The library branch that is nearest to us is very small. I has 5 full time workers, and a few casual that come and go. Our family have gotten to know the names of the librarians, and a bit about them (like one has a cat who is sick). We talk to them when we get our books, and that's about it.
Last week there was a new employee there, and when she was asked what her name is she said "I'd rather not say. That's a personal question." She seemed offended, and when it was explained to her that it's nice to be more personable, she said "I'd rather you not know my name or anything about me."
I really didn't think that was a personal question.
What do you think?
2007-04-04 14:47:25 · 39 answers · asked by Myglassesarealwaysclean 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You didn't do anything wrong. You'll probably never know why she feels that way. I suppose it could be considered a personal question especially if the person you are asking has 'personal' problems.
If that situation happened to me, I would problably explain that I was just trying to be friendly. I would tell her that I come to the library often and I know most of the employees by name. I would apologize if the person seemed truly offended. Next time I saw her I would continue to be friendly. Maybe someday she will let her guard down. If not, that's OK too. There is nothing more to do.
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2007-04-04 14:57:36 · answer #1 · answered by gem 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are friendly and outgoing and you obviously have a lovely caring personality so I can see how the response you received may have hurt your feelings. You were not being rude and it was not a personal question. If see was a stranger at the bus stop, she would have had reason to feel that was a personal question but as an employee at a public library, it was totally appropriate for you to ask. Not that you know how she feels about it, I'd just give her some space. She has issues but you were completely okay in asking her.
2007-04-08 21:02:36 · answer #2 · answered by dcanon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not think it is too personal. Especially since you said it is a small library. It is nice to know the librarians a little bit so you feel at ease if you have any questions. Knowing someones first name does not seem like it is a violation of privacy....you did not ask where she lived, went to school, last name, what kind of car she drove etc etc etc.....you were simply asking her name.
2007-04-09 05:49:02 · answer #3 · answered by deerogre 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"What's your name?" in my opinion, is not a personal question... But I guess she was just kind of sensitive... so don't worry about it.
But think about it, usually in the workplace, people have nametags, or when you call a customer service line, they'll give you a name... Your name is probably the least personal thing about you that someone could know.
Maybe she thought you were asking for her full name? Who knows. If you implied that she wasn't being personable, it might have made her feel threatened, but just asking her name shouldn't have really been a problem.
The library where I live is tiny as well, and we talk to them while they're checking out our books too. Never had someone get upset about being asked their name, though.
2007-04-04 14:55:58 · answer #4 · answered by Mina 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow. First off it is polite to call people by their names versus ma'am or sir. Secondly if you work in a library where patrons are coming into contact with you or any other service industry people will need to know your name. A name is the least personal information a person has- even gender can be more personal if you are a transexual or something.
2007-04-10 17:11:06 · answer #5 · answered by stacy p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-08 18:39:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll make a prediction - that person won't be working there for very long. That was a very strange reaction, and no, asking someone's name in that context isn't a personal question. Sometimes it's easier to say, "My name is Laura" and just let the question hang there, unasked but obvious. If the person wants to maintain a 'professional' demeanour, then they can simply smile and say, "How can I help you?" But if they use your first name, then it isn't out of bounds to ask what their name is. In fact, in many places employees wear a tag giving their first name.
2007-04-04 16:08:56 · answer #7 · answered by old lady 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, she sounds like a psycho serial killer.
When it comes to a person working at the library it isn't a matter of whether it is a personal question or not - it is a matter of customer service. If you want to know her name, she, as an employee of the library, has an obligation to tell you her name. If she has a problem with that then I suggest you speak to management. I'm sure they would have a problem with some freakshow refusing to tell customers her name.
2007-04-10 12:26:38 · answer #8 · answered by Marcus 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not at all. I mean, how many names are there in the world. It wouldn't make any difference if you know her first name. I guess she was having a bad day or something. Or maybe she wanted you to think she was some mysterious secret agent (just kidding). Don't consider this one person's reaction as a generalization of how people really are. She considers it a personal question, so respect her beliefs and let her be.
2007-04-04 14:58:11 · answer #9 · answered by kaveti 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well I would the next time I see here referr to her as "Hey You" or I am sure you can be creative in addressing her. Like if she has red hair call her red! When she presents you as being rude, then you can tell her what else would you like me to refer to you as? Not to mention she is working in a public facility and she is dealing with people day in and day out. I would report her to the head librarian! She should not be working in and enviroment such as that. Perhaps she would be bettter suited as an accountant>! No punt intended!
2007-04-11 07:08:51 · answer #10 · answered by pattiof 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋