How do I tell my parents that I moving out and moving in with my boyfriend?

Question

I'm 19 and I live in GA. My bf lives in TN. Things for me down here have been bad and I need a fresh start. I love my parents but I want to live with my bf. I am in college but I won't have enough money by next semester (which is in August) to go back. I am planning on working then going back to college in Spring 2008. My parents are strong Christian people (I'm not) that do not believe you should live with someone before you get married. My bf and I aren't ready for marriage. No matter what, I AM MOVING TO TN. How do I tell my parents??

I've already told them I'm taking a break from college and they are OK with it. I just don't have them money right now and NO I WON'T GET A LOAN.

Answer 1

Just tell them the truth in how you feel. You are a legal adult. The probably wont be happy with you but im sure they will come around all in good time. Your just moving out, its not like your telling them you are pregnant or somthing.

Answer 2

No matter what, your parents are going to discourage you and make you feel that you are not an adult yet... so you should sit them down and tell them that you want to live your life without regrets. Give them the reasons why you are moving. Make sure to tell them that you have a plan for your future...that you are going to go back to school etc. Sit down with them and be mature about it. If they still don't understand you, which I might say- they probably won't and they won't listen- just tell yourself that you have done your part in telling them how you feel and now it is your decision to live the rest of your life... Good luck! I think your parents will eventually get over it but it may take some time. Just reassure them that you are not going to ruin your life by moving away...

Answer 3

I grew up in the same situation. My parents believed that you shouldn't live with a man without the vows of marriage, but I wasn't ready to get married and I am a person that believes you should live with a guy first because how are you truly going to know that you can live with him forever. However, from personal experience don't lie to them about living with him. That so didn't work. I was constantly trying to hide it and it just puts more stress on you. Just sit them down and explain to them that you have to do this. You have to try this and just because you have different beliefs doesn't mean that you don't love them and are trying to defy their beliefs. If they are true Christians they will eventually understand. Talk to them and explain your plans of when you are moving, where you are going to work, and about the guy. The more they know maybe the more they won't be so angry. I am now married to the guy that I lived with and my parents love him. So, it may feel scary now, but you will get through it. Good luck

Answer 4

Well if you are bold enough to go against their wishes you should be bold enough to tell them to their face. The thing is that they have invested alot of their lives in you and want you to succeed. At 19 every kid thinks that they know enough to make it on their own. Your parents have supported you and believe in you. Without them your world would be cold and lonely. Imagine them dead. They are owed the truth and an explanation in person at the least.

You are an adult now, which means that you are the one who has to live with your screwups. If you move to TN you will be alienated from everyone you know and dependent upon your bf. There will be no one to turn to when things get you down or he screws up (he's a guy we all screw up, but that doesn't make it ok either, just human).

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? There are lots ao articles on cohabitating, you should read some of them. They are especially relevant since you admit that you are not ready for marriage.

I might add that I live with my girlfriend and while we plan on getting married there are tons of issues that we are dealing with that weren't there when we lived in our own places. It saddens me that you choose to strike out on your own at this age when you have parents that love you and will help you get a leg up on life at home.

Answer 5

To be honest if you wouldn't consider marrying him I think moving in with him is a bad idea. Playing house at your age can go very wrong - I know because I was there myself not so long ago!! If you get into the life of being domestic and working instead of going to college I can almost guarantee you will never get around to finishing your education. But, of course it's all up to you, and at the end of the day the only way you can tell your parents is to come straight out with it. As long as you're sure you're doing it for you and you only then I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 6

I won't lie to you, it's going to be hard. It was really hard for me when I moved in with my boyfriend because my mother and I are best friends. Here's what I did: I explained how much I love him and how well he treats me. I also explained how I needed to get out on my own so I could learn things like handling my own bills and appreciating the value of a dollar more. When the big day came, I almost had second thoughts as I was loading my stuff into my truck because my mother locked herself in the bathroom to cry when I left. I cried the whole way to my boyfriend's apartment (which is now OUR apartment). Tell your parents you feel you're ready to get out on your own and how you need yor fresh start. Also, remind them that you're 19 and need to learn the responsibilites of being an adult.
Good luck!

Answer 7

Get your education first, and don't concern yourself too much with your bf. Living with him could lead to a real bad situation for you. If he's in Tennessee, and you are in Georgia, it's best that way until you finish your education. Be respectful of your parents' beliefs, whether you agree or not. In the long run, their love and support is more important.

Answer 8

You're 19 and you're in college... not exactly the best time to move in with a guy who lives in an entirely different state, regardless of the circumstances (ie, how much you love him, how much he loves you, etc...) Can I ask you another question? How old is this guy? I think you should think these things through before you act, but... if you do decide to move in with him... the way to tell your parents is to look them in the eyes and say: "Mom, Dad, I have decided to live in sin with my boyfriend in Tennessee." =)

Answer 9

Be understanding, remember that they will be dealt with a huge blow.Of course, you have to promise to visit them often and all of those things. Also remember to assure them you have financial backings and promise them you will continue your studies soon.

Be firm about it. Say "I will be moving no matter what you say", but do not criticise them even if they don't agree to let you go. You are old enough and can go, they cannot hold you back. However, do try to keep your relatonship with them if possible,they are the ones who brought you up after all.

Answer 10

Okay, first off, if you stayed in GA would you be able to continue your education? If you and your BF are serious and are planning to marry one day, you both need to sit down and tell your parents very calmly. Try not to be defensive. It won't be easy, but the bottom line is your parents love you and want you to be happy. Good Luck and welcome to Tennessee.