Do you agree with punishing a child (3) for pooping in their panties?

Question

My daughter just turned 3 and has done good at the potty training thing, as long as she has to pee. But she still wont go to the potty to poop. Even if we take her to the potty and tell her to poop or if we ask her every hour. She knows its gross, cause she will come to me with her head down and say "Moma, I poopoo'ed." My husband feels she knows better and should be punished when she poops in her panties. I dont know if I think that is the best solution. I have never potty trained a girl before, so I dont know if it is harder for them to learn to poop in the potty than it is for them to pee in it.

Answer 1

I don't think punishing a child for having accidents while potty training is a good idea. It could turn them away even more. You should try positive reinforcement. Tell her that every time she successfully "poopoo's" in the potty, you'll give her a special treat. But only if she goes IN the potty. As she gets more accustomed to using the potty for B.M.'s, you should adjust the reward schedule. Say that if she uses the potty successfully all week, you'll take her out for ice cream or something. And so on. She should catch on. But remember, the harder you push, the more they will fight you. Good luck!

Answer 2

Okay this is a rebeling age. My fiance has a 4 year old and my 4 year old is completly potty trained if is a huge step back but I've found that the reward system helps so for example TEAGAN my fiance's 4 year old rebels because his mommy and daddy aren't together and he just is laxy! So I go to the store and get some 99 cent cars and some bubble bath and bath stuff some suckers and some thing he likes (bubbles or what not) I sit him down and how him our treasure box and tell him that if he doesn't go to the potty in the potty that he can't have a prize at the end of the week if he has been good and not had accidents we treat him to ice cream or going to the park or some kind of major prize this means less stress on you and the child and you both are happy. Accidents happen and you should make a big deal she might be wanting you attenion and doing that because she knows it upsets you! Try the putting stars up for each time she goes potty on a poster board as well. Make a grid of times she goes potty in the potty and make a sad face when she has accidents. Hope this helps remember reward her for going potty and make it fun not OMG I'm in trouble. I tried that of punishing Teagan and it was like butting heads with him. He was worse than your daughter though he would hide or he would smear it all over the toilet and on himself (EKKKKK!) So anyway just remember she gets busy and she wants you to notice her good or bad.

Answer 3

If it is that bad. Then call the hospital you gave birth at. Ask them to give you a dosage recommendation for Glycerin suppositories. My daughter had really bad constipation for quite sometime and this is the only thing that made a significant change. No amount of juice was helping. As this age,her poop should not have any form-it should be paste like. This link is info about what we used. All it does is the liquid goes up into your babies bowel and helps break it down so it passes easier. Since the poop is ready to come out already-the juice won't help her this time. It's more preventative in helping her be regular-on a regular basis. _edit_ I tried replying to your message-but it said you do not accept mail so.. If her hospital is out of state,then just call a local hospital and ask to speak to any nurse. And no it's not a laxative. It is a little tube of liquid that you place just a little bit into your babies rectum and squeeze out how much the nurse tells you to. Won't be much since she's young. A laxative would be something that is taken orally-and that could have harsh side effects on such a young baby,which is why I think the suppository works better. And much quicker. My daughter's doctor never recommended a laxative,just the juice and these suppositories.

Answer 4

Punish is probably not the right word. Your child should know that you do not like it when she has accidents, You can say something like, "You only go poo-poo in the potty, I'm not happy that you went in your pants". Then at a time when your just casually talking, mention to her how all big girls go poo-poo in the potty and when she goes in the potty, she'll be such a big girl. Three year olds also love stickers, a sticker when she does go will make more of a positive impression than a punishment when she doesn't. good luck!

Answer 5

No! Don't punish the child. When they are physically and emotionally ready, they will do this on their own... I tried for MONTHS to get my daughter to use the potty, and she wanted no part of it... So I put her back in diapers. One morning, she woke up, I went to change her, and she said "Mom, I'm a big girl now. I don't need that anymore". She's had a grand total of 3 accidents in the 3 years since. It'll come, just give it time.

Answer 6

I think your husband should be punished for being such an ******!!!
Why the heck would you punish a little girl for having accidents in her pants? She is 3, not 13!!! It happens to most kids.. they wear diapers for so long and get use to doing their business in their pants it takes time to train them to go in the toilet.. Give her some time..
reward her for going on the potty.. don't ever punish a child while potty training.. that is ridiculous!

Answer 7

No, it is not sugested that you punish a child for their potty accidents. You just clean up the mess and tell her next time to go on the potty. When she does go on the potty, give her lots of praise.

Answer 8

"Knowing better" and control over her body are two different things. No you should not punish her - accidents do happen after all. Potty training is a one step forward, two steps back process.

Answer 9

No, dont punish. Reward for successes. Pooping always seems to be harder to learn than peeing. IF you punish at this point , you could get undesirable effects -- chronic constipation or poop smearing behavior.

Answer 10

NO! potty training should be a rewarding experiance... punishing her for pooping her pants will only sloe the progress you have made.
Later toilet-training, like late walking, may be your child's normal developmental pattern and one shared by mom or dad when they were in training. The nerves and muscles involved in toileting may not yet be mature. Suspect this cause if your child has been on the late end of normal in other developmental milestones. Most children are well on their way to daytime bowel and bladder training by three years. If by that time you and your child have made no progress, in addition to consulting your baby's doctor, consider:

1. Consider Medical Reasons
A child won't perform any bodily function that hurts. Constipation is painful, often causing tiny tears in the rectum while the child is straining, which further makes the child hold onto his bowel movements and a painful cycle continues. Suspect this if your child squats, grunts, and painfully grimaces but produces nothing. Starting the day with a stool-softener breakfast (fresh fruits, whole grain fiber-rich cereal, and lots of fluids throughout the day) can open resistant little bottoms. (See )
Bottom burning from food allergies could be another culprit. Look for the telltale allergic ring and raw area around the anus. High-acid foods, such as citrus fruits, and lactic-acid-producing foods, (such as dairy products) are the usual offenders. Diarrhea stools during the flu or after taking antibiotics may also temporarily hinder bowel control. (See treating )
2. Are you pushing too hard?
Class may have begun too early, during a negative stage, or teacher and pupil may be clashing. Ask yourself what could be happening, or not happening, in your baby's life that makes him reluctant. Consider backing off awhile and taking inventory of the following emotional slumps that may slow training:
Is baby going through a negative phase in which he is not receptive to anything new?
Is there a disturbing situation in the family: a new baby, a major move, family stress, long working hours, a return to work, or an illness?
Is your child angry? Anger shuts down proper functioning of all physiologic systems, especially toileting.
3. Rewards that work.
Make toilet-training a fun game. Put a sticker chart next to the toilet. Every time he goes potty on his own, he gets a sticker. After several stickers, he gets a social treat. Also try putting two coin jars in the bathroom. Every time he goes on his own (even with help and prompting) let him take a coin out of the full jar and put it into his own jar. Sure, he may make frequent trips to the potty to get more coins, but it's cheaper than diapers.
4. Dump the diapers.
It's okay to fib a bit. Some babies will not be toilet trained until they give up their diapers. One day simply announce, "The store doesn't have anymore diapers" or "The diapers are all gone." Let him run around outside (if it's warm enough) bare-bottomed with only a long shirt on. Or, chance going bare-bottomed in the house. (What you spend on carpet cleaning, you'll probably save on diapers.) Going bare-bottomed encourages him to take more responsibility for his bodily functions.
5. Set a toileting routine.
The best time for a bowel movement is around twenty minutes after a meal. Let your son sit on the potty after a meal- preferably after breakfast-so he gets into a daily toileting routine.
6. Share the load.
If your three-year-old is still having "accidents" that you feel are caused by laziness, inattentiveness, or just wanting to be a baby again, let him share the responsibility of cleaning up after himself-not in a punitive way, but in a responsible way. Show him how to wash out his pants and then put them in the hamper to be washed. Expect older children to regress during a negative stage, during a family upset, or shortly after the arrival of a new sibling. If you feel that he is old enough to take responsibility for his bodily functions, temporarily ignore the pant soiling, giving him the message that if he wants to be uncomfortable walking around in poopy pants, that's his choice. You want him to get the message that this is his responsibility, not yours. If you feel he's soiling his pants to get extra attention from you (a bottom clean-up is certainly a lot of hands-on attention), increase the positive attention you give him in ways other than attending to his clean-ups. Give him special jobs to do around the house and special one-on-one outings with one parent. You want to give him the message that positive behavior gets better attention from you than negative behavior.
7. The control issue.
This may be your child's way of maintaining control over one area of his life that you can't control. If you hold the reins tightly in other areas (choice of clothing, tidiness, choice of pastimes, and so on) don't be surprised if he becomes a hold-out in this area. It may also be the only way he knows to stay little longer. This may be the time to close the lid on the potty for a few weeks or months, tune into your child, have some fun, and strengthen the bond. If your child is already emotionally upset and has shaky self-esteem, be careful not to give the message that your child's value depends upon performance. This number one no-no in parenting is a sure strikeout, whether in toilet-training or in Little League. A caregiver's role in toilet- training is that of a facilitator: Set the conditions that make it easier for the toddler to go. The rest is up to the child