First of all IT IS NOT MY PROBLEM THAT I AM SPEAKING OF!!!! I have a good friend whose mother died a while ago. I was talking to her cousin and he told me that man raising her her "dad" is not really her biological father. He also told me that I cannot tell her because she doesnt even know that her mother had a first husband. What should I do she is one of my best friends and I don't want her to find out from the wrong person about this.
2007-04-04 10:59:29 · 13 answers · asked by TIME BANDIT!!! 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I never said I was going to tell her and I am not going to. I was thinking about talking to her father about it. I do know that the man raising her loves her very much and only wans the best for her. I also know more about her father than she does, I know that he does want to connect with her.
2007-04-04 11:19:23 · update #1
And we are just like family. We might not be blood related but we have known each other forever her family is my family.
2007-04-04 11:32:58 · update #2
There's an old saying,"Anyone can be a father,but it takes someone special to be a dad".
If her biological father knows he is her father,then he should be the one to tell her.That is if he cares about her.
Her dad who has raised her and always been there for her,may not have her blood but he is the only dad she has ever known..It will be a shock to her to learn this news.
You know your friend better than anyone else.And you are better at knowing how she will react..Do what your heart tells you.If it were me[your friend],I would want to know the truth.It was too late for me when I found out who my biological dad was.He had passed.So, don't waste time getting these two together.Just let her natural father be the one to tell her.Have a talk with him and see how he feels about telling her..I wish you good luck with whatever decision you make..
2007-04-04 14:01:50 · answer #1 · answered by ladybug 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother didn't tell me that the man i had called dad for 16 years wasn't. But my "father" and I didn't have anything. He didn't like me and I didn't care for him. It was still the hardest thing that I ever went through. I thought that all the people in my life had done nothing but lie to me all my life. It was horrible. It was the worst time in my life. I ran away I did drugs and drank all the time. I didn't know who i was or where i came from. Even though my real father was in my life now it was still a tough to come back. That was 11 years ago, i am clean and sober and have a wonder full relationship with my real father. I also have a wonder full husband and 3 beautiful kids.However my step father and I haven't spoke in 10 years.
2007-04-04 12:09:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your mouth shut...this is a family problem. You don't say how old your friend is but if she is young it could cause bad emotional problems. She has been through enough lately. Just keep on being her friend when she is older she may find out herself. Personally I think it is very unwise to keep secrets like this - it does more harm than good usually.
You don't have to associate with the other person but the child should grow up knowing the truth.
2007-04-04 11:12:40 · answer #3 · answered by megan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may desire to in basic terms tell him at this outing. He would desire to have been informed a at a similar time as back; as quickly as he replaced into the right age to understand. a similar sort of element got here approximately with my niece; her organic and organic father left while she replaced into 4 months, considered him final while she replaced into 2 years. Her mom have been given married 2 years in the past. She has common because of the fact the age of three that her father wasn't around because of the fact she grew up without him; she finally found out on the age of two that she did no longer have a father like all different childrens, yet my sister held it off till the age of three.
2016-11-07 05:48:56 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think its very wrong, I would put myself in their shoes, would you want to know? I know I would, the only exception to me is if the man is dead then I am not sure if the kid should be told. Anyways you personally have no right to go and tell the kid who her real father is or anything. (not sure if you were thinking about it) its up to the dad to do that.
2007-04-04 11:12:26 · answer #5 · answered by his.lover2007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think the truth should be withheld, it always comes out anyway and usually there is a lot of bitterness and anger. But it's not your place to tell her, and I know this is hard for you, but she will be very hurt if you tell her and there is no telling what kind of damage will be done to her relationship with her Dad, and he is her Dad if he has raised her and loved her. You don't want to be responsible for causing that kind of damage to their relationship.
2007-04-04 11:08:37 · answer #6 · answered by nimo22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you do want to tell your friend, it really is not your place. She do deserve to know her biological father though. This is a very touchy situation. I am sure there is some reasons behind this.
2007-04-04 11:08:49 · answer #7 · answered by Blessed and Happy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a family situation I wouldn't say anything. I think a relative needs to speak up and say something, if the kid finds out from someone else it would be disasterous.
2007-04-04 11:11:23 · answer #8 · answered by chiefs fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isnt your place to tell her, but the man raising her needs to tell her before someone lets it slip. It will slip out eventually and if she hears it from someone who isnt her family it will be traumatic. She has the right to know who her real father is and he has rights to know her.
2007-04-04 11:33:54 · answer #9 · answered by chellyk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eventually it is best for the child to know his or her history. Hiding it forever (or so you think) may be asking for trouble. A youngster is not stupid. One day or another the truth comes out and the consequences may then be dire.
2007-04-04 11:05:59 · answer #10 · answered by robert43041 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋