my father past away when i was 13 and my mother kicked me out when i was 14 ive been in and out of lock up my fathers mother that i really didnt know took me in 8 monthes ago me and her have not been getting along now i want to go on my own and do things right this time im a highscchool drop out i have a job but not a good one my boyfriend wants me to move in with him and i love him but i got the fear that what if some happens to him or what if we dont work out but i know i cant afford a place by myself what do i do some plzz give me advise
2007-04-05 05:19:56 · 17 answers · asked by kase 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hi, sounds like you've really had things tough. No one should have to go through so much at such a young age.
Ordinarily, I'd say that 17 is way too young to move in with a boyfriend, but you sound as though you have an old head on your shoulders, and are mature beyond your years. You sound like someone who needs a lot of love and who deserves a lot of love and if you & your boy really love each other, then this may be the thing that finally brings some stability to your life. No matter what age you are - 17, 37, 77 - there are always risks involved in any relationship and nobody can ever say for certainty if things will work out. Sometimes you just have to grab at something and take a chance.
Aside from moving in with your boyfriend, make this a whole new start in your life. Close the door on the past and make today the first day of the whole new you. If you want to make a difference to your life and change from the job you say is not a good one, then why not look into going back to school a few evenings a week. Nothing is impossible and the more you invets in yourself now, the better future you can guarantee for yourself. Remeber that you will always be the most important person in your life.
2007-04-05 05:30:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a decision to be taken lightly. If you truly love him and this is it then you should move in.
But dont do it just to escape living with your fathers mother. When your a teenager its hard to get on with your guardians but things can get better. Ask yourself why your not getting on. If you can you should stay where you are possibly see about getting further education or a scheme which gives you career potential. University and college is not always the best way for everyone. That way you dont have to stay completely in a job where your going no where and make minimal money and get into a situation you cant get out as you have to pay rent or you will be homeless etc.
Talk to your fathers mother responsibly telling her what you'd like to achieve in the foreseeable future and tell her your plans. I'm sure she'd be pleased you were thinking about your future. She may feel your rushing things at the moment. I'm only 24 and recently married and relationships can be straining at the best of times and i have a husband i love, no financial worries and my parents live less than 1/2 kilometer away but when you move in with someone the relationship is taken to a new level.
I notice u said about something happening to him - are you worried that he will pass away like your father. If so you need to work through insecurities with close friends and be open building things up inside dont help.
Hopefully you'll get some points from this book i seem to have written. Hope it all works out for you
2007-04-05 05:32:42 · answer #2 · answered by Emma S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say that you desperately need an agency like Teen Challenge, or another Christian organization. You are unbonded to any older married couple, and you don't feel loved by anyone. You have no ability to generate good money in today's society, so if you became pregnant and then your boyfriend dumped you, there'd be nothing ahead but poverty and mental pain in your life.
Your troubles are too big to discuss here. But I'll be praying that you find an older woman of high moral character; someone who will listen to your attitudes and then truly respect you as a person. There are also teen groups in many churches, and the kids there will love and accept you in a way that you've never experienced before.
Remember that Christ gave most of His love to troubled people like you. He viewed the good person who lived in there, and not the exterior person who felt unloved and unworthy.
I'm going to pray for your answer throughout the rest of this day. You just need someone whom you'll eventually respect to give you a sense of genuine caring direction. Let's believe that is possible for you -- even though you've had a troubled past.
2007-04-05 05:53:18 · answer #3 · answered by SaturnMan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I would graduate highschool, don't drop out... get back in and finish. That'd be a HUGE mistake not worth making. While you are in highschool, apply for scholarships to go to college. If you think that is not an option than graduate highschool STILL or get a GED, join the military as soon as you hit 18 if you can't get your mom to sign for you. I know the military sounds really scary, but if you do well, you can join any branch, get a free ride to school, and have housing, food, and a stable, well paying job. If you aren't sure about living with your boyfriend than don't do it, you need to watch out for yourself. There are shelters and alternative schools which can get your life back on track. And once you climb your way back to the top, write a book about it!
2007-04-05 05:26:59 · answer #4 · answered by Annie B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you could use some "Roots". Please try to talk to your mom. If you aren't able to work things out with her, you don't stand much of a chance of being an "adult", in an adult situation, such as moving in with a boyfriend. Sounds like you've had some "bad breaks" while you've been growing up. Since you'll be 18 [an adult] soon. Try to grow up emotionally before you face the world again. Give your mom a chance to be a mom. Also, consider going back to school, or obtaining a GED. You'll never know how valuable it is, til after you have it. It will open doors to places you'll never be able to open, without it. Best of luck.
2007-04-05 05:36:04 · answer #5 · answered by mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was kind of in the exact same situation, you need to get your GED and find a job to where you can support yourself, you can't always depend on him, what can people take from you if you have the knowledge and credentials to succeed on your own. Unless he's ready to marry you before you move in together, this will just be one big mistake and learning lesson, but I'm guessing you're probably going to do what you want anyway because moving in with him just seems so easy. Trust me not for long
2007-04-05 05:27:01 · answer #6 · answered by Khalil 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that you could consider making a "plan" for your life....
what do you want to do in the future? do you want a good job? in your situation, you are likely eligible for college grants and a free education. perhaps you can consider looking into this. it would give your life some structure.
you can continue to work, also.
it seems that you have had a difficult life so far, and if you consider your future, and make plans to do something constructive for YOU, life will turn around.
it's probably ok to live with your boyfriend, if you want... but you also need to take care of YOU... you and your boyfriend are a couple, but you are an individual. you have to be able to depend upon yourself for survival and a good life.
maybe it's time to consider your life and figure out a way to make things better for your future, and your own good.
take care, and i'm sending hopeful thoughts and hugs your way!
2007-04-05 05:47:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
personally i would advise you to either get your diploma or GED. It feels good to know that you accomplish something. And also it possibly open doors for you to get a better job and the independence that everyone needs. As for moving it in with your boyfriend make it temporary. Set a goal for yourself to be out this way you want feel trapped. And besides if you stay to long with him he will feel like he don't have to make any commitments to you because you guys are living together. Good luck
2007-04-05 05:41:47 · answer #8 · answered by sassymama07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation, im sorry! I would wait until you get a better job. Then move in w/ your bf. That way if something does happen you will be able to take care of yourself. By the way, if they have call centers in your town, check those out. They hire people w/ little to no education and pay decently. Good Luck!
2007-04-05 05:26:04 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not grow up and fly right. man you sure shouldn't live with boyfirend and get pg and then what? man you need to wake up and smell the roses shes trying to help and i bet you are being smart and ugly witht he lady you are living with well make amends and grow up and start living . high school drop out: hey what is wrong with you that is the beginning of a messed up world get moving and do yourself a favor and learn to live right and have some pride.
2007-04-08 16:56:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋