Is my bf blowing me off?

Question

Okay so my bf is usually super busy. I know that and I understand, but lately he seems like he's blowing me off. I want to talk to him about how I'm feeling but I'm afraid of losing him. I think I should call him, and I know he wont answer today, and leave him a message saying I need to talk to him and it's important. But after that I dont know what to say. Help?

Okay. Let me clarify. I'm not desperate. I dont always call him, I call him about once a week. Maybe twice.

I dont want to lose him because we've been together for 6 months now and I dont want to just give that up.

Answer 1

If he really wants to be in a relationship with you, he needs to make you a priority. If you don't like the way he is making you feel, and he won't even take the time to answer the phone when you call, give him an ultimatum. Right now, it doesn't sound like he's treating you like his girlfriend. He should treat you like a PRINCESS! :D It sounds like you're a backup plan. If he doesn't have anything else going on (which seems like that's a rarity since you said he's so busy) then he can always call you up and hang. But only when HE needs something to do. Its 2007!! We girls don't have to be submissive little prizes for our boys. Its fine to be sweet and to love and do things for them, but for him to think that he can just completely take advantage of you and your feelings for him is not too good. As hard as this sounds, don't be afraid of losing him. Also, if he's super busy, couldn't you HELP him do some of his stuff so yall can be together then, and you can hang out afterwards too? Ask him if thats okay. P.S. Guys hate the "we need to talk" message. He won't call you back. Wherever you guys usually see each other, pull him aside and tell him you need to talk to him, its important, and he can either pick a time later THAT day to do it, or you can have that conversation right then and there, and tell him it is NOT a convo he wants to have in public. He'll probably tell you a time later to talk, and if he doesn't, then tell him you are tired of him not making time for you and treating you like a doormat. Guys HATE to be called out in front of their friends. Its maybe one of the worst things a girl can do to them. So really don't do that, because that will make him angry, not want to spend time with you. Just don't take no for an answer. He can't be busy all night long. Tell him you'll meet him at his house at 10 or something. And then talk to him, as calm as possible, and not whiney because that may bug him. Just tell him you don't like your role in the relationship and if he doesn't do something to make time for you, then you are taking off and he's gonna have to find another "Stepford Wife" to be at his beck and call.

Answer 2

A good relationship is about communication and compromise, and it sounds like he's not doing much of either. Being supportive is one thing - bending over backwards for him and totally stifling your own pursuit of happiness in favor of his own is quite another.

You don't mention why he's always so super busy - is it something unavoidable or is he choosing to be busy and unavailable most of the time?

In either case, you should talk to him about it. Be honest. Tell him that you want to be supportive, but it's very hard when you never get to see him or talk to him. Tell him that you're feeling ignored and suspect that he's blowing you off. Ask him why. You don't have to say it in an accusatory tone, just matter-of-factly. Suggest some sort of compromise - for example, at least one night a week where he lays aside all of his other concerns and spends time with you. Or ask him to promise to return your calls on the same day, if you promise not to call him constantly.

In any case, you should definitely not sit around pining away for him. If the conversation does not go well, and you're not ready or willing to break up with him, then get out there and make a life of your own. If things don't improve, perhaps you should consciously make *yourself* unavailable and busy ("Sorry, I'd really like to go out Saturday, but I already made plans with my girlfriend. Maybe another time?") If he still doesn't get the picture, then you need to ask yourself why you're investing so much more in this relationship than he is.

Answer 3

Doesn't sound like an ideal relationship if you are afraid of losing him if you tell him how you feel....that is very onesided. If you can't talk openly about this stuff, you shouldn't be with him.

I understand that people, both men and women, need their independance, space and separate friends but if you are going to be together, then the relationship must fall somewhere at the top of the list - not as an afterthought.

Answer 4

Some people are truly busy when they say they are.

However, increasing recurring incidents of "having to go" or "I want to hang out with some other friends" might give you reason to worry.

Also look for him wanting to oddly wanting to invite other friends to join you during occasions or times usually spent between the two of you. If this is the case, it may signal a growing disinterest.

By all means, call him and let him know where you are coming from and let him know that it only works when you both want to see and be with each other.

Answer 5

I think you should tell him exactly what you're telling everyone here. Let him know first how much you care about him and you just want to make sure that things are ok because you feel like he's blowing you off. I would try to keep everything in the "I" instead "You" if you know what I mean. This way it's not like you're pointing fingers or blame at him. You're just saying how you feel.

Answer 6

i think of all of it comes right down to jealousy. while one guy or woman in a relationship does not play WoW or a activity like it, and yet another does, the only that doesn't feels jealous of the time that the different one is spending on the activity. So there desires to be supply on the two factors. at a similar time as the WoW participant desires to realize that he/she would be able to't spend all his/her time enjoying, the the different guy or woman interior the relationship desires to settle for that WoW is something substantial to to them. And the launch of the activity is obviously something that he/she has been looking forward to, so why could one desire to take the exhilaration of it finally being obtainable away? it is merely easy mean and unfair.

Answer 7

If you are not comfortable telling him how you are feeling because you are afraid of losing him then you are not being yourself in this relationship and are walking on egg shells. If you guys break up because you tell him that you think he's not spending time with you on purpose, then good riddance.

Why in the world would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? No dignity at all in your bones?

Answer 8

Just tell him what you think...ask him is he is blowing you off ...that way YOU are giving him the opportunity to tell you the truth if thats the case. If he is ...thank him for his candor and move on... find someone out there who will make time to be with you, AND respect you and your feelings.

Answer 9

You should never let any man treat you like that!! Don't be afriad of losing a man... There are more fish in the sea... You need to make sure that you are truthful to your self and talk to him about it... You cant let it be a big wait on your chest!!

Answer 10

Just say it how it is.

There is no easy way. A good relationship is based on communication and trust.
if you can't trust that he wants your time, then communicate about it. Maybe you'll find that he has his own insecurities that he was too afraid to ask you.
Good luck.