Okay, so I have a friend who is 19. He used to live in the same town as this 14 year old girl, before going to college. This girl is really mature, but still. They are both Christians and they spend tons of time together when he visits. They haven't done anything together. They problably haven't even really kissed, but it's weird. I told him that, but he said that I don't understand. Apparently, they really actually love eachother. They're planning on dating in like three or four years, when she turns 18. Any opinions? is it okay? If not, how do I convince him?
2007-04-04 08:50:00 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
(ha, someone asked me if I was jealous... no, not at all. I have a boyfriend whom I love and adore. This guy is just a really good friend)
2007-04-04 08:57:21 · update #1
Honestly you can not change his mind, and it would only damage your friendship to try. Age is not the important thing, honoring Christ in the relationship and their lives is. I know that it is strange, and I do not think that I would do, but do not be too quick to condemn the relationship. I would say spend time in prayer and help keep him accountable to honoring Christ in the relationship! Good luck and God bless.
2007-04-04 08:55:56 · answer #1 · answered by GodsGrl4Real 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Forget one's religious beliefs. A 19 year old dating or persuing a 14 year old is wrong. Both morally and legally. I don't care how mature the 14 year old thinks she is. At that age she isn't old enough to handle a relationship outside of "puppy love". At 14, she still has a lot of growing up to do. The 19 year old can get into serious legal trouble and should stay away.
Also if you are planning on dating each other in 3 or 4 years, that is pretty optimistic considering that in time you two may or may not be interested in each other anymore. Time apart has a funny thing about changing people.
Do each other a favor. Date people your own age. Nobody goes to jail that way.
2007-04-04 08:59:37 · answer #2 · answered by davester1970 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a Christian, no they should never be alone together. He should be with a girl who is 18 or over. We have to draw the line somehwere,and I believe the law drew it at 16. Every guy says his 14 y.o. child date is 'mature for her age'' .
I babysat at 14; other people's kids, for extra spending money., At 19 I was married and expecting a child.
No, they are not putting God first in their lives. A 14.y o. has nothing to entice a young man with, [her wit? her feminine wiles? her life experiences?] don't make me laugh. All she has is her physical body and that is what is on his mind 24/7.. She is middle school and He is well out of highschool. You all know without my advice this is wrong. Many very young girls are extremly romantic and think they'd love to have an older guy be in charge and tell them things they dream about- someone they belong to---then at 23 she'll start to realise all that she missed as a teen and cannot go back to it. Even w/out sex, these are her teens years!! he is stealing them.
2007-04-04 09:03:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok that's kinda strange. I'm 14 and a christian . i would pray. seriously think about it before i even considered it . he is a guy and guys make mistakes even if they're both Christians. is her parents ok with this ?? i know mine wont even if i say i was in love with him . maybe she is or maybe she is saying it because its the first older guy who likes her . plus if he finds another girl the same age he is , which is possible, he is going to break up with the 14 year old and she will be hurt . and if he loves her he will wait till she is 18 and he look out for her best interests . she may act mature but it doesn't mean her heart is mature. tell him these things and even if he starts to get mad at u tell him your only trying to be a good friend. best of luck on this
2007-04-04 08:59:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok.
First off, I'm a Christian. Second, I dated an adult while I was still a minor. He was 19 and I was 15.
I do NOT think that this is wrong.
As long as the parents are okay with their relationship, then its perfectly okay for them to be together, and as long as they dont have sex.
He has a right to be with that girl if he wants to. He obviously enjoys spending time with her, and she has proved herself to be mature enough for him.
And they havent even done anything yet! I think that this is all perfectly fine.
If they really love eachother like you say they do, then your thinking that its weird shouldnt stand in the way of how they feel about eachother. And since they are even planning to wait until they are both legal adults to actually date, then I definately think that this is okay.
If they arent going to do anything until they are both legal adults, then whats the big deal??
2007-04-04 09:00:11 · answer #5 · answered by NoNameNoFace 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
THE LAW SAYS ITS NOT OK. and here in kansas, there would be an arrest warrant waiting on the guy....and he'd be charged with RAPE, since Kansas doesnt have a "statutory rape" statute....and the law says anything involving a minor child under the age of 15 is an automatic RAPE with a prison sentence of 25 to 40 years minimum.
2007-04-04 08:56:09 · answer #6 · answered by do_sctc145 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If their relationship is totally platonic and both sets of parents feel that it is okay there is nothing else that can be done or said. If they understand that they need to wait until she is of a decent age to be dating a 19 year old and he is willing to wait and maintain a friendship while waiting for a relationship I say God Bless them. I say it will be difficult for him to wait and she may not be as interesting to him once she becomes available (that is if someone hasn't caught his eye in the many years in between). And that's if she doesn't start to be interested in someone more her own age. Good luck to them and God Bless.
2007-04-04 08:54:41 · answer #7 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
remind your Guy friend that she is still a minor and what they could be doing is against the law. He doesn't have to touch her to get into trouble all she has to do is say the wrong thing to the wrong person
2007-04-04 08:54:33 · answer #8 · answered by Maggi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There time together should be limited until she turns 18, then they can decide if they still want to date. Im not shure how you can convince him tho.... thats a tuf one. I guess just tell him to pray bout it, and respect her and her parents wishes.
2007-04-04 10:09:55 · answer #9 · answered by Paul 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you jealous and want to break them up?
2007-04-04 08:53:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋