single mom fears?

Question

ummmm i have a 17th month old and expecting another baby in september and im boyfriend is never home plays video games all the time and refuses to help me with the one child we have. he only helps financially and it seems like all he wants me for is the three letter word. he is not romantic and doesnt really pay much attention to me. i had to quit school because fia wouldnt pay for my daycare because he lost his job and refused to watch our daughter. most days he walks right past her like she is a lawn gnome and nothing more what should i do should i get rid of him and move on or try to work things out

Answer 1

I'd hate to ask you this but why are you having another child w/ him? He needs to GROW-UP. Anyone can be a father but it takes a special person to be a Dad. For the sake of your kids you need to either go to family counseling or say goodbye!

Answer 2

Yeah, you should leave him. He's never going to grow up. If he was a real man he'd learn that he can't just expect sex, sex and more sex. He needs to step up and be a Dad. You shouldn't have to quit school and do everything because he's too lazy to get off his rear.
Being a single mom isn't easy, but you can do it. And it's by far better than having to live like that. But since it's always a good idea to show an ounce of mercy before making changes-talk things out with him. Tell him how you feel, like:
"I don't like the way you _______________. It makes me feel______. I need you to __________." Suggest counceling and see if he'll agree to try and change. If he says yes-then great! There's hope. Give him about a month. If he denies everything and is being immature about it and refusing to try and patch things up then find somebody you can move in with for awhile and pack your bags.

I know this may sound harsh, but you should've gotten to know the man a little better before having babies with him. Even though you've kind of wrecked your life right now, there's still a little hope-but you've got to take our suggestions quick so you and your children can have a better life.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I suggest you go! if only for a short while... Move to your mums or a friends or if the place your at is in your name kick him out. If you leave and let him know exactly why your over it he will probably just shrug it off and not care. After a day or 2 he'll realise what his lost (unless he has heaps of looser mates in his life all the time). But when he realises and comes crawling back, you will then have the upper hand, tell him you want family concealing and he has to do certain things. Then see how you go.
Honestly, it sounds to me that you would be better off without him and sucking child maintenance out of him. You should take a stand for you and your children! dont have them growing up in an ugly environment where no attention is payed to them by the father.

Answer 4

Well unfortunately this is normal for many many young guys, they are not ready for commitment, they should be--but they aren't. You will have to go along as you are. I hope they bring back the draft and force these 'good for nothing' fools to go to the military. It will happen eventually.
Anyway just be a good mom, do not go to clubs or go looking for another young guy to make you pregnant this time next year. Give your kids all the love and affection they need. somebody has to. Have a 5 yr. plan, get some education, then a decent job, mabey a nurse. you truely do not need him. Have faith that you will be succesful and happy in life, most of all go to a good church, who have Godly views on life. When you do good remember do not let just any guy into your life to use you for your money or sex, only a good man for marriage. Have higher standards in your life. -It is all up to you.--once he sees you are doing well- expect that he will come around for more sex--and try to use you.

Answer 5

Go on with your two kids without him...you can do it! Imagine what you would do if he died. Would you cease to exist? No, you wouldn't. You would do what needed to be done in order to make a happy and fulfilling life for you and your children. Your kids should not be witness to your current relationship. A lot of people make the mistake of thinking they are doing the right thing for the children by staying in an unhealthy relationship. But it's the opposite...they will get the wrong idea about how relationships are suppose to be. And kids are like sponges. Monkey see, monkey do! You and your kids deserve much more! They, and you, will be happier without him. Good luck!

Answer 6

For you to be thinking it you must somewhere along the lines want to be on your own.Yes you have one child and one on the way but it must be harder having to look after him aswell. I know how you feel i to was in the same situation a 4yr old and pregnant and all he wanted to do was play on the playstation.My son had no time with his father so i was mummy and daddy.You will find when you are on your ownthings are so much more easier.I had the you wont cope without me and no-one will ever want you verbal diarhear thrown at me and i've now been sepaerated 7yrs and i've met a great man who respects me and my children. IF I CAN DO IT ANYONE CAN TRUST ME!!! Fancy a chat email me or if you have msn email me address and i'll add you to msn

Answer 7

I've been a single Mom. It's not easy. Financially, you have more options available to you if you are alone. I got a lot of help from the state, they paid for my education and my daycare. I went to school full time and worked nights part time. You don't necessarily have to move your BF out, but you have a right to get on with your life without him dragging you down. Don't rely on him. If he comes through for you.. GREAT, but if he doesn't, prepare yourself now to take care of yourself, your children and your future now. Most states offer lots of support for single mom's...... especially if you want to go to school.

Answer 8

Suggest counseling if that fails then Move back in with your folks and tell them you messed up big time and never have sex again until you are married first.If you had taken the time to get to know this guy BEFORE sex, you would have known he only wanted you for the 3 letter word.

Answer 9

sit him down and talk to him....if he really cares about you he would get his act together and start doing something...if he continues to act the way he does im sorry but he has got to go that is not right what hes doing and maybe he is just in it for that 3-letter word. your child growing up without a father is better than growing up with one who doesnt give a damn about her and completely ignores her like she doesn't exist.i grew up without a father in the house but when i found out what kind of person my father was i realized that i didn't have it as bad as i thought. hope this helped...

Good Luck

Answer 10

Wow you really did pick a loser, what does that say about you.

Maybe it would have been better to find a good man to make babies with instead of complaining about him later...just a thought.

No one is stopping you from getting rid of him except yourself. Realize that the worse person in this tragedy is you, not him. Then maybe you can start to make life better for your kids.