Ok the thing is I have been with the same man for like 3 years is it normal not to have had an orgasim yet. Is it me am I uncapable. Or is it him just not good enough? its not like it is important but it would be nice once in a while ya know. he is the only man I have been with sexualy.
2007-04-04 15:48:44 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No that is not normal. And by saying that is not normal, I mean it is not normal that you have not had one single orgasm in 3 years, which tells me that you have NOT discussed this with him, right?
For the most part men are very eager to please, and if you are honest with him about what works and doesn't work for you, it's a win-win situation. However, I'm guessing you now have yourself in somewhat of a situation because you have been "faking" it for the past 3 years so now he will be wondering why you "suddenly" are unable to achieve orgasm.
A lot of women are unable to reach orgasm through intercourse, this does not make you abnormal. Perhaps you could suggest that he perform oral sex prior to having intercourse? And if he is already performing oral sex and is not doing well, then perhaps you should give him a little direction.
Also, certain prescription medication can cause difficulty in reaching orgasm. If you are taking prescription meds, I would check with your doctor about the side-effects and possibly changing up prescriptions.
2007-04-04 15:56:04 · answer #1 · answered by imaquitter 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well its not uncommon for women to have trouble orgasming. Since this is the only man you've been with, its hard to say if he isn't doing it right. However, I don't think that's the problem, its probably just that you haven't discovered what DOES get you there yet.
Women are much more emotionally involved with sex than men and I've found that my partners often need to feel that emotional level to reach the O. This isn't always the case, as some women are in tune with the physical side, but it is often the case. To do this, you need to feel completely comfortable with the situation and relaxed (not anxious or worried about reaching orgasm).
I can give you some tips on what kinds of things to do, but this probably isn't the forum. Feel free to e-mail me or IM at chalis913 (serious chat only). Both of you are welcome to chat with me about it!!
2007-04-04 22:55:44 · answer #2 · answered by chalis913 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all i feel for ya!!!!!!
OK there is so much you can do, did you know that 90 percent of woman cannot achieve orgasm by just intercourse so girl your not alone. have you ever thought of a vibrator, no not a big bulky thing just a little vibe egg , they are very small and quiet and right before sex you insert that on your clitoris and trust me you will have a orgasm and a great one at that. you can order them discreetly on line or at a adult store.i had the same problem when i had sex with my husband, it took a while to achieve orgasm and by that time he was exhausted and i felt bad so i bought the vibe egg which is made by doc Johnson, its great. ........by the way you mentioned in your ? that it isn't important but it would be nice.....oh no miss thing it is very important so go buy yourself a toy and go at it already!!!!!!!
2007-04-04 22:58:32 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy6702 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHAT? Really is there any other reason to have sex. Maybe your man just can't stay hard long enough for you to get off or he just gets off before you and well goes all limp. Sometimes it is normal for alot of women if they are just getting rammed and not stimulating the clitoris next time you have relations with your man ride him and rub your clitoris into his pubic bone. Lot's of women do not have a orgasm unless they have some clitoral stimulation meaning doggystyle and missionary isn't going to do the trick. Trust me my wife enjoys it all but she usually reaches her peak when she is riding me because she is getting that clitoral stimulus. So try this next time and enjoy really orgasm is the whole fun aspect of having sex if your guy ain't doing this for you then he must feel like crap. Also consider doing some foreplay before the whole intercourse regime like say 69 or he can just go down under if you know what I mean just that in itself will get you hot and ready to explode.
2007-04-04 22:57:51 · answer #4 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's normal. I'm in the same situation you are: same guy, 3 years. I think maybe they just don't know how to work certain things (not that they're inexperienced). Sometimes, it'll be better for the woman to "take control" so that she can get whatever effect she wants. To me, it's not really important, but I agree that it would be nice.
2007-04-04 22:56:13 · answer #5 · answered by autolux1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be able to tell him what you like and what you dont like. Try playing games (kama sutra is a fun board game) the point of the game is to play around until the game is over then to have sex. Different positions may help. Big thing is to not think "dont know why im doing this, i'm not going to have the big o". dont be embarrassed, but you do need to speak up, because it is important.
2007-04-04 22:54:12 · answer #6 · answered by Brandi F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked this over with your man? Perhaps you are not relaxed enough or perhaps he does not know what you enjoy. Get a book and read it together on how to pleasure each other. If that does not work, you may want to talk with your physician. Good luck.
2007-04-04 22:52:49 · answer #7 · answered by Santa's Elf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's very normal. i was in your situation before. you think everyone else has had it but you. it took me a couple of years actually to get one. talk to him and maybe try different things see if that helps any
2007-04-04 23:19:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time you're intimate, try following your instincts-- direct him in ways you think will feel good. Encourage him if it feels good. "You're getting warmer" style. Chances are you know what your body needs to orgasm.
2007-04-04 22:53:36 · answer #9 · answered by Schwarma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to down south and if that doesn't work find someone on the side maybe i can help!!
2007-04-04 22:52:51 · answer #10 · answered by andy m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋