Am I right to be peeved?

Question

My kids have been away at my parents all week and I have been going over to see my bf as he usually has to come to mine as kids with me 24/7. Anyway I thought we may get to spend an extra evening together (tonight) but he txt to say he had to call at sisters after gym, I txt him to say if he had something on and didn't want me to pop round later on just to say so, he replied with txt saying wasn't sure what time he'd be home then at 9.58pm I got a txt saying just got home.

Am I right to be peeved at him, I just felt like he should of just said can't make tonight but instead skirted round it.

I didn't reply to his last txt as was peeved. We don't get to spend much time together on our own (which he has pointed out before) and I don't think I'm going to get to see him on these bank holidays either (I know he's probably working Friday).

It was too late to go over there at 10pm, its about a 15 minute drive and he would of just been going to bed as has to be up early in morning.

He said he was working Good Friday and he does spend evenings at mine with kids but its only 2-3 hours every other day and he spends night on Fridays, but Saturday morning he has to go and pick his son up (doesn't live nearby) as sees him 1 day a week, has said will all spend some time together when weather warms up.

My kids don't see their dad and I have to work full-time thats why they're at my parents, kids will be back with me Friday until Monday then back at my parents for rest of week again.

I think a lot of you are right and I will make some plans for next week to see friends one evening, not to get back at him, but just to do my own thing. If i'd known he was not going to be available I would of made plans for tonight.

Thank you all for your comments and tomorrow morning when he sends his txt (if he does now as didn't reply to last one) I will reply my usual chirpy self (was going to make him wait a couple of hours).

Answer 1

He complains and then when he gets what he wants he says no thank you....? Yes you are right to be peeved.

Answer 2

Not sure why you're soo peeved off??? Doesn't make sense. He had to pop by his sisters and then text ya to say he just got home...If you didn't have the kids...why didn't you go there at 10pm????
COMMUNICATION HONESTY & TRUST are the keys to a long healthy relationship...without those you have Nothing.......Sounds like you're not sure if you believe him or not.....guess it's time to sit down with him and have a heart to heart to make sure you're both on the same page. Not sure why you don't get to spend time together...just because you have your kids 24/7 doesn't mean he can't be part of your life....ASK HIM if he;s working on Friday instead of assuming. Try to make arrangements with him for the Easter Monday. Some companies are closed on the friday and open on the monday and vice versa. If you're having "trust" issues with him......best to be upfront about it. GoodLuck*

Answer 3

Sounds like to me that you want and he is not fitting into your want. Sounds like you enjoy your time with him and don't get much time together without the children. Now you are feeling like all alone maybe when you could be spending time alone with him. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and make your own plan without him. This may be one of those times he needs to be away and have his space. I would not advise any cramping of his stile of smothering him. It will take your patience and understanding at times to realize his time cannot all be spent with you. Gettin all made and such will only make the situation worse. Throwing a fit is manipulation to get your way. This is a control issue and will back fire maybe. Be cool girl and go see a girlfriend or your parents.
Rev. TomCat

Answer 4

i wouldn't show him that you are really peeved...as it might put him off especially as he skirted around saying he couldn't make it earlier. maybe he didn't want to p you off? you don't have to spend every night together. you may have a break from your kids but he still has a life separate from you like seeing his family and you have to expect that. enjoy the night on your own with no kids or partner. to him it might seem a bit desperate.. and men get scared very easily of women who want to see them all the time lol. show him that its fine for him to do his own thing and you dint mind as long as he is being faithfull you should not have a problem. i understand that you may be peeved. but dont let a small thing ruin your relationship. good luck xx

Answer 5

You can't help the way you feel. So I would probably have been peeved too. Especially if he has said in the past that you don't spend much time together. On the other hand he probably thought nothing of it and would not understand why you might be upset about it.

Answer 6

treat em mean keep em keen you shouldve made other plans if he didnt give you a definite yes to your plans for the night dont let him think u are there to be picked up and put down you should be PEEVED at yourself get a life , he knows he working on friday yet he didnt make the most of the free time with you what does that say ?

Answer 7

Dear luz,
Sounds like he wouldn't have minded you "popping over" after his 9:58 txt. Also sounds like he really didn't know how long his visit with Sis would take and he didn't want to narrow his options with you. Maybe he didn't want to bear the consequences if he completely shut you down. Men I've known have always avoided confrontation, especially if their actions are contradicting their words. For instance if he's complained about lack of time with you and then blows you off, he's the one that's not taking advantage of opportunity, which makes him the bad guy. Men don't like to be the bad guy. Then he's opened himself to a dressing down and they don't like that either. It's the nature of the beast, hon. Surprise him and don't mention it to him, if you want to really punish him. He will squirm while waiting for your anger to express itself. Trust me, he will speak up eventually, and then you can tell him about how you wouldn't have been mad at all ?!if he would've just told you his plate was full for the evening.

Answer 8

I would say check and find out WHY he had to go to his sister's house. If it was an unexpected thing - an emergency or something - it would be perfectly reasonable for him to not know when he was coming home, and even more reasonable for him to cancel plans with you. However, if he is just avoiding the situation, it's time for him to just be a man and tell you what's wrong.

Answer 9

It all depends why he had to call round to his sisters for.
Was it something that couldn't wait?
If it was just something and nothing then yes
i too would be pissed off
knowing that we dont really get alot of time together,
and he chose now of all times to do something that was
obviously more important than seeing me :-(

Answer 10

are you sure hes going to his sisters?tell him straight coz men need that tell him you should be spending more time as family unless youre wrapped round his little finger in which case he will know!stand FIRM.