BBW question?

Question

A plus-sized girl asked me out on a date and I told her I would be busy that evening and said we should do it another time. Now, I am not superficial and I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I have never been with nor really attracted to a larger woman. Should I give it a chance & go out with her, or turn her down? I would appreciate answers from guys who are currently with or dated bigger gals and bigger gals themselves. Thanks

Also she is beyond just a few extra pounds. I would estimate her weight between 300-400lbs

Wow! Thanks to everyone for their responses. I think I will go out with her, like I said I am not someone who holds a bias, but I haven't been approached or really considered dating a bigger woman, but I could be missing something great. I will do it and post a message regarding the outcome of the date :)

SAK thank you for your answer, I really respect your opinion. I am a very empathetic person who tries to respect and understand others, that is why I was surprised when I felt reluctant to the offer of a date. I have known her for 3 months, we go to the same school, but my interactions with her have been limited. Also, do you have any recommendations of where we should go or things I should be sensitive about?

Answer 1

Take her for a date, what the hell right, you don't need to kiss her or sleep with her, she just wants some company.
I've noticed being a bi-sexual woman, that the larger girls have a head on their shoulders and a great personality,now again, that doesn't mean you need to be her boyfriend, just do a little dance, and show her the love!

Answer 2

Well, I'm not obese myself, but I'm a bit chubby around the edges (like I could stand to lose 10 pounds). I definitely think you should give this woman at least a shot! What do you think she'd feel like if she found out that you didn't go on this date with her just because she was overweight? Now I'm not calling you shallow, but many people would see this as shallow behavior. Yes, give this woman one more chance. You may find that even if you're not interested in that kind of a relationship with her, you two could at least be very good friends. <3

Answer 3

You can't force yourself to be attracted to people that you are not. I happen to like bigger girls, although I think a girl over 300 lbs would be stretching it. If you have zero attraction and don't find big women attractive, I don't see the point of taking her out, unless you believe in pity dating. Sure you guys can be great friends, but dating is something entirely different all together.

Answer 4

Okay I'm a big girl myself. There needs to be some sort of attraction there. There could be some potential if you got to know her though, if you are not superficial as you say then there can be attraction beyond physical means if she has a personality that you desire. Perhaps you should give it a chance, but make it casual as others have said and see what happens.

Answer 5

You say you're not superficial, then why would you care how much she weighed if she is pretty & a good person?

I used to be a very big girl and I had to deal with guys who would just beat around the bush and hope that I would lose interest.

She asked you out, which means she has self-confidence and likes herself. This is a good sign.

And if you are not interested or attracted to her, just tell her "I'm not interested in dating you, but we can be friends." and hold to that or you will be known to her friends as 'scum'.

Answer 6

I'm a BBW---I had a bf for three years, would have been longer, even marriage, but circumstances changed that. He was slender compared to me-he told me he did not respect one size of woman vs another. He looks at the woman, individually. Please, consider going out with her. I, for one, am one who empathizes with people, and respect as well. She sounds like she may have a caring heart. However, it all depends on the woman, and her personality. My ex bf and I were out for karoke one night, and there was another BBW there, dancing by herself. I asked my bf to dance with her, he did, but he was uncomfortable with her due to her wanting to be held close, and he didn't want to be so close to her. Just because we aren't "model size" on the outside, does not mean we are bad people. How long have you known this lady? What is her personality like? Do you like her personality? Then please, seriously at least consider going out with her at least one time, get to know her a bit better, and if you don't like her, then, turn her down for another date. Then, you could tell her it just wasn't working. If that turns out to be the case, you would be honest with her, by telling her that. We BBW that have big caring hearts, really are okay people. Take care.

Answer 7

Just be honest and say you are not interested in her that way. Leave out the part that you are not attracted to bigger girls...no reason to go there with her. And know that, big girl or small, there is no real way avoid the hurt that comes with rejection. It happens, but best to let it happen now.

Answer 8

Sometimes big girls are better. I am larger (but not as large as her). My boyfriend actually likes me better then the thinner girls he dated. Some smaller girls are more superficial and only will date you because of the way you look and the reputation it gives them. Dating a bigger girl, you will probably date someone who will like you for you. Plus, my boyfriend says he doesn't have to worry that he might break me in half in the bedroom.

Answer 9

I like a girl who is way heavier than me but not more than 250 lb. But I would suggest you go with her. You don't lose anything just by going out with her you might make her day. Don't look at her size look at her heart. Just go out with her like a friend. Just think about it if you are big man and ask a woman maybe just like a friend and you get ignored.

She probably is already feeling rejected. Just go and see and make her day you dont have to date her to go out with her.

Answer 10

Apparently you're having second thoughts about this or you wouldn't ask us. If you find that she's a nice person, why don't you just go out and have coffee with her? That doesn't mean you have to marry her, or even go out with her again. Who knows--maybe you'll find yourself attracted to her. And think of it this way--she must have some self-confidence to have the ba!!s to ask you out!! It's more than I'd be able to do!