How can a Christian be so unethical? What I should do since they are such hypocrites?

Question

My husband had cheated on me with other women even before our cohabitation but I chose to forgive him then. We have been married for about 6 years when he forced me to leave our home when I initiated separation with him for he has been abusive and having an affair with a married woman who worked for my husband's company even when we're cohabitating. The woman divorced with her husband a couple of years ago and has been giving my husband a lot of pressure to leave me. The woman is so shameful to sleep with my husband when I was away from home. She is a Christian and goes to church every week. My husband had plotted the separation, made excuses that I had caused the marriage breakdown and ruined his health and work as well as planning asset transfer to avoid his financial support to me since I am with chronic illness. I am so deeply hurt by his false allegations on me and his pretending to be good guy infront of others whom I have no chance to explain. I have been suicidal

Answer 1

Religion is a poor predictor of morality. It also has little real bearing on your relationship with your husband, or your husband's relationship with anybody else.

If your husband wishes to leave you, then that's because of a problem with your relationship. It happens, and it is not necessarily anybody's fault.

You have to look honestly at your relationship with your husband. Then you have to determine whether it really is worth it to pursue your husband further or just let him go.

It might also help to actually talk with your husband, instead of just Yahoo answers. Lack of communication is the prime cause of breakups. It takes a lot of work to prevent that from happening.

Answer 2

There are unethical and cruel people of all religions, Christianity included. I am very sorry for your situation. The death of a marriage is difficult enough without the added insult of another woman and her indecency.

Your husband and this woman deserve each other, to be quite honest. Let her have him. If he was unkind, unfaithful and abusive to you, what makes her think he'll change for her? The best predictor for future behavior is past behavior. (I'm not a Dr. Phil fan by any means, but I do think this is the most intelligent statement he has ever made.)

If you are suicidal then by all means, get professional help immediately! If you can not afford this, as your situation seems to suggest, you can find low income mental health assistance by calling your local health department or a local hospital psychiatric ward. Both can provide assistance in a professional and private manner.

You do not need to suffer alone. You seem to be turned off to Christianity, something I can completely understand. But you must know that just because someone goes to church or calls themself a "Christian" does not make it true. It may sound a little trite, but God has not abandoned you. "Throw your burden" upon God, and He will not abandon you.

Just remember that this is not your doing, and that this is just one chapter in a book that isn't finished being written. You are still alive and can rebuild a better life for yourself with someone who will truly value you.

I wish nothing but the best for you :0)

Answer 3

First of all let me just say how sorry I am to hear that your husband has done this to you. No one deserves to be treated that way!
You need to remember that more often than not people claim to have beliefs but don't neccessarily follow them down to the letter. It's easy for people to point the finger in anothers direction because blaming someone else for your unhappiness appears much easier than actually facing them yourself. As far as being a true Christian is concerned, in my opinion, you cannot sit there and say that 'I am Christian' but refuse to follow it's laws and guides, clearly cheating falls under a non-Christian belief. I could care less how often you go to church, that's not what defines true belief.
You (yes I mean you) need to feel better about who you are and believe that you don't need your 'husbands' unfaithfullness in your life, believe that you deserve better and that such a thing exists (and trust me it does!) These things really do hurt (my mom suffered the same situation not long ago) and it'll take some time for you to really heal from that kind of betrayal, be patient with yourself, talk to people who love you and encourage you. You will overcome this, hang in there. There are many people out there who care for you, and even though I've never met you I really really believe that you can survive! *hugs*

Answer 4

"The woman is so shameful to sleep with my husband when I was away from home. She is a Christian and goes to church every week"

NOT ALL who go to church and professes the name of Christ are not truly saved or truly Christian. You only have to look at the blatant, inconsiderate, perpetual sin that dominates a person’s existence to see that. In fact, Satan himself has read and knows the bible 10 times better than the adverage Christian. So please don't blame the entire Christian church for the deeds of one who obviously either doesn't allow the Holy Spirit to guide and direct her life or has no salvation at all! The Christian church as a whole is not hypocritical. We are not perfect people. But then, who is? However, when Christ is earnestly and truly in our lives a change happens so that things like husbands sleeping with other men’s wives and vice versa do not happen. I'm sorry that you are going through this difficult time but I hope you also realize that your husband is more to blame than that shameful woman. He is the one who is supposed to protect and love you against harlots and other things outside of your marriage. But he's gotten selfish and allowed sex, not that woman, get him out there in a place where a married man should never be. I hope and pray that everything works out to your benefit weather you stay married or not but please don't strike a cold hearted blow at a group of people (Christians) who would sooner pray for and with you over your circumstance than be that shameful thing your husband is laying with.

Answer 5

I am sad to hear about your situation. Not all Christians are hypocrites... just as not all women are home wreckers. Please don't kill yourself over this man... find another reason for living.

Your ex-husband [he is going to be an ex...right?] is a manipulator and there is not a thing you can do, just believe in yourself. You should not have to explain yourself to anyone. Probably wouldn't help anyway and you will be more frustrated. People who are close to you will not believe his stories, that is all that matters.

Be happy ....for surely you are better off without this man. What has happened here casts a bad reflection on your ex-husband, not yourself, nor the Church.

Good luck Dear... May you be Well
Evie

Answer 6

I am very sorry that all this has happened to you. But can you really assume that ALL Christians are hypocritical, from the behavior of one woman (and maybe some others you've had contact with)?
I do apologize for those who claim the title of "Christian" but don't live it. However, I do at least make a good attempt to live a Christ-like life. So do many other Christians I know.
I've seen hypocrisy as well. One of the main pillars of the church I attended from when I was nearly six, until just after I turned nine, was a child molester. I understand hypocrisy VERY well.

That woman that you speak of will have her reward. Let God judge her...and believe me, if she doesn't change and REPENT, God will judge her VERY harshly.

Answer 7

Just because someone goes to church doesn't make them Christian. That's probably just a security blanket for her - to make her feel as though she is saved and going to be in heaven.

Your husband is in the wrong. It does take two for a marriage to work or fail - but in no way is your husband's affair your fault.

Never mistake the claims of Christianity for those who are really Christian. The fact that this woman had an affair for a long period of time and encouraged him to leave you despite his promise to you says right there that she is not a Christian. She is disregarding the words of Jesus on marriage.

If you are feeling suicidal find someone to confide in. There are even hotlines you can call to find help. And the good thing is they don't have to know who you are, sometimes that helps. If you feel an uncontrolable urge to hurt yourself you can check yourself into a hospital for a voluntary 72 hours. It is confidential and no one has to know you are there. Find a good therapist if you are not at risk right now - just to have someone to talk to that isn't going to judge you.

Answer 8

I feel for you. It doesn't mean all Christians are bad. You cant change them anyway. People have to change themselves. You would be doing yourself a favor if you forgive them all. I am not religious. You will find hypocrites of all beliefs. Please learn from everything you can from the situation and be greatful for the lesson and you still have your life. Find beauty in your life somewhere, even if you have to create it. watch comedy. Listen to Betoven and Bach and look at beautiful art. Surround yourself with beauty. Focus on it, feel it. Direct your mind away from the things you don't want. Focus on what you really want. As for the suicide. You will reincarnate to start all over again in a new body. That is too much work if you ask me. And don't say you don't believe in reincarnation.....cause that's what said last time!

Answer 9

My best guess is, none of you are really Christian. Church? Anyone can go to church. Just because I go to a garage once in awhile certainly doesn't make me a Chevrolet, either. This "cohabitating", or let us call it for what it is, adultery and fornication, hints that no Christian is involved. Get right with God and your troubles seem much smaller. Good luck, anyway. God still loves you.

Answer 10

Please don't judge all Christians on the actions of one. In 2 Tim 3: 5 it describes people in the last days as "having a form of godly devotion but proving false to it's power" There are many that put on a good show as to what they want others to believe,fortunately you know the truth about this person. My mom just went through something very like what you are if you need someone to talk to feel free to e-mail me..I can let you know how she handled it.