what do you do if you like someone but you find their appearance a real turn-off?

Question

i mean, you get on really well but you JUST DON'T FANCY them?
i know looks are not everything but does anyone know what imean?
can this be overcome or are you better off "just friends"
and how do you let themknow without hurting them?

Answer 1

Maaaybe. I think you need to be attracted to someone for a healthy sexual relationship, but that with time, you can start to see someone's inner beauty, even if they're not conventionally "beautiful".

Answer 2

The thing is there is no way to tell someone you aren't interested without hurting their feelings. Period. Nothing you can come up with is going to feel like anything other than rejection. So in most cases I'd say you might as well just be honest. However, sometimes situations require you to be more kind and less honest - this is one of those times. You can't tell this person "you look a mess and I'm not attracted to you" - well you can but that would be way harsh. Just tell them that while you are flattered, that you don't see them in that way. You consider them a friend and value that friendship and the only way to maintain the friendship is by "not" dating them. What you want to do is think about how you'd feel if it were you and someone was coming over to turn you down. What could they say that would hurt the least? Good luck.

Answer 3

I think without some kind of physical attraction its never going to be more then just friends anyway, it wont work. You cant really overcome it, the only way to overcome something like that is in time being so close, and all, but really if there isnt a physical attraction just tell her you love being with her, what you guys have means so much to you, but you just dont want to chance messing up the friendship by taking things further. You need for things to stay as "just friends" its worth too much to mess it up by dating. She should understand that, and be ok hearing it that way.

Answer 4

there is nothing I can tell you that you don't already know. What you and this person share, whatever it may be...bottom line is ... It is what it is, and it ain't what it ain't. You can not force yourself to have physical attraction to anyone, that isn't fair to either of you. And if you are truely friends then you both will totally understand that fact, respect it and keep it real. If something happens that feelings are hurt, then that person is responsible for their own selfishness and should not play the blame game. Hard thing to do once emotions are envolved but definately can be overcome

Answer 5

You're better off just friends - you can't have a romantic relationship with someone if you never want to kiss them.

This can be overcome in time, in some cases, once you get so used to their looks that you only see their expressions and their grace and their personality, instead of individual features, but this doesn't happen often.

Just tell them; "I really like you as a person; I admire you so much and I love hanging out with you, but I just don't feel that romantic spark. I hope we can stay friends." (But only offer that if you really plan on being friends with them.)

Answer 6

Well, speaking from the other side of this, if its not something major(like being a little out of shape is a minor thing) then its no problem really, but if it is a major thing then you should just let him down gently but honestly. I personally would be a certain someone's physical type if i were in better shape so thats a good example of a minor thing. The major things is like when they only have like one or two things or less that would be your type but the rest not.

Answer 7

I know what you mean because I had a bf before who only likes to wear army pants tucked into his military boots and everything in black. I tried to change the way he dresses but he resented it. We broke up not because of the way he dresses up but because we don't have the same interests. So if I were you just tell him straight that you like him a lot as a friend. I've told several of my male friends that after they dropped hints on me and they are still my friends. If he stops being a friend to you then he was never a friend. It's sad but life goes on.

Answer 8

I had this before.. and I tried to make it work... but ultimately if you arent turned on by them.. it will never work.

I wouldnt say im not attracted to you, thats somewhat hurtful.
you may end up looking like a jerk in this no matter what.. I dont know how else to put it. But it would be easier to say I see you as more of a friend than a partner.

Answer 9

if you like someone but you find their appearance a real turn-off, then that person would become a friend, becuase in order for the 2 of you to be more than friends, you must feel a certain physical attraction, its just the way it is

Answer 10

Just stay friends. Trust me no one needs a shallow person to be anything more than friends with them. You don't tell them how unappealing you find them. It must be hard to be so perfect in a world of non perfect people. I bet everything about you is just great. Not!