What should I do about my new daughterinlaw?I cannot get along with her no matter what I tryShe is very young.

Question

I have tried every thing but I will not Kiss her *** or treat her better then the other daughterinlaws.I get along great with both the others the age differents of the grils is not by much.I try the opening door with all the children,But no matter what I do its not enough.What do I do my son and I are very close I dont want to cause problems for them but she never has excepted me or his borthers.What to do ? Very up set need real answers right away they will be here for easter.

Answer 1

You guys need to be honest with each other. Yea I know you think you have but its about getting it from her not how honest you are. She is having issues with you, or it could be mom, ether way you and you wife and this daughter need to have a sit down so to speck. You being the almight adult better never get upset at her, thats just lossing ground. Yea she's going to disrepect you, what do you expect her to kiss your ***? I hope you haven't insult'd her dad that would of really lost you some ground...or insult'd her, ouch. Also what are the ages? You think its easy on us answerors when you guys leave out this type of information? What your goal is with her, if you can handle it, is to have "almost" (as close as you can man) to a relationship that you have with your son. If you don't your going to cause your own heck. You have to understand there is a hole in this girl life, the other ones can hide it, but this ones having trouble. The only one other then her father that can fill that is you. Yep alot is on your shoulders, and if you don't accept it, well she'll feel your insecurities and well attack back. It takes time, it takes effort, and it takes alot of heart felt conversations were you show humility and not that your the "grown up". Also there is the dynamics of her and her mother which you said nothing about... she should be more helpful. Not in disiplining her, but in getting you guys to relate your expectations of each other. There is not easy fixes here, might be better you add a councillor to the mix... step family dynamics are intense and you can't pretend that your just like every other family. There all special and show the reason why most people have to go to counciling for years before they have a breck thru. A good rule of thumb is that if you getting tears instead of screams you might be heading in the right direction. Don't get fool'd by the catch phrase "ready made family" its more like "broken family" time for some repair... good luck