A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Quiet!" snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you spend the night in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,"
"And I said be quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you, the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the guy in the cell. "I'm the groom."
2007-04-04 06:25:27 · 21 answers · asked by Erina♣Liszt's Girl 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
funny.....i love it!!! got any more?....i've got two for ya:
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A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off.
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?
The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that
there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."
"Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant, and she preceded to the restroom. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand!
Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender,
"Would you like a drink?"
"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the fig leaf on the statue is lifted up, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?"
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In the Hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.
"I'm afraid I am the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces, "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky, and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?" The Doctor quickly responded, "$5000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."
The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?"
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and then to the entire group said, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've been used.
I thank you!!
2007-04-04 06:33:21 · answer #1 · answered by Cori 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
one million.Why did frosty there snow guy pull down his pants? because of the fact he heard the snow blower coming. 2.Astronomy Professor: What motives a one million/2 moon? student:once you may no longer get your denims over your thighs. 3. Johnny: My brother merely opened uup a keep. Tina: incredibly? How's he doing? Johnny: Six months...... he opened it with a crowbar. it incredibly is all I have been given suited now desire you liked em'
2016-11-07 05:08:12 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't that funny (maybe because I heard it before) but at least it gave the guy more time to consider what he was about to make. I like Kimmy's better. Never heard those.
2007-04-04 06:49:07 · answer #3 · answered by Jay9ball 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha. that's funny. sorry i'm in a bad mood because someone thought it would be funny and falsely reported abuse. im kinda upset. but good one. inside im LMAO.
2007-04-04 06:35:26 · answer #4 · answered by niciash_12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha! Funny! lol! 10!
2007-04-04 08:07:02 · answer #5 · answered by cats 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate cops that don't want to listen to what you have to say!
2007-04-04 06:34:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear.
2007-04-04 06:29:28 · answer #7 · answered by taxed till i die,and then some. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your's was funny but kimmy's was just truly lol!! ?I loved them jokes!! got any more??
2007-04-04 07:12:34 · answer #8 · answered by mynameismebutidontknowdidit 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you did try to be funny
2007-04-04 06:33:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hilarious
2007-04-04 06:29:29 · answer #10 · answered by lushpoppy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋