How to deal with Envy? lack confidence & Anger ? My childhood lack of understanding, love and goods in life..As grown up in 20ies
doing something i like such as traveling, shopping seems like bad things coz i felt don't deserve and will be blame as bad child..
Sometimes I felt so unsafe if i am not cuddling myself alone in bed and dreaming...
I persistantly deny myself to the present moment/Felt wrong to be happy now..and pay for it later... I always feel lost like i dont' know who i am or what kind of greatest goal i should aim for... , don't accept the aspect of myself now (friends, job , place of living) i always think "this is not yet who i am "... and i felt embarass to do as normal people would do like go clubbing, participating some events and traveling with friends...If i did that, it must come from some purposes but i won't be relaxing in such crowded and situations..
My relationship now with family is broken because i decided to do so....
Thanks for reading
2007-04-05 02:43:56 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You were brought up in a home where your parents were unable to help you understand that it's OK to be you. You're now in your 20s and you live in fear and with the attitude that you don't deserve to be happy. The envy, lack of confidence and anger all come from a fear that you will disappoint your parents for not being what you believe they want you to be. Believe it or not, you are not alone. What you can do about it is understand that your parents did the best they knew how and forgive them for not being able to do better. You must also forgive yourself for not being what you currently believe you should be. Right now you are who you are and that's wonderful.
You have an opportunity now to decide how you want your life to be. I looked back at the other questions you asked and it sounds like you have big dreams about building in Europe. Follow your dreams. You have the right to want a wonderful life for yourself. You say you persistantly deny yourself to the present moment. The present moment is all you have. Live in it and enjoy each and every moment you have. Living in the past won't help you move forward. Living in the future will only frustrate you. You're right when you think "this is not yet who I am". You are still developing who you are.
You see yourself as a different person than others see you. Work on letting out the person you know yourself to be. Doing that is hard work and it takes living in the present so that you are always aware of your own words and actions. If you say or do something that you know is not the real you, turn it around and say or do what the real you would have. Most of your reactions are habits right now. Habits can be changed. It takes awareness which takes living in the present moment.
Once you start accepting that it's OK to be happy and you start making changes to get yourself where you want to go, you will start to see changes in how people react to you. Some will cheer you on and others will reject you because they don't understand the real you. That's OK too. Always be true to yourself and be the person you know yourself to be. Eventually you'll start attracting people to you who enjoy you just as you are. You have a right to be happy. You have a right to be you.
Start to do some of the things that "normal" people do and let your guard down a little. The purpose is to have fun. It's what you're supposed to be doing at your age. Look into how you can make your dreams a reality and concentrate on taking positive action toward that. Right now you're approaching life from a victim mentality. Adjust your thinking to where you are taking charge of your life. You have a right to be you and you have a reponsibility to yourself to be the best you you can be. Good luck. I know you'll do well.
2007-04-05 03:59:00 · answer #1 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This unfortunate thing has happened in your childhood! I think your parents have not done their job properly!!? But be a MAN and collect yourself--stand up now as you are the same as anybody else in this world!!You can also do what others can!Don't just bad feelings comes to you! Start making friends and be in their company!Go outing and communicate!!Sleep well in the night--and before that tell yourself that You will change when u get up in the morning!
2007-04-05 03:04:08 · answer #2 · answered by nkskl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and only you are the one that has to live your life!
Our society places a stigma of rules on what should and
should not be...We are not here to be cookie cutter people.
What made your parents happy is not necessarily what will make you, your siblings or friends happy in life.
We are all different and are in this incarnation to experience things for ourselves. Learn by our own experiences "We have the right to live as we choose provided it doesn't infringe on the rights of others to do the same."
Your parents sound like they live by old word standards, unfortunately this is a changing evolving world. Your relationship with them should not be based on your doing exactly as They want you to do. You are your own person they should accept you for who you are. Just as you must love them for the people they are.
Try to get them to see this......................
2007-04-05 02:56:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is serious... the only person who can help you with this is yourself only... it's really hard to be in your situation because you felt guilt in everything you do for your own fun... give yourself enough time to think and analyze of things... accept your mistakes and forgive the mistakes of others... try to do the things you have never done... maybe from doing this things you will somehow find yourself...just give yourself time, enjoy and appreciate everything that comes in your way... Most important is to pray for the guidance of God.
2007-04-05 03:32:43 · answer #4 · answered by ladyincrime 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just believe to what God had said:
"A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;" (Psalm 34:19)
"So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
(Isaiah 41:10)
That is...if you believe in God. :)
2007-04-05 04:03:50 · answer #5 · answered by noemi jane c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You deserve to enjoy yourself as an adult. The past is done. Look forward instead.
2007-04-05 03:24:26 · answer #6 · answered by phantom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps you are suffering from anxiety and this is a cause of your issues.
consider seeking a therapist (i have in the past, and it works if you work it!).
take care of YOU -- no one else will.
2007-04-05 03:06:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need some help seriously
2007-04-05 03:31:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need professional help
2007-04-05 02:49:45 · answer #9 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋