My niece, at around age 28, started confiding in me that her father (& my brother) had molested her since as far back as she could remember. She remembered this after entering counseling. I immediately believed her because he had molested me as a child and I never told. I felt so much guilt over what happened to her. After about a year or so of listening to her, and after she confronted her father, I decided to tell the rest of the family about what had happened to me as a child and she told them about what had happend to her.
Instead of believing us, some of my family calls us crazy and liars. The revelation of this was supposed to be cathartic for victims, but instead it has only added to my pain.
2007-04-05 07:20:16 · 9 answers · asked by TexasDolly 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
go to a lawyer and see if you are able to still press charges..if not this could happen to another younger family member..do not allow those who do not believe you get you down..you two need to stick together and seperate yourselves from them..try to see if you can still take him to court over this..he must pay for what he did..
2007-04-08 05:08:54 · answer #1 · answered by mindy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel. Im a victim of both molestation and a rape. My father acted as if I deserved both of them. It was a hard time for me. It still is. But your family is in the denial stage of things, this happens alot when the person has always been in good standings with the family and has shown no signs of being strange around children. There is unfortunatley nothing you can do to change your families mind. I'm glad that your neice is getting counseling. It's the best thing for her, but I think you as well should because no one should have to hold that inside. Always know you will always feel like a victim but if you don't look in the rearview mirror you can live an amazing life. Good luck and message me if you ever need anything.
2007-04-05 09:45:44 · answer #2 · answered by ash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to tell someone because he knows what he's doing is wrong and it's unfair that you especially feel you should take it because he's your grandpa and "you don't want to hurt him". He IS hurting you, physically and mentally. He's older and should know that it's wrong. Tell an adult in your family that you may trust most or talk to a friend/someone you trust/counselor if you must. Sooner you do so then you won't have to deal with any *greater pain later on. Please do it. It doesn't matter the age hun. What your grandpa is doing is wrong regardless. You're a minor too. Nobody should be doing this to anyone. Best of luck.
2016-05-17 23:32:53 · answer #3 · answered by vonda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to sit down with family members one on one and tell them that you are being serious about what happened to you and that it is a very painful fact of your past that they need to understand and accept. They need to make sure that these people are not around any more young family members so that the abuse will not continue on. I think that maybe you could both use some counceling as well to help you through this whole process. My thoughts are with you both, and even though I am not your family I am really sorry that this happened to you both. I hope you can find peace about this whole thing.
2007-04-05 07:48:29 · answer #4 · answered by hr4me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for you and your niece. You both didn't deserve what happened to you. Congratulations for having the strength of character to expose him.
What happened to your niece is absolutely not your fault. Look at the reception you both got when you did tell...it wouldn't have been any different when you were younger.
I'm so sorry that no-one believed you, although, not entirely surprised. They're going to need time to come to terms with this. Whether you and your niece give them that time is up to you.
Don't regret telling them, even though it is painful now, it will lessen as time goes on.
Good luck to you and your niece. You have each other for support, and others will come around.
2007-04-05 07:41:11 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Tiilynn♥ 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A very dear friend of mine was in the same situation, and i don't know if the family accepted it or not. Ignore your family, molesting a child is ILLEGAL if you really care about your neice the best thing to do is just to ignore your family (who no offence, sound like a bunch of jerks) and call the police and get a good lawyer. I hope this helps!
2007-04-05 07:57:40 · answer #6 · answered by lizinifty 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those that "did not believe," were also probably molested and did not want to tell what had happened to them.
Next time confront them and ask if they were also molested.
2007-04-05 07:25:21 · answer #7 · answered by newyorkgal71 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
They do this because they don't want to deal with it. We deny when we don't want to face the truth because it's too painful. So we bury it.
You and your niece will be okay. The seed has been planted. I bet no one leaves small children alone with him again, no matter what they say they believe or don't believe.
2007-04-05 07:53:02 · answer #8 · answered by Stefka 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why do you think they say they didn't? cause its jail time. that is why. you need to get them into jail go to the authorities and get rid of him
2007-04-08 16:58:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋