I have a child that lies about getting his homework done and knows that we can find out the truth.?

Question

He has ADD and is medicated so I do not believe that is the problem. He says he just do not want to do it. We have tried punishing and rewards. I am at a lost at what to do any more. He is 11 and in the 5th grade. He is smart and is capable of being on the honor role .

Answer 1

Have the teacher send you a syllabus of what needs to be done every day. Then check to see if he has completed it. I am sure the teacher will be willing to supply you with this. in some schools, the teacher does this at the beginning of the year, and the parents know what to expect from their children.

Answer 2

Typical behavior, actually. I had 2 brothers and they both did that. They have 5 sons amongst them and they have all done that also. One of my brothers is threatening to send his son to a military school over it. (How quickly he forgot his own childhood.)

Of course, you can't condone the lying. That is the most important thing. Luckily, in 5th grade, you have plenty of time before grades get SERIOUS. Come down on him now and fix the problem before high school. There will be a whole new set of things for him to lie about then.

If it helps, what my parents did was set the boys at the kitchen table for 1 hour of study every day after school. If they claimed that they had no homework, my parents assigned them some and it was MUCH more difficult than that that the teacher would assign. It worked. Good luck.

Answer 3

I agree with the person who talks about consistency and immediate reward/punishment.

BUT. If punishment is the only thing you dish out, that's the only thing he'll expect.

Try a carrot and stick approach. Reward him for getting it done (not money or material things, that's too easy to backfire and locks you into a pattern). But maybe you'll do something special small if he goes three days with doing all his homework, then gradually work the time longer between prizes (and increment the prizes bigger too). Praise is a great reward, and making sure he knows how much you appreciate the effort. Hugs are good too, and they show how happy doing his homework makes you. The flip side: don't yell, but be firm and strong when he doesn't do it. Yelling gets ignored.

You may also need to sit with him and work with him to do his homework. Don't do it for him, but if you meticulously go through his homework and schoolwork every night religiously then you'll either build quality time with him and show him you care not just that he does it, but about what he's doing. Also, if that's punishment, then he'll work on doing his homework faster to get away :)

But if he thinks his homework is a pain to you, he'll see it as a pain to him. But if its a way to get quality time, I think he'll respond.

Answer 4

You'll love this. 17 years ago, that was me. I was like that all through high school. My problem....I was bored...nothing was challenging. Every new assignment was something I had seen before. I needed something new. And odds are, your doctor was looking for a quick fix. There is none. And odds are medication is not the answer. He probably needs someone to challenge him one on one. It likely would benefit him to be taken out of public schools and have him taught by a professional. (You're probably thinking that teachers are professionals. That's not what I mean)

Find what it is that really drives the kid. Then you want to develop a learning plan that caters to that.

If he is interested in business, for example, teach him the math of business, the history of business, the language of business, etc. If it is music that drives him, do the same sort of plan.

Medication probably is supressing his creativity, that could destroy him. No one was there to teach me these things, so I almost failed out of school with an IQ of 148. Go figure. I had to learn everything the hard way. But I have succeeded. No I own my own business.

I would be happy to talk with you more about solving your crisis. Just send me an e-mail.

Answer 5

Take him off of the medicine. I went through the same thing myself, not with a child. I was that child..I am now an adult..My older brother did it, and now my little brother is doing it. I too was put on medication, it made me feel withdrawn, and drugged. Teachers want little adults in their classes, but when in reality, they aren't adults they are children. Children are Children and they are going to be hyper, and goof off sometimes. I think it is very interesting that it seems like everyone, including adults now have ADD. Give me a break. Children learn differently, I learn hands on. My brothers are visual learners.
The problem with me and homework was usually me being too lazy, sometimes it was the fact that I just didn't understand. I needed constant supervision, but I didn't recieve it. That is the same with my brothers. My step father helps my little brother with his homework. He stopped helping him because he trusted that the work would be completed. Well, it wasn't so his grades dropped drastically. A month went by and now my step father is helping him again and his grades are improving. No matter how sad it is for me to say this but you cannot trust in your children when it comes to homework. You need to sit with him and supervise him until he is finished. If he is by himself, he gets distracted, and doodles, or watches television, or plays with something. I lied about it because I got away with it for the time being, until my parents found out from the teacher. That still allowed me to go and play outside, or watch tv, or go see a movie. You really have to keep on top of him, but it is well worth it. At least it would have been with me, and I hope that this advice helps. Also, don't punish him by not allowing him to go outside kids need to get exercise and fresh air. That is not a punishment.

Answer 6

HHHMMM, U N M E D I C A T E HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! Einstein was believed to be add, George Washington, Tesla, Steve Jobbs of Apple, and me. Go on line and there is a huge list of A.D.D. folks that were never medicated but became great people. I am a very successful Business man and was diagnosed as add. My parents elected not to MEDICATE my problems and make it easy for them. Stop being lazy and give your kid more challenging things to do. Those medications have serious side affects later in life. Oh by the way are you on Prozac?

Answer 7

Sit down with him and help him or just be there so he won't be lonely or unfocused. Check everything every night and help him with problems that are incorrect. It also helps to start early, before playtime, so he won't be too tired. Try not to have a lot distractions either. No t.v. or radio. He may feel he's missing out on something fun and feeling left out.

Answer 8

Your problem is one of comsistently; you lack it. Explain all possible consequences for misbehavior. Tell him ONCE what is expected, and leave him alone to do it. If within the specified time he hasn't, say nothinmg more but impose the consequence IMMEDIATELY, This is of utmost importance.

Believe me, you are NOT doing this. You will find, if you are honest, that you are repeating the PROMISE of punishment over and over without doing anything! He has control; you have given it to him!

Answer 9

Stop medicating him damnit!!!!!!!!!! Its going to turn the damn kid into a zombie! Theres no such thing as ADD, just bad parents. Start discipling him. Dont be afraid to beat his *** every now and then. If you do this i GUARUNTEE you he will become a better student and better kid. He just doesnt have enough restrictions.

Answer 10

have him sit at the kitchen table to do his work while you fix dinner. but, yeah, lots of kids that age don't care about getting work done. maybe if he fails 5th grade, he'll do better next year.