If your parents were to die today, would you have said all that you wanted to say to them?

Question

Im 26 & I dont think I have said anything to my mom & dad about how I feel towards them. I would be devestated if they were to die not having heard the words from my mouth.

Answer 1

What a morbid thought!

My dad died when I was 17 and my mum when I was 26. There is so much I wish I had said or done but the main regret I have is that I didn't know them better or know that much about their lives pre me.

Answer 2

Well Claudy_B, my mom died when I was 28 and believe me, I was devasted. We had just spent a holiday together and I found that throughout that time, she was exceptionally happy and loving as usual. But looking back on it, she was saying goodbye in a way I didn't pick up on. She had always told us how much she loved us and always did the best she could for us, yet we never said those loving words back at her. When she died, I regretted that immensely and found that the only way I could deal with it was to write her a letter and place it in her coffin. I know it sounds crazy but yes, I did that and felt a little better. My dad was very broken when she died and I took the opportunity to tell him that I loved him but he withdrew into his own world and would not allow us to show him just how much he meant to us. Sadly he died soon after. Since then, I take every opportunity to tell others who still have their parents, to tell them that you love them and appreciate all that they have done for you. Give them an unexpected hug now and again and give your mom some flowers just for the sake of it. Take your dad fishing, hunting or just to the pub or whatever he likes. Make the time and effort to say 'thank you', 'I love you',before it's too late. I am so happy that you have realised this before it was too late. Well done! Your parents will be SO proud of you.

Answer 3

Then say it my friend ,my Mum told me she loved me and I have said it to her and she also said if I die (my Mum always says if I die ! ) don't worry about anything you think you should or should not have said because it will be alright I will always love you, I was very moved by that and have said the same to my children . So if it is on your mind do it now if you find it difficult then send a letter sometimes it is easier to write it down and also it is something your parents can keep none of us know when it is our time. You are obviously a very caring person

Answer 4

I lost my father 4 years ago almost to the day. When he was dying in hospital, during the days leading up to his death, there were a million things I wanted to say to him and yet I couldn't think of a single thing.
He was dying from kidney failure and it was decided to withdraw all treatment and let him die in peace and dignity. How I held his hand and told him, I just don't know. I have worked in a hospital for 22 years and that was the hardest thing I have ever done.
If ever there was a time to tell your parents you love them, it is now. Don't wait, you will NEVER EVER get the chance once they are gone. So do it today.

Answer 5

If my dad was to die today I don't think that he would know how much I love him and respect him for the things he has done for me , or how sorry I am for what I have done to him in the past . Though if my mother was to go today she knows how I feel ( NOT MUCH ) about her ( she is a really bad person ) I love her but have NO respect at all

Answer 6

My father is still alive, my mother is not.
(I'm 29, in case that matters).
My mother's death was quite unexpected, and there were plenty of things that went unsaid, apologies that weren't made, etc.
The relationship I have with my father is such that we're "good" - nothing too over-the-top mushy or sentimental, but I've done my best to be a good daughter and he tries to be a good father.
And I've learned that you're always better off acting in such a way that you will have no "should haves" or "wish I would haves".
So there you go.

Answer 7

I think it would be almost impossible to have someone you are close to die and not have regrets for words left unsaid.

It is an important part of the grieving process and we tend to find something to feel bad about as if to justify our grief.

Having said that, reminding people every day that you love and care about them is no bad thing.

If you have anger wait until they are dead to talk to them. They can't answer back so you win every time!

Answer 8

I find it hard to say what I want to them as I moved out very young. We wernt very close at all. far from it. I feel as if they dont care. Im adopted and they raley showed me any emotions that were nice. No hugs. No kisses. No Love.
I now have a new son (3 months old) I see them once a month if im lucky. They dont phone. I have no support. I would love to tell them how I feel but to b honest im probably better off without them. It does hurt though as they have my twin brothers who treat them like **** and still they favour them. Ow well thats life!!
X P.s My answer to your question is no.

Answer 9

My dad yes - I told him everything in the letter I sent last year telling him I want nothing more whatsoever to do with him.

My mam no - How can I tell her about how much pain she caused me growing up when she's tried so hard to get sorted through counselling, doesn't make it right but neither does raking it up.

Might sound cold and callous but I don't think I'd be overly upset when they die?

Answer 10

Fourteen years ago my Step-Dad died suddenly, and it was a shock to everyone especially my Mother, who never got to say goodbye to her Husband. after the funeral I had made up my mind to go and search for my real Father whom I hadn't seen for fifteen years or so, I was going to give it a bit of time to let the dust settle, unfortunately time was not on my side. six weeks after burying my Step-Dad my Father died suddenly, so I was never able to make that step to reconciling with him. Now I would give anything to be able to say that at least my Dad died knowing how much I love him, and that I forgave him.
Now I phone my Mum everyday, because I can and I tell her how much I love her all the time, and I know that there is no promise of tomorrow, and so I make each day count.