. I think the best part about the reception is that you are joining all of your friends and family together. Yes, they are celebrating you and your new life with your partner but they came to wish you well and most likely brought a gift. It seems to me that they should be able to have a good time while they are there. Besides, you're not going to want everyone having a bad time, right? If you want to play hip hop and everyone wants oldies, mix the two. You don't have to be a doormat to what everyone wants, but try to keep in mind your family and friends while you're planning.

Good luck and congrats!

Answer 8

I think it should be a happy occasion with family and friends; i agree with part of your sentiment; too often the guests forget WHOSE day it is and WHAT they are celebrating, and, from my experience, if there is a lot of nonsense, it usually involves the planning of the reception, etc. It would be nice if most wedding celebrations were like those in the movies like the Godfather and the Deer Hunter.

Answer 9

The wedding reception is of course for the guests to celebrate the wedding with them. That is why you try to have a variety of music , so there is something for every one. If I were invited to a wedding and I heard all the music was going to be only one kind I would not go to the wedding because the music might not be to my taste or to my husbands taste.If my dad were there and I want to dance with him I would like to dance a waltz because I know at his age it is about the only thing he can do .Due to his health .All the moder music is for the young and at weddings you have all different ages

Answer 10

The people you invite to your wedding, are your guests that you have invited to celebrate your special day with you. As your guest, you should do everything you can to include them in the celebration. With the kind of attitude you have, why have a reception? There's no reason to entertain people, that you don't want to. Just get married and call it a day.

Answer 11

You don't have to cater to anybody. I'm not sure where you got that idea. Traditionally the family of the bride will throw a reception, but this concept has been scewed a bit since women are getting married later in life and other reasons. You have what you want, it is ALL ABOUT YOU. Don't let anybody tell you different.

It is your day.