Is it wrong to keep a parent from seeing their children?

Question

If they only want to wither in and out at their conveniece, and have negative effects on the child after a visit? And have never helped support/provide for the child? ......and have lost one of their children to welfare services for abusing it? Curious to know what all think.

forgot to add that these are my sisters kids my hubby and I are raising. She gave me custody 5yrs ago, and always threatens to take me to court, or make sure they hate me when they're old enough to go see her. She only calls and asks about them once every few months. I'm not worried about her taking me to court cause she would've done it within 5yrs. time if she was going to!

Answer 1

What a tough decision that is to make. I had to make the same decision when I found out that my sons father was smoking crack. I gave him the ultimatum, sober up or never see your son again. He died before he became completely clean. And I do not regret the decision I made at all. My son does wish that he knew his father better, but I have met and married a great man since who is a better role model and father figure to my son then his real father would have been.

I think that you know what you are doing, you know a lot more about the situation then you could ever portray on Y!A. There is emotional blackmail and abuse that could never be understood fully through a forum like this. I stand with you in this decision.

Answer 2

Not necessarily, but it can come back to haunt you. If you have sole custody of the child, I would talk to the family services and explain what is happening. Document everytime the other parent doesn't show up or does something detrimental to the child. I would also talk to them about finding a counselor for the child. This could have long term effects on the child. If you stop all contact with the other parent or request this sort of restriction, then the child might feel like you stopped them from being able to see their parent. Even though it seems like they should understand that you are trying to help them, they will only see you as the reason they cannot see their parent not that the parent is being irresponsible and doesn't want to be a part of the childs life anyways. It's always the parent that gives the love that becomes the scapegoat.

Answer 3

first, keep a log or diary of every phone call or visit or contact with her and make notations of how the visit went and the childs reaction to the visit and after the visit. Then call social services. They should be involved already as the only way to get "legal custody" of a child is thru the court. But these visits sound harmful to the children.

Answer 4

Hey what is the guys name? SOunds just like my ex husband. Well I always thought it was best for kids to be involved with both parents all the time. My ex used to call the kids and say that he was coming to see them and then he would not show up and the kids would be hurt and he did a number of illegal things when had them at his house such as drugs, etc. I finally told him that if he wanted to se the kids he would see them with me around and at the time we had no court order I just used to let him see them when he wanted as I did not want to keep them from him. He got mad and we went to court and the court saw it my way and ordered him to only have supervised visitation at a state run agency called CASA and he went to 1.5 visits and then quit going and he has never paid is support. My kids are fine and well rounded and they do ask about him but as I tell them he has our number it is the same as it has always been. He and his new girlfriend were living off of her child support until her ex went to court and she lost custody of her kids my ex abused them, now the do not work cuz they will get their wages garished and have to pay their support. So they live with his mom and have for over a ear now and neither of them work. So if it is better for the kids to be kept because away from dead beats like that then so be it. If the person is a good parent then yes it would aweful to keep them from their parents. If the parent is abusive be it mentally or physically then it is better for the child in the long run. That is my opinion anyway.

Answer 5

If the parent is wanting to come and out of the childs life, I would put a stop to it quick, tell them they can either be a steady part of the childs life or not be there at all. Is the visits worth all the emotional stress on the child? I would follow the laws in your state, possibly take the parent to court and get their parental rights taken away.

Answer 6

If the parent is abusing the child, the police need to be called. A child is better off with one loving parent than one and a half.

Answer 7

I only saw my dad a few times growing up and even though it had some downsides, I wouldn't trade the experiences for the world. I don't think anyone should deny a child from seeing his parents because childhood ends, and those memories can never be produced ever again. They have their whole adult lives to hate their parents for being losers, let them visit now.

Answer 8

It doesn't sound like this fair weather parent deserves to be a part of the child's life. I adopted a baby whose mom wanted it that way and I said absolutely not. It's not good for the child's development at all.

Answer 9

you really have to weigh the pros and cons here.if having the parent around is detrimental to the child then it's probably best to make a clean break. some would argue that a child needs both parents. in most cases that's true but sometimes one needs to pick the lesser of two evils

Answer 10

No it's not wrong. However if the other parent starts threatening to take you to court because you deny him visitation then you have a problem.