Premarital Sex: is it for better or worse for marriages?

Question

In your honest point of view, keep religious reference & answers to a minimal please.

. Did you have premarital sex before marriage?
. Would premarital sex education go against your religion, & why?
. What age do you think men should marry, & why?
. What age do you think women should marry, & why?
. How many partners do you think are acceptable for men before marriage, & why?
. How many partners do you think are acceptalbe for women before marriage, & why?
. Do you feel guilty or degraded, because you had premarital sex before marriage, & why?
. What would you tell your children when they become sexual active?
. Does premarital sex cause divorces, & why?

Just some sources of divorce rates, do you agree, & why?

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/11/14/weekinreview/14pamb.html?ex=1258174800&%2338;en=4f927c5f27fb9966&%2338;ei=5090
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2005-07-18-cohabit-divorce_x.htm

This is just a general question, please take no offensive from the questions/ peoples answer.

Forgot: please read the sources before answering. Thanks

Answer 1

1. Yes
2. No. Sex is viewed as something natural and not something to be ashamed of.
3. At whatever age they're emotionally mature enough to handle the responsibilities.
4. See 3
5. I don't think there is an acceptable or unacceptable number
6. See 5
7. No, because I'm human and also because...well, see below after I finish these answers
8. I'm not planning on having children, but if I did I would tell them to just be careful and don't make me a grandmother
9. No, I think it can prevent them. See below

I think sex before marriage is not only acceptable, but essential. You can be completely compatible spiritually, mentally, emotionally, intellectually...but if you are not physically compatible, the relationship is not going to be a happy one. I think most people, due to the guilt and stigma attached to sexual impulses in Western culture, underestimate just how important sex is in a relationship, especially marriage. Sexual frustration is one of the top causes of divorce in the USA, and it's largely because the people who marry each other were not sexually compatible to begin with! If they had sex before the ring, they would have known that and it would have saved a lot of heartache, not to mention money.

I know people will disagree with this, largely for religious/spiritual reasons, but my stance is that one really shouldn't buy the cow without sampling the milk first.

Answer 2

I really don't think that premarital sex, or premarital abstinence is the reason marriages fail. I think the reasons marriages fail are as individual and diverse as those who marry.

Whether or whether not I had premarital sex really is irrelevant here.

Sex education will help build better understanding and I really don't view ignorance as acceptable in any religion.

I don't think there should be a preset age on when men and women marry simply because as individuals within a particular sex we tend to mature at different levels and at different points in our lives, some mature early while others seem to never mature.

Again, I don't think the amount of partners has any bearing on whether the marriage will succeed or fail. I just don't think it's an issue here.

In terms of feeling degraded I really don't think me having premarital sex would be degrading if I enjoyed the company of the person I was with

Of course I would advise my children to abstain from sexual activity if at all possible but should they decide to I would stress the importance of safe and responsible sex.

I think that there are many reasons that causes marriages to fail, none of which directly pertains to premarital sex. Most of the time I really feel its lack of communication, of course then some people marry for the wrong reasons, being maybe a hidden agenda on the part of one of the partners, or just plain and simple marrying for the wrong reason.

Answer 3

- My husband and I are Christian
- Premarital sex - sex before marriage no, but we struggled with that, and did go a bit far physically.
- Sex education would be fine, actually encouraged, depending on what is taught. Being educated does not go against my religion.
- Age for men - Depends on the man. I'd advise about 25-30ish.
- Age for women - Same
- No partners before marriage. I don't believe in premarital sex. I believe that sex is so intimate and brings people so close that it should not happen between people who have not committed.
-Guilty, degraded from premarital sex. Did not actually have sex, but did feel a huge amount of guilt about going farther than what we intended and believe is pleasing to God. But we eventually got counsel and did better in the latter part of dating life. It was MUCH better to abstain.
- I believe it "can" cause divorce, but not necessarily always. It twists the meaning of the sexual act, which can really harm the sex life.

* About divorce rates in Red States... I'm from the Midwest but live in the Blue Northeast. My guess about the divorce rate being higher is not because of religion at all. I think it's because people in those places marry MUCH younger than in the Northeast. Maybe they get into marriages before they are ready? In the South and Midwest it is VERY common to be married between 18-22, sometimes YOUNGER. Age 25 is considered "late." In the Northeast, most folks I know marry between 25-35, when they are more settled in their life and more mature. That's my guess!!

Answer 4

.Did you have premarital sex before marriage?
Yes
.Would premarital sex education go against your religion, & why?
No. Atheist
.What age do you think men should marry, & why?
When they're mature and ready.
.What age do you think women should marry, & why?
When they're mature and ready.
.How many partners do you think are acceptable for men before marriage, & why?
Irrelevant. You marry someone for who they are and if you are compatible.
.How many partners do you think are acceptalbe for women before marriage, & why?
Irrelevant. You marry someone for who they are and if you are compatible.
.Do you feel guilty or degraded, because you had premarital sex before marriage, & why?
Heck no
. Does premarital sex cause divorces, & why?
No. If anything it helps prevent it. (Try before you buy)

I think divorce rates are higher among religious because they marry for the wrong reasons. Because it's the "religious" thing to do. Or to "reproduce". Rather than for true love. That and they probably have a higher rate of sexual dis-satisfaction.

Answer 5

I'm down with premarital sex- grandma always said- don't buy the cow without tasting the milk- she was actually talkin about cows but I think it applies here too.

*I am not married but I have had premarital sex
*2 for 1- men 27-30 women 25- 30
*However many it takes to find the right person
*no- it's natural to have sex
*use protection
*no extramarital sex causes divorce- get it outta your system before you settle down

Answer 6

-no

-no - I think intelectual knowledge about it is a good thing.

-That's up the individual my answer for man and woman is that it's ideal when you're old enough to have dated enough to make a smart decision in a spouse (not just an infatuation choice) but still young enough to be able to build a life together - the exact balance can vary by person.

-sexual partners before marriage (man or woman)? - none (personal belief).

-feeling guilty - N/A

-What will I tell my children? That depends entirely on the context of their sexual activity.

-Does pre-marital sex cause divorce? It's impossible to prove causation, but stats do show a correlation that those who have engaged in premarital sex are more likely to get a divorce. You don't have to be religious to find those stats important.

Answer 7

1. Yes
2. No. Of course not.
3. When they are adults capable of making their own decisions. That means no one should be 16 years old because they aren't an adult yet.
4. When they are adults capable of making their own decisions. That means no one should be 16 years old because they aren't an adult yet.
5. If it were over 10, I'd be worried.
6. If it were over 10, I'd be worried.
7. No. Its no ones business but my own and my partners.
8. That they need to be adults, they should love the person, and that they should practice safe sex.
9. No. Of course not. People cause their own divorces. usually by lack of respect, cheating, etc.

Answer 8

I believe that potential spouses are better than placing them on the same level as buying a new vehicle. Certainly one would test drive a car or play a guitar before buying it, but they're not humans with feelings.

One word describes it all: commitment.

Answer 9

The purpose of sex is re-creation. When sex loses its meaning, life becomes meaningless.

It takes character and responsibility to marry before having sex. These are the true winners who truly know the meaning of fulfillment in Life.

Answer 10

In many cultures, simply having sex with a person is the marriage vow.