iam 17 years old me n my boyfriend have been togehter for about 1 year and 6 months. But at times i regret having sex w/ him because i believe it was to soon. We were going out for about 3 months and at that third month we did it. My question is was it too soon?
2007-04-04 15:46:19 · 46 answers · asked by coolchick254 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If it was, are you going to undo it?
Don't waste your time second guessing unchangeable decisions.
2007-04-04 15:57:07 · answer #1 · answered by ronjambo 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well you asked for an opinion, so I'll tell you what mine is.
Yes....sex is not just something you do after so long. It is the cement that helps hold a committed relationship in marriage together...and you can see for yourself it hasn't helped anything has it? Now you know something is missing...and that something is the commitment that should come first.
You'll be very fortunate if your boy friend loves you enough to follow through with what you really want which is love....because commitment might not be the most important thing to him.
You see...guys give love to get sex. Sex motivates them 24 hours of the day. It's part of their physical make-up. Its the way they are made.
Not so for women....women want a love relationship, and a family more that anything else...they are looking to be loved.
When you "give away" the highest motivator for a guy to choose a lasting relationship, then what? Sex without the whole intimate communication and commitment is just sex. Think you have already discovered that.
And now you risk having a child, etc....so taking stock right now might be a really good idea before you increase the problems you have.
It might surprise you to know that you, as the woman call the shots when it comes to this kind of decision...so maybe you need to reconsider where this is going for your own future.
As you can tell....I believe in waiting...that God intended sex to be a beautiful part of a committed relationship. He ordained it, He planned it, and people abuse it by doing their own thing. It only really works well when you follow what God intended it to be.
Think about....do I want to bring a child into the situation I am now in...because all birth control can fail at any time.....
2007-04-04 16:02:20 · answer #2 · answered by samantha 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look honey I'm going to tell it to you straight. Nobody on Yahoo answers have the power nor the authority to tell you if having sex with your boyfriend was too soon or not. The fact of the matter is everyone has different morals and backgrounds and people are going to have their own opinion about things like that. Where I grew up I was the only one in middle school who was still a virgin, so who am I to tell you that it was too soon. You and your boyfriend lasted over a year and I think you did damn good. Make sure you are on birth control and that you are practicing safe sex, because whats done is done and don't let ANYBODY on here make you feel bad about it.
2007-04-04 15:57:21 · answer #3 · answered by GorgeousGangsta 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say because of your age, you could have waited a little longer before you did. At your age you will feel alot of emotions, I know I did. I hope you both considered that consequences if he got you pregnant. The responsiblities of taking a child require alot, from both parents. Because you are regreting that you did, and are questioning if it was right or wrong, you obviously weren't ready. So yes again it was too soon. Also at your age depending on what state you are from, you are considered of legal age to start making independent decisions. I'm saying that you dont love him, nor do i doubt that you do love him. Obviously you do or you wouldnt have done that with him, unless you just wanted him for his dick, and possible child support. It does take alot of maturity to realize what you have already. Dont get down, what you did wasn't wrong. You just weren't ready. The best thing for you to do now is learn from this and use this as a lesson to help you make better choices in similar situations you may come across in the future.
I suggest you take a step back, get with your parents and ask them for advice. I believe that your parents would be very understanding if you went to them with this. Your parents love you and would want what's best for you and to help you. Trust them. Your parents may feel a lil bad if they knew you didn't feel comfortable talking to them and instead you went and asked a bunch of complete strangers like us.
Whatever you do, I wish you the Best of Luck and Happiness.
2007-04-04 16:14:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are asking about it then it was too soon for you for that it a very personal issue But why waste time regretting what is already done for thats being a bit foolish, The past is needed for it makes today what it is but to dwell on the the things that we cannot change is wasted time. Concentrate on the relationship as it is now for you can today decide what your tomorrow will be.Use protection for at 17 you do not wish unplanned pregnancies -for from today your life is in YOUR Control -Now!
2007-04-04 15:53:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
WAY too soon!!!!!
You're 17 and though you may think or want to believe that you are mature enough, when you get older you are going to realize just how immature you really were at 17.
Or let me put it this way, how many single sexually active women do you know between the ages of 21 and 27 that you consider in healthy relationships? Where the guy isn't just getting the milk for free... and they have 4 to 10 years on you.
2007-04-04 16:01:13 · answer #6 · answered by David P 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
regret is a horrible thing to live with, especially with something like your virginity. It wasn't to soon, unless he pressured you into it. You did have a choice. You've been together a year and 1/2, so obviously it seems to be a serious relationship. My only real question is do you love each other? if you can honestly say you can, then try not to be too hard on yourself.
2007-04-04 15:54:28 · answer #7 · answered by sunshine 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This happened over a year ago. Let it go and learn from your mistake. The only person who can answer that for you is you.
To some girls, that was not soon at all but to others it was.
Stop beating yourself up, love yourself, forgive yourself, and learn that a longer time is needed for "YOU" before getting involved with sex with a new partner.
Best of luck.
2007-04-04 15:51:36 · answer #8 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're the only one that can really answer this question. Everyone is different..some people think that knowing someone for a few hours is enough to take someone home. I personally think it's far too short..but since you say that you kind of regret it then it's a good indication that you should have waited.
2007-04-04 15:50:43 · answer #9 · answered by iHEARTPiCKLES 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's one of those questions that have no 'right' answer...to some premarital sex of any kind is a major no-no. Others will screw anything that stands still long enough. If you love him and it felt right then don't worry about it. That was 15 months ago - right? What is causing all this remorse and guilt after more than a year?
2007-04-04 15:49:43 · answer #10 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only you can decide if it was too soon it is different for everyone. But since you are having regrets I would guess that for you, it was too soon. You cant go back and change it but you can sit down and talk with your boyfriend about your feelings and wether or not you want to continue to have sex. If he truly cares about you he will understand and try to help you work this out, he may not like it but he'll try.
2007-04-04 15:53:35 · answer #11 · answered by Shell 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋