My 5 year old is BAD?

Question

She talks back to the day care teachers, she acts mean to the kids at school. I frequently get notes sent home with her from her teacher about something wrong that she has been doing at school. I don't know what to do. Will she ever start acting right? I hate this, I feel like a horrible parent.

Answer 1

Is she ever this bad at home? I'm guessing if she was you would mention it, but i have the perfect solution for you if she only acts bad at daycare: Keep her home one day and do NOTHING. Explain to her that if she can't behave at school and get along with the other kids, then she simply can't go. When she decides she wants to behave and follow the rules, she can go back. Have a boring day with her at home. Have her help you do things around the house. By the end of the day, I'm sure you get the same answer from her that i got out of my son after i did this to him "Mom, its boring at home."
She will start acting right if correct her behavior. Set rules and guidelines at home and a punishment if they aren't followed. Give a behavior chart a try (kids love stickers!) Be strong, firm and calm with her. Don't give in. If she misbehaves she has to suffer the consequences. She will learn that you're the mommy and what you say goes. You're not a horrible parent. You wanting to fix your daughter's behavior puts you on the good parent track.
Best wishes to you and good luck! =]

Answer 2

Most little kids are "bad"...they act, well, CHILDISH. Sometimes the teachers can deal and sometimes they can't. It may not be that your child is excessively BAD it may just be that the teacher is overwhelmed by a big class size and your daughter's antics are only the proverbial last straw or one of several last straws in the class.

Don't take it personally. Your best bet is to do your best to set consistent routines and discipline in the home. If that doesn't work, have a chat with the teacher and try to come up with a "team" strategy for getting some better behavior going in the classroom. Also, if your child is ahead of the class or a little behind she could be frustrated or bored (check into it). If all else fails, have a chat with your pediatrician.

Odds are, though, your kid is just acting like a 5 year old in a class full of 5 year olds...and you're probably not the only one getting notes :)

Answer 3

Your 5 year old isn't bad. She makes bad decisions. The first thing you should do is start making that obvious to her.
Let her know that in every situation there are at least 2 choices; the right way and the wrong way. Let her know what the consequences are for the wrong one and what the benefits are when she does it correctly.
Don't expect alot of change immediately. She may enjoy the negative attention that she gets at school when she misbehaves... you just have to make the benefits out weigh the negatives. And by the way, this is cyclic behavior. In a few months after fixing her behavior, she will slide back to the bad behavior, that's her just checking to see if the rules are the same still. Continue to enforce the rules and she should respond the way you are looking for.
Also, watch your own behavior, however you chose to deal with frustration is the way she will.... anger, happiness, etc.
And you are not a bad parent.
a bad parent is the one who got the note from school and threw it in the garbage and said, "Not my problem"

Answer 4

In today's world, the first thing I do when a kid acts out is change their diet. Limit sugars, get them drinking more water, and eating veggies or cheese (if possible - yeah right!). I also think about essential fatty acids in the diet - and I found that applying olive oil directly to the skin below the ribs in the back can turn a bratty kid into an angel sometimes. Kids are also subject to stress and electromagnetics in our fast paced, electronic world. Extra magnesium (like blueberries or Epsom Salt bath) can work wonders to help them relax enough to think about what they are doing.

It sure can't hurt to try it for a bit. If it will work you will see a difference pretty quickly. I find too that my kids pick up my own emotions and tend to act out when I am under the most stress because of it. Trying to tone down our own energy - with yoga or olive oil on our backs too (helps sooth the adrenal glands) - goes a long way toward creating the kind of peace and calm that gives kids the room to relax and share and obey, or to even listen when you are talking to them.

Don't feel bad. Kids go through stages and we were never taught how to do this parenting thing. We all make our way as best we can - mother and children alike. It is often not easy for anyone. xoxo!

Peace!

Answer 5

Are you telling her she is bad? If so, you could be damaging her self esteem. Dont ever tell your child she is bad. Do you really think your child is a bad person? Of course she isnt. She is acting out, with naughty behaviour because there is a problem somewhere in her life, and its your job to help her solve it. Is there a change happening in her life? Different routine? Maybe she is finding it hard to adjust at school. Explain how her actions affect other people and explain how she will be diciplined if she makes a bad choice (no tv, no candy, time out etc). It will take some patience but things will get better, in the meantime, talk to her, find out her problems, she probably just wants more of your attention, GOOD, LOVING attention. Talk to her teachers too, sometimes they can help. Or the school / daycare counsellor. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Some parents who work are a bit lax with discipline because they feel guilty. Do you discipline her? Are you consistant with the discipline that you give her? When you discipline her, does she know its her behavior that was wrong and how to behave correctly?

You can't expect a child will just striaghten out. You need to consistantly discipline her and explain to her why she is being disciplined and what she should and should not do.

She is a child, she needs rules, discipline and also positive attention to feel secure. Its most likely that she doesn't feel that she is getting enough of the attention that she wants and is acting out. Your job as her mother is to give her the attention of a loving parent. This means correcting her when she is wrong, teaching her whats right and spending as much time with her as you can doing enjoyable things.

Whatever some here have said, this is not normal behavior. I have 3 kids, they have all acted up from time to time. However, I haven't had any problems like you are describing with them.

Answer 7

How is she talked to at home? And with your friends? Do you treat her with respect? (she is a person, little but a person). Does she now have a new sibling at home? What happened to get her to act like this at day care? How do the teachers treat her? With respect? How do they talk to her? Does she talk back to you at home? Or act mean? She sounds like she angry about something. Did she/or does she still have temper tantrums at home? Is she spoiled at home? Does she always want her own way at home? If so, does she always get her way at home? It sounds like you need to sit down with her on an afternoon, with milk and cookies, or ice cream (something to snack on), and ask her what is going on. I just thought of this--is she allergic to anything that you are aware of? A food, or cologne, or something? Pollen? Please consider having her checked for allergies. If need be, for the behavior, talk with her pediatrician on this. Or, you could look into parenting classes to help on this matter. That does not say you are a bad parent, just could use some assistance. In some areas. She will do better, honest. Are you a single mom? Is this daycare thing new to her? That may be at least in part why she is acting the way she does at day care. Or, she could be afraid or not like certain kids there as well. I wish you the best. Take care. Oh yes, my son, several years ago, would not want to get out of the car when we approached a certain daycare. I found ot why, he was afraid of a bigger kid there. So I changed day cares. Did better.

Answer 8

That is normal behavior actually. I would suggest seeking out other parents with children the same age for advice. Also I would ask her teachers were the see the most problems in her behavior. See if the have any suggestion and work on the problems

Answer 9

Try and go to a family therapist if you can. It sounds like she has a lot of anger in her and could be acting out due to stuff happening in her life. But of course no one can know for sure except the therapist. And I don't think she is bad. Many children act this way when they are insecure due to an unstable household which could be caused by many things ie divorce, adoption etc.

Answer 10

I think you need to first figure out why she is behaving so badly. It might be influence from tv or from other friends. It might even be that you don't discipline her hard enough. You need to be strict with her and tell her what is the right thing to do and what is not. If it is a tv show, just don't let her watch it. At such a young age, you should be able to correct her if you start now. I'm sure you can do it! Good luck!