My GF of 4 years has a secret ( I think something happened to her before i met her, maybe when she was a young girl) she told her step dad to tell me this information ( maybe she feels more comfortable him telling this, I dont know ). He told me that there are 2 things he wants to go over with me about her. He told me that onece i know, it will show him if i really love her or not. I have to wait till saturday to find out what it is. A little background about her. ( she is really nice, her real dad left when she was real young 2-3 yrs. old., she lived in mexico city till she came to the usa when whe was 17, we met when whe was 20, where both now 24. ) what do you think can be the two issues?? a long time ago she mentioned that she wanted to tell me something but did not tell me anything about what it could be because she said i was not going to understand. I hope is nothing bad, but whatever it could be im on her side 110%. thanks ( i know this has nothing to do with religion sorry )
2007-04-05 07:38:05 · 19 answers · asked by henry_o01 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Anybody's answer here would just be a guess. You will have to wait for the second shoe to fall.
I would make a couple of suggestions. Wear your poker face to the meeting and sleep on all the information before you make a decision. This is obviously something your GF is concerned about. She will give you the time you need to sort it out. If she tries to rush you, shut her down hard the first time and move on if she tries it a second time.
Remember, once the Jeannie is out of the bottle there is no putting it back. What ever it is, it is something you will have to live with for a lifetime. Make sure you can do that before you commit to any continuation of the relationship. It is far better to walk now than to keep something bottled up for the rest of your life.
Good luck to all involved...
2007-04-05 07:50:18 · answer #1 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The following are links to information that can help you deal with 'this 'unknown', & beyond:
EMPATHY--Key to Kindness and Compassion
- What IS Empathy
- Scriptural Examples of Empathy
- How to Cultivate Empathy
- Empathy Helps in Christian Activities
- Cultivate Fellow Feeling
http://watchtower.org/library/w/2002/4/15/article_01.htm
What Has Happened to Love? :
- The desire to be loved
- Why True Love Is Hard to Find
- How You Can Find True Love
http://watchtower.org/e/200603/article_01.htm
Are You Thinking About Marriage?
- What Is Needed for a Successful Marriage?
http://watchtower.org/library/w/1999/2/15/article_01.htm
Wholesome Communication--A Key to a Good Marriage
- What Wholesome Communication Involves
- Obstacles to Wholesome Communication
- How to Promote Wholesome Communication
http://watchtower.org/library/w/1999/7/15a/article_01.htm
Always Respect her Privacy!
2007-04-05 14:47:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she Hispanic? If so, there are some possibilities based upon her cultural heritage. She may be technically illegitimate. That's still a big deal in Catholic countries.
She may have been molested as a child. She may even have been raped and be no longer virgin, which is also still a big deal in Catholic cultures.
Or it could simply be that her family sees itself as insufficiently well-off to provide a dowry. Some old Spanish lineage families consider that a real bar to mariage.
At any rate, you'll find out soon enough.
If you love her, these things, even if they ALL be true, should make no difference except to make you want even more to protect and cherish her, to heal the hurts of the past and make your future together bright and joyful.
God be with you both.
2007-04-05 14:46:23 · answer #3 · answered by Granny Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can never really know what the two issues are until you have the conversation..I mean they can range from not bad at all to really bad issues. The "what-ifs" ruin relationships all the time because you start assuming things and fabricating all type of situations to try and gain control from this. It sounds like you really care for her..so it shouldn't matter what the issues are..although, I agree with you that all this work-up to the discussion can be unsettling. If you remain open-minded about things and prepare yourself to really listen to what your girl and her step-dad have to say, then the conversation should go well and everything should be fine.
2007-04-05 14:49:00 · answer #4 · answered by genova32 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that maybe she is an illegal alien, or, that she was raped or molested when she was young.
Those are about the two worst scenarios that you can have.
If she is an illegal alien, then you will have to go through customs to get married, and that will involve a lot of paperwork and she may have to go back to mexico in order to process everything on the "square".
If she was molested, then proper councelling will help with that, and if there was damage done, then she may not be able to bear children and that may be a hard thing for her to bear and she may be shamed by it, though, none of its her fault, women bear stigmas and shame on certain things, that we as males cant understand.
I wish you well...
Jesse
2007-04-05 14:45:00 · answer #5 · answered by x 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wrong it is about spirituality. Jesus died on the cross for our sins even hers. Seriously if you love her you will forgive her and help her move past the obvious shame and embarrassment she is feeling. She was never intended to carry those things through life. This is a very spiritual question because the heart of it lies in her spirit as well as yours.
There is a story about cracked pots and how with out all the cracks and breaks life gives us we would not have any places for the love of Jesus to shine through to the outside. The cracks define us, they are our ministry, He will call us in our weaknesses not our strengths.
Love her and pray for ears to hear His words and an open heart to receive the information after it has been filtered through God's hands.
2007-04-05 14:48:57 · answer #6 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quite honestly wait. Keep yoru business to yoru self dont post things like this that abuses her trust in you and deal with it. Get yourself some backbone as life is full of suprprises, your girlfriends being one of a whole load of ones some that will lift you and others that will knock you down.
Wait, get told and deal with it, you have a brain think for yourself.
2007-04-05 14:48:38 · answer #7 · answered by simon b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must wait and listen to what she is going to tell you. It is easy to assume a million things but it is only she who knows what it is about. So you better listen. It is good that you tell her you love her and will be there for her always,
2007-04-05 14:49:07 · answer #8 · answered by â?¥â?ªâ?¥Anneâ?¥â?ªâ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are being a very attentive person. Just try not to project what it is. But prepare yourself to tears. If it's something that a counsellor could help her with, and you, then I would start that immediately.
2007-04-05 14:47:36 · answer #9 · answered by Christian Sinner 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it could be many things... maybe she was raped and has a child by that event... maybe she was married and is still but is in hiding... maybe she cannot have children... maybe she has criminal history that will remain with her forever... it could be many things... but guessing what they could be isnt going to prepare you in any way.... you need to decide what you can and what you cannot handle.... and be prepared for anything when you talk to her step dad. spend time with God asking Him to give you strength and understanding... and to keep you focused on truth.
2007-04-05 14:44:21 · answer #10 · answered by livinintheword † 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋