Trust issue? what do you think?

Question

My gf and I have been dating for nearly 2 years and we've talked about marriage. Just recently she started tripping about things, been searching through my emails and reading the text messages in my phone while i'm in the shower and such. I have a friend that i've known for 3 years, we know nothing is going to happen between us, but sometimes we talk dirty to each other. My gf has met my friend through a photoshoot that we did for her. Anyways she says she know the girl likes me and that I should cut off all contact with her. Just recently, like within the past two days she called someone who works for Verizon and had them to pull all of my friends text messages, the guy did it and called her back and emailed her all the text messages my friend either sent or recieved from me. I feel totally violated and now I feel liken some one is always watching me for every little thing I do. I talked with my gf and told her I don't appreciate it and I can't believe she has trust issues.

She say she don't have trust issues, tell me what you think I should do aboutthis situation

we are in our 30's and I have found emails and text messages where she was texting people and telling them sexual stuff too, she even has a friend that had a sexual relationship wityh her and he comes to our house every now and then. I totally trust her, while i'm here at work she's at home she 's running errands and things of that sort, but I never felt like she cheated on me. I toned things down completely with my friend, now its just a hey how you doing type of thing and thats it.

Answer 1

Yeah, if she can't trust you, then thats no good... But it does sound a little bit suspicious that even though "nothing is going on" between you and this other girl, that you guys "talk dirty." Probably because if that other girl likes you, then she isn't playing and you're leading her on... Also, how old are you guys? Old enough to be talking about marriage? If yall are still in HS, then she'll learn to trust you, just prove to her you can be trusted. The fact that she got ALL your texts from and to this girl sounds not right though... I'm pretty sure she would have to verify a lot of stuff to get all the way there, and even then, I don't think they send out other people's texts... If they do... I don't think that's legal. Talk to someone at Verizon and ask them if they do that, because if they don't then she WAY invaded your privacy and tell her that and that you just want her to stop. Tell her that you wouldn't want her talking dirty to another guy friend of hers, and you'll not do it anymore with this other girl. Because your gf probably feels like if you get tired of her, you just have this other girl as a backup plan and you'll just dump her for the other girl. Do things to prove to her that she CAN trust you. And tell the OTHER girl that even though yall USED to do that, you can still be friends but she really just needs to respect the fact that you have a girlfriend. If you were her boyfriend, she wouldn't want you flirting with another girl, just the way your gf feels right now. Does that make sense? Hope it helps!

Answer 2

It sounds like she doesn't trust you if she's snooping around and having all your text messages forwarded to her email inbox. Of course, her argument could be that if you don't have anything to hide, then you shouldn't mind if she reads your text messages. But, on the other hand, your argument could be that if you're telling her all there is to know, and since you're not hiding anything, she doesn't need to be reading all your text messages. You could try explaining to her that it's just casual dirty talk, but she'll probably get jealous and suspicious that there is more than just talk going on between you and this other girl. You might need to re-evaluate why you are still talking to this other girl, and if your feelings for this other girl are seriously strictly platonic, then your girlfriend should trust you and shouldn't be invading your privacy. However, you have to be honest with your girlfriend if you have feelings for this other girl, because then her concern would be justified (although I'm not sure she went about things the right way, going behind your back like that), and she might push you more to stop talking to this other girl.

Answer 3

First, you have given her a total reason to be concerned about trust issues. Friend or not, I would be bent if I found out my BF was doing that with another woman, because I know I deserve the respect to not have that done to me, and he can expect the same from me. Whether she has met or not or whatever, you have to realize that this is out of the blue for her too. How fair is it to her to have a man that she is in love with and wants to marry sending sex messages to someone else. I can see why you feel violated, but can you see why she doesn't trust you? Marriage should be considered after counselling if this is going to work for you guys.

Answer 4

It does not take action to damage trust, just suspicion.

You know better than to talk dirty with someone other than your girlfriend. Imagine how mad you would be if she was talking to someone else.

If its not a big deal, and just a friend - stop. Just stop. Your friend shouldn't be worth losing your girlfriend over, and a true friend wouldn't be doing that while you were with someone anyway.

That calling Verizon story screams of total BS. Are you 100% sure you aren't just having trouble coming to grips with the fact that you are having difficulty being committed in a relationship?

Answer 5

Whether you are guilty or not is besides the point. She has no right to snoop through your stuff. I think no matter what you do to reassure the girlfriend, she will always have trust issues with you. She is insecure and people like that rarely change.

The Verizon employee violated policy. If you want to take action against that employee, he/she will be fired, and they are well deserving of it.

Answer 6

okay that is just going overboard... most of the time when people have trust issues its because they are isecure about themselves and cant except the fact that the person that they are with really wants to be with them... there is not much you can do... she is going to have those feelings regardless of what you say to her... so just remind her everyday that you love her and she is the only person you want to be with and leave the rest up to her... you didi your part but the rest has to come from her... the whole thing with you friend...the talking dirty thing should stop of tone down a little, and try not to make your relationdhip with your friend seem like more than what it is... good luck

Answer 7

maximum of those solutions are incredibly, incredibly unhappy. look, i've got been harm by ability of human beings yet i'm no longer specific. human beings harm one yet another because of the fact we are human. And it is genuine, there are maximum of human beings obtainable you may no longer have confidence. however the genuine question is: do you harm, misinform, and manage others? Are somebody perpetuating the topics that save you from trusting human beings? i think the excellent in human beings considering that's the only there is to stay for me. If i'm incorrect? i'm getting harm. yet while i replaced into somebody who could no longer have confidence every physique and believed the worst, then whether I did meet somebody actual, i does no longer see that. i could in basic terms see my very own bitterness and mistrust and that i could omit out on the prospect to understand the few reliable human beings there are obtainable. So i'm no longer a suspicious guy or woman, in spite of no count if thinks i'm naive or no longer. i'm a Taurus.

Answer 8

Think you should reassure your gf that she's important to you. In all fairness she is acting wierd but deep within that is a distress call to you and if you love her make sure she does. There is no real definitionof what constitutes cheating and frankly most people with agree that talking dirty to people other than ur gf/bf/spouse would tick them off.

Answer 9

I think you put those insecurities there. How would you think of her if she were the one sending dirty text to an old friend she swears is just a friend. no matter how much you tried to believe it it would eat at you. There should be no reason why you can't keep your friendship with your friend clean, talking dirty always leads to unexpected things.

Answer 10

Coming from someone who has been cheated on, I think I would feel uncomfortable if my man was talking dirty to someone else. Let me ask you this.....would you be ok with her talking dirty to another man? Maybe she is just feeling self conscious and insecure right now. Give her that little extra attention, let her know you love her. Sometimes us girls just need that.