my boyfriend finally told me he loves me...things are going well. However, our sex life has never been anything to brag about. And we only have sex when he wants to. Of course I always want to, but thats not the point. we have sex like 2 times a week if I am lucky. we don't live together, but we spend 4 out of 7 night together(sometimes more) Here is an example of my trouble. he had the day off yesterday, and I took off work a little early and we went to the bar for a few drinks. Then we went back to his house so i could make dinner and wait for my kids to get dropped off over there. we had just over an hour before the kids got home and I REALLY wanted to "go to bed" (or living room floor or couch or kitchen counter...) N E way he was like, I came home to have some dinner and watch some TV not to have sex... I feel like he is just not attracted to me...he said thats not it but what else could it be? I have never met a man who wasn't almost always willing
2007-04-05 02:10:45 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If your in Illinois contact me.Ill hit it every nite.
2007-04-05 02:19:43 · answer #1 · answered by Honest Injun 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, Kelly, I admit that's a problem. But I'm wondering if it's always been that way with you two or did it just begin to be? The issue could be steming from a lot of different areas but the first thing that my gutt says is he's feeling sexually inadequate and has an issue with intimacy and emotions. The fact that you said he "finally" told you he loves you speaks volumes. As if being emotionally involved is a hard thing for him. Also, if he's not good in bed it could be he's not confident about the size of his penis or his ability to satisfy you. If you've been disappointed in the past, and have let him see that, well that's a real blow to his ego and nothing kills the sex life faster than that kind of blow. Please note that I am in no way saying that this is your fault. Now, he may very well be attracted to you but is simply an asexual person, meaning sex isn't the first priority for him and he'd really rather have a V8. The problem comes in where you feel he's not attracted to you and you are left in need of - well probably more attention and affection than actual intercourse because for us women the emotional aspect of sex is what's really needed. What you have to do at this point is decide what's more important to you. You can't fix his problem, only he can do that. But you can suggest - gently - that he seek some help. Maybe you two go to a sex counselor together. But keep in mind this is a VERY hard subject for men to accept. He'll either be gradually open to the idea, or he'll shut down completely and you'll go from hardly none at all, to just plain none. At that point, you have to decide if you can live in a relationship without sex. Can you? If not, then you may have to consider a partner more suited to your needs. Good luck.
2007-04-05 02:47:06 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how much you have invested in the relationship....a few months/weeks, no kids, no financial ties? Then I say move on.
If you do have a lot invested in one another and you find in your heart you want to try and make it work then talk to him about it.......or it could simply be that he has a low testosterone level....old age is not the only contributor to that problem.
Look into some natural remedies that increase testosterone levels. If he's willing to take the medicine it's worth a try. If you search the net for natural health food stores that's a good place to start. Or find one in your area and visit the store, I've found that most of them that I have been into the sales clerks are very educated on natural remedies and are willing to help you find the right medicines for all sorts of medical problems.
There's so many varying factors in your instance that it's hard to give good advice, but I hope what I have shared may be of some help.
2007-04-05 02:44:11 · answer #3 · answered by Little Britches 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your relationship probably will not survive because u will eventually get tired of begging and go find somebody else 2 scratch your itch. I never met a man who didn't want sex all the time either he is confused(possibly gay), has another sex partner(torn between 2 lovers) are don't find u attractive r interesting, sex is an important part of an relationship, go find someone who wants u.
2007-04-05 02:25:40 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sure seems like his sex drive is lower than yours. I guess time together isn't an issue, since you re spending all those nights together, but if he only wants sex twice a week and that's nowhere near enough for you either he is getting it somewhere else or he isn't sufficiently attracted to you. Either way , if it were me, Id move on.
2007-04-05 02:16:51 · answer #5 · answered by Lauren J 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes because he is probably looking at it like its not all about sex but he shouldn't get it when ever he wants. it's a 50/50 relationship and maybe he needs to understand that.
2007-04-05 02:19:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he could be getting it from somewhere else, but it depends, he may not have much of a sex drive will it last probably not, if its already bothering you, unless he would be fine with your cheating
2007-04-05 02:14:53 · answer #7 · answered by Chrystopher P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya it sound like if this was a marriage it's on the rocks. you got problem girl and it's not sex, it's commucation.
2007-04-05 02:17:12 · answer #8 · answered by Kenshin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋