My 9 year old son likes playing with girl toys. Is this normal?

Question

My son is 9 years old. He has an older brother and two younger brothers. He likes to play with Bratz, My Little Pony toys, Care Bears, and The Littlest Pet Shop stuff and likes jewerly. He also likes boy toys, like Star Wars action figures, Power Rangers, Pokemon and loves to play video games. When he plays some video games, though, when there is a choice to be a male or female character, he will chose a female. He has boy friends at school but mostly girl friends, he has a crush on a girl in his grade and says he thinks she is pretty. Is there any reason for me to worry about him being gay when he grows up? He doesn't play with girl toys as much as he used to and seems to be outgrowing it. I hope that he does, but he sometimes gets made fun of for the things that he likes. He is also small for his age and is smaller than all the boys in his grade.

Answer 1

The best thing to do for your son is to encourage him to be his own person and to do what he likes. Playing with "girl" toys is not a sign of sexual orientation. What you described is a senstive boy who likes ponies, bears, and pets - animals. Similarly, his interest in Bratz dolls is no different from power rangers or star wars action figures - they are moldable modles of humans in which he can develop and explore the world.

As for having more friends that are girls - perhaps he is uncomfortable with his size and so when all the boys in his class are playing tackel football or picking teams your son would rather save himself the embarassment and play with the girls instead. This might also account for his interest in "girl" toys.

If being gay is something that you are concerned about and don't want your child to be ( everyone is entitled to their own principles) the worst thing you can do is scold him for playing with girl things or acting feminine. What will happen is that your son will repress his true self and end up hating the person he is and you for not accepting him.
Let him be. He will find his own way.

The only other thing I might suggest is encourage him to spend time with an adult male role model - father/stepfather/grandpa/uncle/teacher/cousin/big-brother program etc..

Answer 2

Toys For 9 Year Old Boys

Answer 3

Choosing to play a female character may only mean that he likes to look at the girls on the screen more than the boys. Kids are always going to be made fun of for something -- something they like, some physical feature, because they're smart, because they're dumb... anything that's different! As a girl, I had more friends that were boys than girls, and I didn't turn into a lesbian.

In the long run, whether he's gay or straight, it's fine for him to be in touch with his feminine side. Some parents will always say, "Oh, I wish I'd paid attention to the signs, Little Billy always played with dolls and now he's gay" but there's really no connection! Worrying about it when he's still far from puberty will just make you paranoid, and won't change the person he is or the person he will become.

Answer 4

Yes it is perfectly normal. It simply means that your 9 year old son hasn't been socialized into gender roles yet. The only way to see it as anything but normal would be to have the outmoded ideology that boys should do 'boy things' and girls should do 'girl things'. These roles have been formulated over several hundred years of paternalism and patriarchy. A male child isn't born with the notion that he should only play with boy toys...he's socialized into it, and vice versa.
Don't fret...and even if he turns out 'the other way', love him no less. He will still be your son.

Answer 5

Why are so many people worried about what their kids are playing with and the male/female gender roles? Do you know that boys who play with "girl" things such as dolls and stuffed animals grow up to be better fathers than those who are encouraged to play fight or play war for example. I would be more worried, if I were in fact you, about my son's happiness. I guess that isn't what counts anymore though, he's only nine for God's sake. Give him a break. Don't worry about this, in time you'll have much more to worry about and long for the days when he played with "girl" things.

And you know what? What if he was gay? Does that mean you will not love him as much? Will you not support his right to love and relationships and happiness? Or will you just drop him? These are the things you should worried about.

Answer 6

i am not trying to be rude or anything like that, but he might be border line......

Either he will or he will grow up being very sensitive and feminine.

If i were you i would throw out the toys and get him different toys that can be used to play with the same way. Instead of ponies, maybe Action figure like ninja turltes etc... These can all interact and play with each other the same ways as brats and ponies. How involved is he in sports? have father and son nights where they all go out and see a game or go bowling, play small game of baseball. Maybe more father influences might help.

As for the future we will have to just wait and see. What is important is that no matter what our children do or become when they are older is that we support them, through right and wrong. We give them the tools, morals, manners and means to live a happy and good life no matter what the life is that they choose. Good luck and good health to you and yours!

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with it and there will be no problem as long as you and your husband don't make a big deal out of it. Children at that age don't know what gay, or lesbian means, My brother loved barbie dolls because he liked to brush their hair. My 6 year old loves the color pink and loves Dora. We just let him be. He also loved care bears until about 6 months ago. If you don't put ideas in his head that it is wrong he will never feel wrong about it. At their age, they don't distinguish male and female toys. Maybe he liked the colors, maybe he is sensitive. Dont' worry and don't make a big deal. Also be proud that he is okay to be who he is and you should never hinder this. Encourage him to play with and like what he likes, not what the world likes. Everyone is different and we need many different varieties of people in this world.

Answer 8

At this age it's normal for them to identify with either sex. I was a total tomboy when I was little. I loved action figures, playing football, riding dirt bikes, etc, I hated Barbie, princess stuff etc. My parents didn't make a big deal out of it. It's just something kids go through. My little brother's favorite color was pink a year ago.....the year before that it was purple, now he likes red.......don't make a big deal out of it. And, while you are entitled to your own opinion, I am curious as to why you would "worry" about him being gay? So what? He is who he is and if you are "worried" then you may have the problem that could project on to him. Possibly, to ease your mind you should seek counseling. I don't say this to be mean, I am just saying this because in today's society, we are turning out serial killers, rapists, child molesters and deviants by the 100s. My child being gay is the absolute least of my worries!
He is your child, love him for who he is, not what he may become.

Answer 9

It's not unusual and if he shows a propensity for liking girls, I think it's safe to say that he's not gay.

I played with boy's toys growing up too....they were fun! Didn't make me any less of a girl and the boys loved that I played together with them!

Answer 10

first of all let me just say do not listen to the first answer and i was thinking about reporting him HOW RUDE!
Your son is fine, and you shouldnt worry at all. Just teach him as you know you will. and instill in him the kind of morals that you see fit then he will be fine. He will probably be a good father, and husband those types of qualities in a man are hard to come by and it sounds like he is on a good track. :-)