My sister in law, Jess, has a sister, Rose, who lives with her and my brother - for the past year. since Rose's family is all in wash. and i am on the east coast, rose has been coming to all family events, and acts like she is family, which i resent, but hide it to make life go smoothly. Should i invite her to the wedding so i don't get asked why i didn't? I really just kinda want to ask her to be like a nursery attendant for my many nieces and nephews, who will be coming to the wedding for pics and such... HELP!!!
2007-04-05 04:21:54 · 67 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
That would be very rude. She deserves to be asked
2007-04-05 04:28:13 · answer #1 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
You may want to really honestly think about what kind of person you are. Your sister in laws sister, is basically family. You need to figure out why you resent her so much, is she rude, loud and obnoxious or does she become the center of attention when around? If not then the problem is you. If you do not invite her your not only going to hurt her feelings but then your going to offend your sister in law which then is going to upset your brother, "The domino effect " and your going to be the one who winds up hurt the worst. Also think about what you would do if the shoe was on the other foot and YOU were the sister in laws sister, how would you feel? She isn't hurting anything by trying to be a part of your family open your heart a little and enjoy your wedding! Good Luck
T.
2007-04-06 14:50:25 · answer #2 · answered by ThePleasurePlayground.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously Rose considers you family since as you say, she 'acts like family'. Bottom line: Rose is family. It sounds like you may not particularly like her, and I'm sure you have your reasons, but like it or not she IS a part of your family now. To not invite her to your wedding would surely bring rise to many speculations and could possibly start an argument. Sometimes we just have to deal with certain things for the people we love, right? Now, as far as her being your nursery attendant, it sounds like a great idea. When you present her with this opportunity make it seem like an honor. Tell her she's the only person you trust to watch your precious nieces and nephews and you would absolutely love to have her there taking care of them on your special day. Tell her it would mean a lot to you. It's all about how you come at her about it. Good luck!
2007-04-05 04:35:45 · answer #3 · answered by ♫Rojas♫ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Of COURSE you should include her. The more the merrier, I say. Why DO you resent her being part of the extended family? She is, after all, the sister-in-law of your brother which makes her family. Stop being so hateful, and accept her. She should definitely be invited to the wedding.....but don't abuse her by giving her a stressful task like that. If you have to have a nursery, you should hire somebody for that. But, those "many nieces and nephews" really shouldn't be shuttled off to a nursery somewhere, they should be in attendance with the parents caring for them.
2007-04-05 04:34:35 · answer #4 · answered by kj 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is your wedding and you should do what you want to do, but be warned that it may make the day not as amazing if people keep asking were Rose is and then after-wards the weird awkwardness when you see her after the wedding.
I say invite her(its not like you are going to even notice she is there...you will be too busy being on cloud nine)....give her the job of taking care of the kids and just let this whole problem fall from your worried mind...YOUR GETTING MARRIED, that's all the matters right now.
2007-04-05 04:36:58 · answer #5 · answered by psy_co_path 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Asking her to care for your many nieces and nephews is just rude. If she offered to be a nursery attendant then I would take her up on the offer but coming out and saying, hi can you watch the kids at my wedding, but you are not invited is just not right. I would ask her to be a guest at the wedding, what harm could it do to invite. Plus she is family when your brother married Jess he formed a bond with her family and to your brother she is his sister too.
When my sister got married we forged a very close relationship with my sister's in-laws and we even ended up going to her sister-in-law's engagement party. The first time I met my brother-in-law's aunt and uncle they instantly invited me to spend the night at their house.
One more person is not going to matter and I am sure that your parents invited colleagues and friends that you have never met.
2007-04-05 08:07:17 · answer #6 · answered by Important 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just invite her to the wedding as a guest. It's not worth the hassle of trying to exclude her.
Asking her to be the nursery attendant is probably a bit rude. If she is busy watching the kids, she won't be able to enjoy the wedding. And including her, even in this way is just going to encourage this sense of family that you seem to resent.
Have a great wedding day.
2007-04-05 04:43:58 · answer #7 · answered by M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she lives with them then & has been going to family events she may be hurt if she is not invited. Especially when she is home sitting alone and they are walking out the door all dressed up! Maybe after you send her the invite, and you see her...ask her if she could "HELP" you to entertain the children. Tell her that you ask because you trust her and because she is family and feel comfortable with her. She will be so complimented that she will hardly realize that she is getting stuck with the sucky job!
She is prob acting like one of the family because she may not feel enough love or acceptance in her own...which is sad for her. Including her really will make her sister happy which in turn will make your brother happy because he will not have to hear it from his wife. It is easier this way...just ignore her and enjoy your day.
LOL! Anyway, have a great wedding and Congrats!
2007-04-05 04:32:29 · answer #8 · answered by Lissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you resent this woman's presence in your family life? Technically, she is family! Is this a case in which resentment really means jealousy? Please keep in mind that this woman is a permanent fixture in your life since her sister is married to your brother.
If you resent her, don't invite her to the wedding and do not ask her to babysit. It's a bit hypocritical to invite someone you don't like to an event as important as you wedding, and it is even more hypocritical use her as a babysitting service.
You should hire a nursery attendant or make parents responsible for their own childcare.
Godspeed.
2007-04-05 04:39:47 · answer #9 · answered by museumdoll 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel that you should invite her to your wedding. Even though she is not really your family, she became part of the family when your brother married her sister. Unless there is some bad blood between the two of you for something else, your sister-in-laws family should be considered a more extended part of your family.
2007-04-05 04:36:33 · answer #10 · answered by blondie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it would be rude of you to invite her to the wedding and then ask her to be a daycare worker for a day. If the children are a bother then you should plan on hireing some one to baby sit them. Dont use you brothers sister-in law that way. I invite my sister-inlaws family to my kids stuff and other family functions all the time.
does anyone else in your family have feelings like this towards your brothers sister-inlaw? if so maybe all of you should sit down and talk to him about . you need to deal with your jealousy issues towards her.
2007-04-05 04:44:16 · answer #11 · answered by goneroping2001 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋