Do I Have Bad Conversational skills?

Question

Whenever i think that i messed up a conversation with someone important, i say it over in my head. sometimes when i say it over in my head i actually vocalize what i "wanted" to say in the conversation. Is this bad that i think so deeply about certain conversations?

Im always looking for the real meaning of what people say, and it would be nice if i could get any pointers when talking to people that are important to me. any pointers?

Answer 1

Read plenty of books and practice talking to others other than your own friends. Do it with strangers, you have nothing to lose since you'll never see them again. You're just feeling a little embarrassed because you desire a perfect speech and worry about the future relationship with them. Reading will help raise your confidence and knowledge of vocabulary; understanding and being able to utilize those words. I have a reoccurance of conversations in my head as well. I even talk to myself sometimes. It's perfectly normal. You can learn the real meaning through experience. Once you say something, don't worry about it, don't lament the past. What's said is done. Remind yourself what you wanted to say, so you could improve for the future.

Answer 2

Going over conversations in your mind after the fact, I think, is a pretty normal thing to do if it was an important conversation. My advise would be not to think too hard though. I wouldn't keep trying to find hidden meanings behind what someone says. For one thing most people aren't trying to be that complicated, they are just talking and for another thing, if someone is sending hidden messages, over time you will know what they are trying to say.
If a woman you are interested in asks you if you are seeing anyone she may be interested in you too and is hinting around for a date. Other than those kind of circumstances, I think you should just take people at their word and stop trying to read too much into what they are saying to you. You can drive yourself crazy doing that, and may be completely off base to boot.

Answer 3

I'm afraid it is all about practice. Get some feedback from your friends. I was downright antisocial in highschool, and it took a lot of work to get past that (and to get my social skills up to par). Just get as much practice out of your comfort zone as possible, ask about what you can improve on. It can be awkward and annoying, but in the end, learning to talk and be social is one of the most useful skills you can learn.

Answer 4

I completely trust Bo Dean. human beings like to chat approximately themselves, and being a reliable communicator incorporates being a reliable listener. locate those which you think of are reliable conversationalists and pay attention heavily to the questions they ask and how they proceed conversations. while you're in someones area, pay interest to what they embody themselves with and attempt to study greater approximately them by way of asking approximately pictures, activities, hobbies etc. training makes perfect.

Answer 5

Just be your self! Talk the way you want. I dont think you should worry about what you said or if you said it right or in the right tone or voice... It dosent matter as long as your being yourself.

Answer 6

think before you speak .and if you really don't understand what is being said . ask to repeat it or explain it. it isn't a bad thing to want to be able to talk . converse with others. it means you are interested..