For Army Wives.....?

Question

What are things I should stay away from on a base? As in, I've read and heard alot about the "rumor mills"...as a rule of thumb, are these certain people or are they just anyone? Also I've read that once the guys are gone, that lots of wives cheat, blah blah blah, and I don't want stuff being spread about me that isn't true. I know this isn't every wife, and I'm not saying that, just wanting to know what groups to stay away from. Hope this makes sense, haven't slept all night! Thanks!

Answer 1

Mind your own business and dont participate in gossip. If you have friends that gossip TO you, they will gossip ABOUT you. Also, many FRGs are rumor mills. All they want to talk about is which wives are doing what and which husband "over there" is cheating. *yawn* Not into that. So I dont go to FRG meetings and rely on my husband to keep me informed about what is going on. The only commo I welcome from FRG is when they want to tell me when my husband is coming home because that is not info that he is allowed to share with me from there (OPSEC).

I have never had a rumor started about me because nobody even knows who I am. I wont be seen at clubs or other people's house. I keep ALL my parts covered (you know you can tell whose husbands have left by the hoochie clothes they wear to the commissary). I dont make eye contact with soldiers. Just keep my head down and push forward. 2 deployments down, next one coming soon.

I would just tell you to be careful who your friends are. If your friends are cheating, the same will be said about you.

Answer 2

I'm not an Army wife, but I was in the Army and my wife lived with me. When I deployed to Iraq, she moved back to South Carolina with her mom. I was single half of my service and then married, so I know a little about both. First, stay away from any soldier while your husband is gone, most are just seeking a quickie and don't mind messing with married women. Second, try to make friends with other wives who's husbands are in the same unit as your husband, that way there is a sense of security. Third at the first sign of any wife being slutty or trampy, loose all interaction with them. Yes many wives go ape crazy when the men are gone and living around a base doesn't help too much.

Answer 3

Don't sweat it. Your husband should have an FRG (Family Readiness Group). It is usually chaired by one of the higher ranking officer's spouse. They are responsible for passing along information that relates to the unit while they are deployed. My husband's group is okay. I would suggest getting to know them. You will be able to tell fairly quickly whether they are going to be people that you can befriend or not. My group is okay, but I'm 43 most of the ladies are in their twenties and this is their husband's first deployment so it is a little difficult for them. However; some of the others are pros at this and are actually very helpful. Don't worry about the rumor mill. If you know how to choose your friends properly....you will do just fine.

Answer 4

That's kind of hard to determine!

I was involved in the Family Support Group, but it was just a bunch of officer's wives trying to tell the enlisted wives what to do! They do a lot of good, but unless your hubby is an officer, don't expect to be a leader of anything.

I guess I would stay away from the clubs on base - for one thing, partying with folks who know your hubby isn't smart - if you get drunk and show out, it'll make him look bad. I'm not a drinker, so that was never an issue for me.

I don't think I've been very helpful in answering your question, but I just want to encourage you to find a group of people who are faithful to their husbands, and don't go around gossiping about everyone else! They are out there -- don't give up!

I wish you well!

Answer 5

The wives that help the rumor mill hang out with guys by themselves which leads to speculation. The guys will hit on deployed trrops wives which is not right, but they must have some success or they would not keep trying.

If you mind your own business you will be fine. You have to live your life and pray for the safe return of your loved one. It helps to have friends to watch your back.

Answer 6

My cousin always survived her husband's deployment in the same way...

She made a close friend of another wife in the same unit, and they had a sort of "shared family" while their husbands were gone. You know, dinners at each other's houses, kids having playdates, that sort of thing. If you have a female buddy you can spend time with, your reputation remains spotless no matter what!

However, the Chitter Chatter Club will always, always find things to talk about. If you smile at a soldier on the street they turn it into Basic Instinct or something. Don't engage in gossip, don't spread gossip, don't listen to it. Find a niche to keep yourself busy, book clubs, knitting clubs, whatever you can find.

Answer 7

Stay away from the wives that seem to know everything about everyone (gossipers). Stay away from other soldiers (married or not) unless you know them on a personal level prior to moving there. When I lived on base, it was like Jerry Springer land. I hated it.

Answer 8

Stay away from wives who run to the base clubs the night their spouse flies off anywhere. They are losers.

Answer 9

watch what you say around your FRG ladies, they all have big mouths!! When the time comes to know who to stay away from, you will just know!

Answer 10

Don't worry about it so much. As long as YOU know you're not doing it and your HUSBAND knows you're not doing it then it doesn't matter. Women gossip all the time - it's just the nature of the beast.