Sending flowers for a miscarriage?

Question

A good friend just had one at the end of her 1st trimester. I know later today she'll be home resting, do you think its better to stop off in person and try to deliver them, or have the store do it?

Answer 1

I think it would be nice for you to stop in person, and visit, she would probable like to have you comfort her like only a good friend can.

Answer 2

I have had three miscarriages, 1 in the first trimester and 2 in the second trimester. The best thing after I got home from the hospital was knowing people cared. I think having them delivered would be the best thing. You really don't feel like visiting after because you are so sad, but flowers just show that you care and you are feeling her pain. In the card tell her you love her and when she is feeling up to it you two can go for a lunch together and just talk. She is lucky to have a friend like you!

Answer 3

Oh my gosh..... After the week she had, she's going to need more than 55 dollars of flowers... You can send some, but I would keep it at an "I'm thinking of you" kind of thing, since it's two major things, neither of which have a shelf at the Hallmark Greeting Card store. I would actually go for a nice plant, rather than flowers. They last much longer and they are so much easier to take care of. You may want to incorporate a yellow ribbon (supporting our troops) and a pink & blue ribbon (standing for miscarriage and stillbirth and SIDS) into it. Using the Language of Flowers (common in Victorian times, when people would make bouqets of flowers to say something in particular), there are some ideas: Ivy is for Friendship Juniper is for Protection Marigold is for Pain Mistletoe is for Difficulties (not that recommended, seeing as her spouse is across the world, regardless, mistletoe will be synonamous with kissing) Oak Geranium is for True Friendship Pansy is for Thinking of You Red Poppy is for Consolation Snow Drop is for Hope in Sorrow Anyway, there's lots of those kinds of websites out there (listed in "sources") where you can find out things like that. It can make for a meaningful bouquet or plant-gift. What she could really use, though, is someone to be there for her. However, I don't know the extent of your relationship with her (I was somewhere between an acquaintance and a friend with one woman who miscarried, and she didn't want to see much of anyone for a while, other than family and her best friend). If you have a relatively close relationship for her, actions will speak louder than flowers. I'm from the smalltown south, and we bring food into everything. In this case, though, preparing a meal and taking it to her, or taking her out, would be a good idea, I think. The postpartum depression that a lot of women get after having a baby is intensified a lot of times in women who miscarry (understandably so). Your friend has been hit with a triple whammy, having lost the baby, having her husband leave, and then having to deal with all this on her own. She could use a friend to check up on her and help her through this time. However, if you aren't already close friends (more like acquaintances), it could be awkward, and while I think taking food and/or sending flowers and a nice note, if your relationship isn't one in which you would hang out together a lot, now probably wouldn't be the time to start. I hope your friend will be alright.

Answer 4

I'm currently preganant and my biggest fear is a miscarraiage. I'm four and a half months along, and thus far, everything is going good. I think if it were to happen to me, I would prefer somebody stopping by (and phoning first) and not necesarily bring flowers, but maybe a potted plant, so that life, even in a small form, continues. (Also, I don't like cut flowers because they're expensive and they only last a week and a half to two weeks, even with good care.)

I hope this helps.

Answer 5

I think you might want to call first and ask if it's ok if you stop by for a minute. That way you won't catch her off guard and if she's not up to company then you'll know it. What a thoughtful friend you are, it's so hard when you miscarry and even worse (at least for me) when people don't acknowledge it as a true loss, because it is one of the most devastating things to go through.

Answer 6

Give your friend a call, and ask when she might feel up to a visit. If it is soon, stop off and get a bouquet in a container and take it yourself.. If it is going to be awhile, send the flowers, and write something nice on the card.

Answer 7

I would call her and ask if she is up to company or not. If she isnt, then have the flowers sent. If she is then bring them over yourself. I know one thing that was very helpful to me, was when someone brought over a meal for my family every day the first week after I miscarried. I personally would rather have flowers as a gift then a plant.

Answer 8

Although I know you want to take flowers as a symbol of sympathy, I don't think that I would. Every time she'd see the flowers throughout the day, it'd remind her that she just lost her baby. Instead, why don't you just offer yourself? To simply be there, should be enough. Why don't you make a few cookies and go to her home and just offer to listen to her for a while or just to talk of other things?

Answer 9

I went trough that ordeal myself five times, and every time I did not wanted to see anybody, but still wanted to know they were there for me. (Strange, huh?) I say you send her the flowers now and call her a few days later. Please, dont tell her “Its going to be ok“, or “Youll see, you will have your child eventually“. Just be there, ask her if you can help her in any way, and bring her some gossip from work, or some jokes, or something to take her mind off her miscarriage.

Answer 10

I had several miscarriages myself, and trust me, we don't want to see people. I didn't even want to pick up the phone for a few weeks. It's very nice of you to think of her but please give your friend time to grieve. Let the flowers be sent by the store, she will appreciate that and will talk to you when she's ready.