I had plans to celebrate my birthday at a bar on a saturday night however my actual birthday was the Tuesday before. On my actual birthday on Tuesday a friend calls me and insists we go out to dinner that night and I invite only my closest friends for a more intimate get together. Also, he insists that everyone to pitch in and I not pay for the meal. When the bill arrived, I tried to at least cover the cost of the Alcohol however "another" friend told me to put my money away. At the end everybody pitched in and I didn't end up paying for my dinner. Later that evening the same "other friend" who told me to put my money away said that I was wrong for inviting people to my birthday dinner and not cover the bill. He said that people in the U.S. dont go out to dinner on their B-day expecting other people to pay and I should have paid in advance to avoid the issue.
I am so confused! Which friend is correct on how to handle this situation and should I be offended by the comment?
2007-04-04 16:48:40 · 13 answers · asked by Richie 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
The bill got paid so don't weary about it. Just smile & have a good birthday.
Normally I pay for dinner for my friend if it is there birthday.
Happy BIRTHDAY! : > )
2007-04-05 16:17:17 · answer #1 · answered by kingmt01 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Typically the person who arranges the outing is the person who worries about how the bill gets paid.
Customarily friends would pay for your dinner - not the dinner of your other guests. If you invited people that your host did not expect - you should pick up the bill for those individuals.
2007-04-05 04:15:16 · answer #2 · answered by shoppinginmiami 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Etiquette in America, dictates that one never pays for their birthday dinner or cocktails; when invited by friend(s).
However; if you choose to host a birthday dinner at a public place, you are required to pay; unless others offer to pick up the entire bill or chip-in.
Should someone invite you out to dinner for your birthday party; you should not invite others; unless it has been shared with the person who is hosting you. Awkward situations can develop if you blindside your host: sitting arrangement; restaurant accommodations (food, drinks, etc); financial payment; and lastly invitees not able to get along with each other.
2007-04-04 17:27:08 · answer #3 · answered by Swordfish 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your friends insisted on paying your bill for your birthday I would ignore the person who whined about you not paying for your birthday treat.
Every time I've been out with someone and its their birthday celebration they have NOT paid for their meal/drinks. Whether they planned the gathering or not they have not paid.
2007-04-05 03:49:53 · answer #4 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually in America, its rare for the person who is celebrating their birthday to pay for the bill. There is no set way to do things...It's usually figured out at the end of the meal whether the bill should be split or who's paying what.
2007-04-04 16:55:43 · answer #5 · answered by Dr. Nick 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
In America, the birthday boy/girl never pays the bill. In a lot of other countries,however (particularly Latin countries), it is the other way around. The person whose birthday it is will treat his/her guests. In America it is not this way, and that is why you are confused. You were not rude for not paying the bill. It was your friends' intention for you to be treated.
2007-04-04 16:57:48 · answer #6 · answered by hs329 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No. I don't pay the bill if someone takes me out for my birthday.
You'd already made the dinner and guest list with your first friend. Your second friend is wrong. Why didn't he find out what the arrangements were before he was critical with you?
Yes, I'd be offended by the comment.
2007-04-04 18:17:05 · answer #7 · answered by kiwi 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You didn't go with the assumption that everyone else would pay. When the bill came, you offered to pay politely and your friends wouldn't let you because they wanted to treat for your birthday. You did fine by letting them pay for you... just don't forget to chip in when their birthdays come around...... see, it all evens out.
2007-04-04 20:47:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No set rules.
Under 18 the parents pay.
At a bar (pub) the friends usually pay, but bring money along with you as you might want to buy your friends a drink!
The legal drinking age is 21 in America.
Otherwise between 18 and 21 is a free for all...
As long as you are welcome and everyone chips in...You end up drunk!
2007-04-04 18:05:25 · answer #9 · answered by oldster 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your friend should have told you in advance that you should have taken care of the bill in advance !! Your other friend said in advance that everyone would pitch in so you wouldn't have to pay !!!!!!!!! Don't worry about what the latter friend said !!!!!! Happy Birthday Sweetheart !!!!
2007-04-04 17:07:04 · answer #10 · answered by Diana 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋