confused if he needs space or seeing someone else?

Question

recently my hubby and i had a falling out and he moved in with a girl who claims is a friend she is 43 and he is 26 but she is known to like younger men. We have four kids and a four yr relationship. He is trying to stop his alcohol addiction and anger problem. Saturday he went to her house so her roommates boyfriend wouldnt try anything. he didnt come back. he assumed i kicked him out and the next day her and him picked up the car and half of his clothes. he is still staying with the women and claims he sleeps on the sofa. He says he loves me, but he needs to think about US and how to become a better father/husband. I got this gut feeling he is with her. Do I let him just go or do I wait for him to decide if he is moving out perm or coming back. He IMs me everyday says he willalways love me. Saw the kids twice once for an hour and another time for 10mins. Says he was going back over there to sleep on the sofa. I dont understand. I need help. I asked if he wanted his other stuff/saidno

Answer 1

Trust your instincts! If you have a feeling he's cheating then he probably is. You need to ask him once for all to come home or get the rest of his stuff, you don't deserve to live your live as the "runner-up" or the "rest stop". Even if he is sleeping on the couch, he disrespected you by bring that woman over to your house to help him get half of his things. Next file a child support order and cut your losses!

Answer 2

Your husband SUCKS! It is not her you should worry about you have a much bigger problem and that is his alcohol problem. He has made a commitment to marry you and he had children with you. You married an alcoholic and you should of known this. YOu are stuck with this loser.
The best advice to you is work on making you kids happy
and put your head up high and better yourself and stop wasting time with some *** that is staying with an older women. All that sofa crap sounds like bull to me. He should be a man and face you and see his children. He is pathetic
wake up and smell the coffee. Don't mean to be harsh but the truth is you made a mistake and you should move in with your parents or a relative or good friend good luck.

Answer 3

Honey, you can always get a hotel room for awhile, you DON'T have to crash on a "friends" sofa, much less a "females". I would be VERY leary of this whole situation. #1 he isn't taking seeing your kids seriously, they should be his #1 priority. If he was serious about you guys, he wouldn't be putting you in this awkward deal. If he has already taken the time to get his **** out, then I wouldn't count on him coming back, he is obviously "trying on" this new women. Has she even spoken to you about any of this? If she was just a "friend" she should be counseling BOTH of you and trying to mediate and encourage him to work on getting help and counseling for his addictions. No honey, I believe he is "dipping his wic" with this other women and has NO intent on coming home for quite awhile or if ever. Can you find it in yourself to trust him again, emotionally and sexually? Search yourself and make a honest REALIST decision on his behavior and what YOU deserve from a man and how you want to be treated. It's not always the best place to stay with a man who has exhibited this drastic move to live with another women. I am not saying they are both terrible people, but I have had a slightly similar thingy and I know you should be happy. All and all, do what you feel is best but I personally believe he wouldn't go to such lenghts to be with her if he wasn't shagging her....sorry, I know it's hard but it's true.

Answer 4

While he's gone get an order for support from him that you can obtain at family court to make sure he does right by you and your children. If he has the energy to leave you for some bimbo who will tolerate a man who has alcohol and anger issues, then he can work off some of that anger by having a job that will feed, cloth and shelter his children. If he doesn't he can go to jail. He needs space, well you and the kids need to eat. He sounds like a selfish immature idiot. You might not be able to control how he behaves as a husband, but make him do right as a father. Four kids and he has the nerve to believe he has the luxury to walk out and sleep on some woman's couch and do god knows what, while you stay behind and what... cry for him? Get in gear sweetie. Go to the courts and get that order of support to make him get a job if he doesn't have one to pay for his kids. What a loser he is! He needs to think about how to be a better father and a husband for sure, but he's going about it completely in the wrong way. It's up to you to help him out. Please do what's right and get an order of support. As I said, if he doesn't want to support his kids, then he can go to jail, it's as simple as that. If you don't think enough of yourself to make him do right by you, at least think of those four kids.

Answer 5

First of all... Moving out does make a change in a person is it? I reali don think so..
Have u sat and talked to him.. Why not u ppl meet outside and talk abt this feeling u have over ur hubby and that woman...
It doesn't seems right to me too.... Moving in with a lady and saying he is sleeping on the sofa???hmmm.... strange....

I think u got to decide fast... talk and settle it dear..

Answer 6

Girl...go with the gut feeling (it's ALWAYS right!) Yes, he needs the space TO see someone else. Let him go. You're not being a good example to your children if they see you are accepting this behavior from him. - And this is really not a great 'treatment' for his alcohol addiction/anger problem.

Answer 7

It's funny how the human mind loves to ASSUME things....and trust me it always lead you to problems. find the answer see for yourself if he is with the woman. Maybe he need someone to confide to with his problems like your marriage so probably confiding with an older lady he understands, has more experinces. Like a motherly consultation. Don't get me wrong I am aware of how you are trying to salvage your marriage but seek the answer with your eyes first they don't lie.

Answer 8

i doubt very seriously she's just a friend, but that's because i'm very cynical. If he just needed space, he'd probably go stay with family or a male friend.
you guys really need to get together and talk. maybe get some relationship and individual counseling in order to work through your issues. it may take time, but maybe you could get back to where you need to be.