i and my boyfriend have six young adults 5 boys over the age of 18 and 1 girl 19 we have tried to get them on there feet up and going unfortunately his children do not talk to us any more because evert time they came over all they wanted was money and we started crying broke / my 2 sons live with us and all they do is smoke marijuana all day and they don't even help around the house so we have decided to more to another town and let them figure out where they are going to live we are really now living from paycheck to paycheck and we think it is time for us to move on.. Please aswer my question are we doing the right hing?
2007-04-05 05:48:42 · 17 answers · asked by enedeliagrc 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I don't have teenagers but tough love is the hardest love a parent can give but it is the most beneficial. The kids aren't going to learn how to fend for themselves if you are there to cushion their fall. They need to hit the ground for once and wake up into a new world called life. They need to learn life is what you make of it and not what mom and dad make for you. You ARE doing the right thing and it will hurt cuz you love them but it's because you love them that you are doing it.
Much luck to all!!
2007-04-08 16:58:05 · answer #1 · answered by QuestionQueen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely! and you should have done this much sooner. However, it's never too late to learn. Let them fend for them selves, Give them guidance,like if you get a job, you will be able to do this that or whatever. Remind them that they should take care of their health. Invite them for a holiday dinner, so that you do not lose contact with them on the condition that they do not smoke marijuana in your home, and that the first one who asks for money, will be asked to leave. You are both hard working parents, and your children should not expect you to still change their diapers at 18, 19, or any age. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! Actually you are helping them to grow up the hard way, and there is nothing wrong with that.
2007-04-05 06:14:52 · answer #2 · answered by Alfie333 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to let your children learn from there own mistakes. They will come around ebventually so yes I think you are doing the right thing. If you keep giving them money they are going to use it for stuff they aren't supposed to use it for. I know I was a troubled teen. I moved out at the a of 16. But now I have a beautiful 3 year old son and a great job and life couldn't be better.
2007-04-05 05:54:53 · answer #3 · answered by Tracy G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are. Tough love is called that for a reason. Its tough!
Sounds like these kids need to learn to fly on their own. How are you letting them sit around and get high all day long? You guys are very much to blame for your situation. (Not judging but its something you need to think about) That aside, time to tell these kids that the party's over, go get a job and a place to live! I'd give them a certain time limit to accomplish this, a month or two should do.
Good luck :)
2007-04-05 07:12:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a brother who was the same way. My father gave and gave to him. He wound up on meth and stole all kinds of stuff from out family just to get a dollar to buy drugs with. My father decided to give him a job so he could make his own money. My brother found a girl who he really loved and they had a baby and he got off of drugs. To this day he lives paycheck to paycheck but he dont get any free money from my father without him taking it out of his check. He has straighted up alot. I would recommend making you children work for their money. Make them get a job, dont hand out money because it can only hurt them. I am not saying that to be mean, I know your feelings exactly. It is hard to just let them go. They will really appreciate it in the future.
2007-04-05 05:57:39 · answer #5 · answered by LRCMT 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did what you had to do. Your children obviously feel that you're no more than an atm machine, and need to learn otherwise. It's sad that you have to run from your own kids, but I think if my kids were that big of a mess at that age, I might be running as well. There are many other avenues you could have chosen I'm sure, but don't second guess your decision, they will just take advantage of you again if they don't see you standing your ground.
2007-04-05 06:27:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are running away from a problem that ultimately you allowed to happen! You have to stand up, make them stop smoking pot in your home, or at all! Demand that they get jobs or go to school and contribute to the house.
Somewhere along the way, you forgot what it means to be a parent. I know that I sound really harsh, but you need to get real with the situation because running away is not an option!
2007-04-05 05:55:42 · answer #7 · answered by I Ain't Your Momma 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a way it's your fault that they are the way they are. If they are dumb enough to buy marijuana they should have enough money to pay a bill or two. When I was 17 I had a job and my stepsister and I had to each pay a bill. They need to get off their tail and do something with their life. since you're moving I guess they'll have no choice but to grow up.
2007-04-05 15:00:50 · answer #8 · answered by Ms.Class 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While it's good to be there for your kids - sometimes you have to throw them in the water and see if they sink or swim. They can't spend their entire lives living off of you and smoking pot all day - and now that they are adults they need to learn to fend for themselves - especially if you are having a hard time supporting yourselves. Doesn't sound like a bad idea - you can't let yourselves slip under the water because you are trying to support people who don't want to help support themselves.
Good luck!!
2007-04-05 05:57:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your right. Move away and get a 1 bedroom place so if they do call say you don't have anyroom. They are old enough to start taking care of themselves. And with you always being there for them they'll never do it. Your doing the right thing. Don't look back. Good luck
2007-04-05 14:09:18 · answer #10 · answered by dee g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋